CBT update

[pulisa]

It means the garden for example will never feel the same again. I will have recurring thoughts that it’s spoiled and it’s no longer got a clean, new feeling. And same with social media I feel my character is tainted or I have visual images of a landmark and that hair style and I worry if I post that picture I will have the image everybody can see that hair style. Sounds strange but this is the jargon my mind makes up. The don’t just go away over time sadly

I am struggling as I can’t shut these thoughts out so I find it hard to deal with

Yet you say that your anxiety has little impact on your day to day life and you find that ruminating on forums at night makes everything seem worse?

[phil06]

Yet you say that your anxiety has little impact on your day to day life and you find that ruminating on forums at night makes everything seem worse?

When I am working my anxiety and ocd is lower at the moment. However I’d say I have a day off work especially at the moment when I can’t go out much I worry about the same issues which have troubled me for a while. Sometimes the anxiety is manageable and I can do a relaxation other times my anxiety is a bit high and I can’t relax atall. Sometimes the anxiety goes but the ocd doesn’t or the ocd does but anxiety doesn’t never too at same time right now. The tainted issues seems to be very bad at the moment.

[phil06]

Another tainted issue is a year ago I spoke to another women when I was with my partner so my worry is the relationship is tainted as I said I liked the other women even though I never found her attractive can anybody offer any advice?
The social media is an issue for being tainted and also my garden I still feel disgusted the wheelie bin was In my front garden.

Can these tainted feelings really be beaten? Can I really take back control and no wonder worry or do I have to keep on managing these feelings?

[KK77]

Unfortunately, you have severe OCD issues and problems will resurface even after periods of remission. It's an ongoing battle for all of us, regardless of mental illness "type", and sometimes "managing" our condition is all we can do.

[phil06]

I’ve had this issue for around a year perhaps two. It’s at a point where I send a friend request and cancel in fear I spoke to them before on a dating site. People from work ect. Or I have had to delete friends as I worry they are tainted. I had bad ocd about sharing about my partners birthday as I never wanted people to see it was a special birthday and also I worried I’d spoke to the singers before. The anxiety is crippling I worry about adding or sharing and it makes me worry all day. Sure I could quit social media this may help but the anxiety wins. I’m unable to sit with the anxiety which is quite awful. Perhaps I have to limit who I add and live with the anxiety I have most of my family and close friends I guess that’s all that matters. However I feel a bit down that I worry about adding new people or sharing stuff or people being tainted. I worry my own wife is tainted as I spoke to another women last year so worry the relationship is tainted. Can anybody help? I worry how cancelling friend requests or deleting people looks on my part when nobody knows I have anxiety?

[Scass]

Phil, yes lots of people can help and they already have. You’re not dealing with it, you’re just hoping it’ll get better on it’s own or that someone will give you an easy fix. There’s no easy fix. Go back read through the thread again and see what you can apply to your situation.

[phil06]

Yes basically I never use to have anxiety about social media or flying two years ago and both I have struggled with since. I know I could reread stuff but there is so much information to read. In the past I had triggers like moving house but now I have very little going on In my life to have anxiety. That said something like coronavirus doesn’t help as I can’t keep busy and go on days out.

I have been trying not to set unrealistic goals right now and say stuff can wait until later. I had been prone to tackle more after moving house and getting married but perhaps I need to take stock of what I have done and realise I don’t have to push for more and maybe I need to stick to my comfort zone? I am very demanding of myself again I never use to be quite so bad I do remember feeling “content”?

The social media thing has been fuelled by dating sites and trying to impress with footballers or the fancy holidays. In the end it’s just made me more anxious. I actually haven’t posted on social media in over a month I am keen to use it as read only mode so to speak. I feel rather than quit I could instead quit new postings or adding people?

Part of not feeling content came from seeing others on social media with bigger houses or posher holidays that increased my demands of myself.. can I ever feel content again I feel if I am content I could suffer less anxiety?

[nomorepanic]

Why are you on dating sites?

You need to get some online help or a book on OCD and start working through it. This seems out of control to me and you don't seem to want to do any self-help

[Scass]

Yes basically I never use to have anxiety about social media or flying two years ago and both I have struggled with since. I know I could reread stuff but there is so much information to read. In the past I had triggers like moving house but now I have very little going on In my life to have anxiety. That said something like coronavirus doesn’t help as I can’t keep busy and go on days out.

I have been trying not to set unrealistic goals right now and say stuff can wait until later. I had been prone to tackle more after moving house and getting married but perhaps I need to take stock of what I have done and realise I don’t have to push for more and maybe I need to stick to my comfort zone? I am very demanding of myself again I never use to be quite so bad I do remember feeling “content”?

The social media thing has been fuelled by dating sites and trying to impress with footballers or the fancy holidays. In the end it’s just made me more anxious. I actually haven’t posted on social media in over a month I am keen to use it as read only mode so to speak. I feel rather than quit I could instead quit new postings or adding people?

Part of not feeling content came from seeing others on social media with bigger houses or posher holidays that increased my demands of myself.. can I ever feel content again I feel if I am content I could suffer less anxiety?

If it’s too much effort for you to read back on the advice already freely given, then it might be too much effort to reply to you anymore?

Stop avoiding, start taking action.

[Carys]

I asked the same Nicola, a few pages ago.....asking why Phil was on dating sites when he was married only a year ago (or was it two years, losing track now). Phil didn't answer my question though.