CBT update

[BlueIris]

Why would anybody want to help you when you behave in this way?

[phil06]

Why would anybody want to help you when you behave in this way?

Well I had this discussion before and if people choose not to reply they can always skip the topic. I have never heard if somebody tells a lie or cheats they can’t use a forum. I am here to talk about my anxiety not morals, my personal private life, my job or anything like that. I am here to discuss ocd and anxiety that’s all.

[Carys]

I am here to talk about my anxiety not morals, my personal private life, my job or anything like that.

The irony......

...and yet Phil, you do often and have for years, many threads worth. You come here and talk about your private life, in great detail, your job, in great detail, and everything about your life - but when people bring up the 'morals' involved you shut it down. You have laid out all parts of your thinking in minutea for 14 years (?) and so to be honest people can question you in response. Thats the way it works. There is a bottom line here Phil, you only want to talk about exactly what you want to talk about, you only want to hear exactly what you want to hear. You always shut down challenges, questions you don't like and anything which doesn't suit your preferences. You are constantly trying to control other peoples' responses, and yet expect help and advice - but only on your terms.

Perhaps you could actually think about the issue of why you are on a dating site when recently married, and how that comes across to your wife and others ?

[phil06]

...and yet Phil, you do often (and have for years, many threads worth) come here and talk about your private life, in detail, your job, in detail, and when people bring up the 'morals' involved you shut it down. You have laid out all parts of your thinking in minutea for 14 years (?) and so to be honest people can question you in response. Thats the way it works. There is a bottom line here Phil, you only want to talk about exactly what you want to talk about, you only want to hear exactly what you want to hear. You always shut down challenges, questions you don't like and anything which doesn't suit your preferences.

Yes because it doesn’t fit with the forum to discuss dating sites that’s not why the site exists. I take blame for mentioning it however it fits in to my social media anxiety and what goes on in my head. I would rather not have the anxiety however I set all these goals and targets I believe this is where my anxiety stems from.

[BlueIris]

Do you not see how hard you make it for people to want to help you?

[Carys]

Yes because it doesn’t fit with the forum to discuss dating sites that’s not why the site exists.

...but it does exist to discuss bins, birthday parties, footballers, social media, weddings, other members of your family, phones at work, blah blah etc. (x14 years) No Phil, this is you choosing what you do and don't want people to respond to.

[pulisa]

It's all about controlling people's responses and you can't do this on social media hence the anxiety

[Carys]

Yes. Spot on Pulisa.

[phil06]

It's all about controlling people's responses and you can't do this on social media hence the anxiety

No that’s totally off the ball.

Its because I feel somebody is tainted or I worry if I spoke to the person before I am tainted if I add them and when I browse the friend list my urge is to delete the person to feel relief or clean. This has only been an issue in last year or two maybe less perhaps about six months.

[Fishmanpa]

After reading your responses Phil? I have no words..... Well I do, but probably best to keep those to myself

FMP