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Thread: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    I'm having a rough time of it. I agreed to house/dog sit for a family I've worked for before. I knew them through work and have done it off an on for years so figured I'd help them out again since they are moving in a couple of months. Their dogs are an absolute nightmare - pee and poo everywhere. Their home is white carpet so of course urine stains everywhere. They've yelled at me in the past for what they perceived as additional stains, and they pay poorly. But hey, I told myself that since they're moving I won't have to do it again.


    Well, I met the woman last week to get the keys to their house. She lets me know her daughter will actually be there the entire time I am. Daughter is 18 and going to college next year, but despite that they live in a nice, safe neighborhood they don't think it's safe to leave her for five nights (?) so wanted me to stay there overnight. She's also running around because she is in two different theater productions so they wanted me to help her out a bit with letting the dogs out and making sure they were fed. Sounds like something I could 100% do without having to spend the night there, but whatever, I still agreed.


    Woman tells me that her daughter will get home around 9:30 at night but I might already be in bed by then. I told her that yes, I go to bed at 9 regularly so will be asleep but if she wants to open the door and grab her dog out of my room that's fine.


    Last night I hear the daughter come home. She's on the phone. I can tell they're talking about me but I can't quite make out what they're saying.


    This morning I get an angry text from the mother about "timing." Particularly, why am I not letting the dogs out for the last time at 11 pm? Why did I arrive yesterday at 10 after 6pm (I had a late meeting at work).


    I just feel really used and upset. I agreed to come at 6 pm and stay through the night. I apologized for arriving 10 minutes late due to my other job but it couldn't be helped and 10 minutes is hardly any time at all. I don't understand why I have to get out of bed at 11 pm after already retiring for the night to take the dogs out when the daughter could let them out one last time when she comes home. Or why it even matters - the dogs pee inside anyway.


    I'm also frustrated because the daughter sleeps with one of the dogs and every morning she doesn't let her dog out to the bathroom before leaving for school (before I get up); she just lets the dog in with me where she immediately pees on the floor.


    I am honestly exhausted and on the verge of tears - not unusual for house sitting for this family but I can't stand being tattled on and yelled at on top of it. They pay me $25/day to watch these dogs; they'd easily pay $60 per dog per day if they boarded them. I feel like I'm doing them a huge favor and they are just really nasty to me in return, and I'm honestly not sure how I'm going to survive the rest of the week.
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    I still go a little bit crazy sometimes...
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    [Mostly] managing anxiety, HA, and depression.

  2. #2
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    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    Ohhh, Poppy!

    Just remember, it's only a few more days now and you don't ever have to do it again. You're worth so much more than that.
    __________________
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  3. #3
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    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    Thanks. My friends are telling me that I should just let her know I can be available for emergencies but can no longer stay at the house. Daughter has no school tomorrow or on Saturday and I don't think she has play practice either so I really don't know why I'm needed those two days anyway. But honestly I've come this far and I'm very afraid the mother will, at least, yell at me via text and potentially come to my office and yell at me here too.
    __________________

    I still go a little bit crazy sometimes...
    but now I don't stay near as long.


    [Mostly] managing anxiety, HA, and depression.

  4. #4
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    4,862

    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    You agreed to do it, so finish up for the sake of a quiet life.

    Your friends are right, though, you need to have as little to do with these people as possible.

    Really sorry you're being mistreated like this.
    __________________
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    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
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    980

    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    You dont deserve to be treated like that

    Next time they ask you to dog sit, refuse and just say you cant, let them pay to board the dogs, kindness towards someone doing them a favour costs nothing
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  6. #6
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    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    Thank you everyone! I'm just kind of throwing myself a pity party here, my boss is buying me lunch as a thank you for some stuff I helped her with yesterday but my anxiety is so sky high I'm not even hungry. Honestly concerned that when I have to interact with the daughter tonight/tomorrow/Saturday that she's going to confront me and be unkind and I'm not sure how to even begin to handle that.

    I have an awful headache and I don't see it going away, especially as the mother just texted me and insisted I take the dogs out at 11 pm, which cuts my sleep way down and means I cannot take my migraine pills until after then as they put me right to sleep.
    __________________

    I still go a little bit crazy sometimes...
    but now I don't stay near as long.


    [Mostly] managing anxiety, HA, and depression.

  7. #7
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    10,949

    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    You told this creature that you go to bed at 9 so either you sort the dogs out just before 9 or the daughter takes responsibility when she gets home. She's an adult not a small child.

    If this woman were to stalk you at work she's be driven off the premises and as for the prospect of the daughter hassling you, you are in control and are doing her a favour.

    Don't let yourself be bullied? You are looking after these dogs as agreed and they don't know what the time is.. At least you won't have to deal with these control freaks again.

  8. #8
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    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    Pulisa, "Don't let yourself be bullied" really speaks to me here. I am very averse to confrontation so it's really, really hard for me not to just cave and do whatever it takes to appease someone, but that's not healthy for me. Sitting here at work getting next to nothing done is not healthy for me. I haven't had to take a clonazepam in over a year and I've been here thinking I need to take one - I won't let their crazy whims mess up the strides I've made with my anxiety.

    This is difficult, but you know what? I'm doing them a huge favor, that is true. I'm missing out on time with my own dog who has some health concerns to help them out and I don't deserve to be treated poorly as a result.
    __________________

    I still go a little bit crazy sometimes...
    but now I don't stay near as long.


    [Mostly] managing anxiety, HA, and depression.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    980

    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    if they go after you at work, if theres security at your place of work then you could have them removed, daughter needs to take more responsibility, you need to get enough sleep and that is a NEED
    __________________
    Beauty (12th August 2007 - 3rd November 2008 )
    Dylan (4th November 2008 - 23rd March 2012)
    Tom (29th August 2014 - 17th October 2014)
    Ebony (1st January 2014 - 2nd March 2018)
    Tigger (31st October 2014 - current)
    Willow (3rd November 2018 - current)

  10. #10
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    Re: Oh I need a hug, please and thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by .Poppy. View Post
    Pulisa, "Don't let yourself be bullied" really speaks to me here. I am very averse to confrontation so it's really, really hard for me not to just cave and do whatever it takes to appease someone, but that's not healthy for me. Sitting here at work getting next to nothing done is not healthy for me. I haven't had to take a clonazepam in over a year and I've been here thinking I need to take one - I won't let their crazy whims mess up the strides I've made with my anxiety.

    This is difficult, but you know what? I'm doing them a huge favor, that is true. I'm missing out on time with my own dog who has some health concerns to help them out and I don't deserve to be treated poorly as a result.
    Good for you, Poppy! How dare they tell you what time to go to bed! She has chosen to go away so the dogs should fit in with your schedule-you are not being unreasonable just mindful of your own needs. This woman is bullying you because she thinks she can but you can stand your ground and prove her wrong!

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