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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
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    596

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Is this family dynamic normal for you? Arguments and third party death threats?
    Sadly yes and this is a lot calmer than my childhood


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  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    3,526

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Ok, this is probably 99.99% the reason for your anxiety, and something you might want to consider avoiding in the future as much as possible. Avoiding toxic family members does not make you a bad person.

    You also have a solid reason for the anxiety. Anxiety comes from stress, and it sounds like you have been living with this stress for years. Eventually your central nervous system can't cope with it any more and the anxiety cycle starts. Actually knowing why it's there may help you rationalise it a bit more in the future too.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    596

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Ok, this is probably 99.99% the reason for your anxiety, and something you might want to consider avoiding in the future as much as possible. Avoiding toxic family members does not make you a bad person.

    You also have a solid reason for the anxiety. Anxiety comes from stress, and it sounds like you have been living with this stress for years. Eventually your central nervous system can't cope with it any more and the anxiety cycle starts. Actually knowing why it's there may help you rationalise it a bit more in the future too.
    I had to move home for financial reasons and living alone wasnít much good either I had one set of neighbours threaten to kill me took four years fighting the council to get rid of them and then the next lot robbed my house trashed my whole world so I left and moved back in with my mum. Then she got sick in 2018 and nearly died twice in front of me and had 12 blood transfusions and was in and out of hospital Haemorrhaging before having a five hour operation to save her life, then my other grandma died and Iím trying to do my degree and then my mum broke her leg and I was a career for her my alive grandma and grandpa with no one to help out. I havenít got any friends any more because I became so isolated caring and now this. But yer perhaps my body had enough on the stress front that would make a lot of sense


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  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    500

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenixess View Post
    I had to move home for financial reasons and living alone wasn’t much good either I had one set of neighbours threaten to kill me took four years fighting the council to get rid of them and then the next lot robbed my house trashed my whole world so I left and moved back in with my mum. Then she got sick in 2018 and nearly died twice in front of me and had 12 blood transfusions and was in and out of hospital Haemorrhaging before having a five hour operation to save her life, then my other grandma died and I’m trying to do my degree and then my mum broke her leg and I was a career for her my alive grandma and grandpa with no one to help out. I haven’t got any friends any more because I became so isolated caring and now this. But yer perhaps my body had enough on the stress front that would make a lot of sense


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    this laundry list of things is 100% where your HA and probably just anxiety in general is coming from. I’m so sorry, it sounds like you’ve been through quite a lot in a relatively short amount of time. I apologize that I haven’t read some of the other posts, have you tried any talk therapy?

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    596

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Quote Originally Posted by glassgirlw View Post
    this laundry list of things is 100% where your HA and probably just anxiety in general is coming from. Iím so sorry, it sounds like youíve been through quite a lot in a relatively short amount of time. I apologize that I havenít read some of the other posts, have you tried any talk therapy?
    Thanks for your message, Iím having extended cbt at the moment we have done ten sessions and been given another ten itís really hard because my stupid head kept trying to convince me it wasnít panic or anxiety so Iíve been quite paranoid perhaps I wasnít able to use the cbt as well as I wanted and what we hadnít realised was my safety behaviours were actually negative thoughts in my mind. Our minds are crafty! I had 12 weeks of counselling in the summer but I donít think I was in the right place to do counselling because thatís when I was caring for my grandparents and my mum so itís wasnt beneficial even though I completed it at the time. Going to refer myself for some counselling after all the cbt. I nearly paid for a private psychotherapist but I didnít feel I needed one I know where itís all come from I just really need to learn to let go and relax thatís my biggest challenge.
    And I managed to quit drinking in the midst of all this so just got to crack the puzzle somehow .
    Thank you again i appreciate your support

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    3,526

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenixess View Post
    I had to move home for financial reasons and living alone wasn’t much good either I had one set of neighbours threaten to kill me took four years fighting the council to get rid of them and then the next lot robbed my house trashed my whole world so I left and moved back in with my mum. Then she got sick in 2018 and nearly died twice in front of me and had 12 blood transfusions and was in and out of hospital Haemorrhaging before having a five hour operation to save her life, then my other grandma died and I’m trying to do my degree and then my mum broke her leg and I was a career for her my alive grandma and grandpa with no one to help out. I haven’t got any friends any more because I became so isolated caring and now this. But yer perhaps my body had enough on the stress front that would make a lot of sense
    I'm really sorry you had to experience all this, and it does explain your anxiety now perfectly.

    I hope you're able to find some comfort in the fact that you have an identifiable reason for the anxiety to be there, even though that reason is a long history of difficult situations you've had to endure.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    596

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Just had another panic in the middle of a cafe. Iím wondering why they are getting more intense and worse. Iím scared Iím broken and Iím just going to die. Iím not saying that to be dramatic as much as it seems Iím just feeling defeated


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  8. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    596

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Having a tough day. Feel like I will be ok but doubt is creeping in. Not sure what to think or feel or how to get my focus back on track


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  9. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    3,526

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Use distractions, do whatever you need to do to pay as little attention to what you're feeling as possible. Try and remember the more attention you pay to symptoms, the worse they get. It seems counter intuitive to try and ignore them, but that's what you need to do. Nothing will happen to you, it's just sensation.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    596

    Re: Really frustrated at myself.....

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Use distractions, do whatever you need to do to pay as little attention to what you're feeling as possible. Try and remember the more attention you pay to symptoms, the worse they get. It seems counter intuitive to try and ignore them, but that's what you need to do. Nothing will happen to you, it's just sensation.
    Thank you it escalated a bit I tried to go to the shop I got scared and felt panicky and frustrated at the situation I rushed home and lay on my bed and wrote 15 times ďnothing bad is going to happen to youĒ I might try to something creative to take my mind off it. My mum is concerned she keeps asking me if Iím ok thatís making me worry a bit more but perhaps I have gone very quiet for fear! Really scared of unexpected life threatening situations happening to me


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