Alone for a couple of days

[valeriej]

I can't believe I feel like this, I feel really wobbly. Stomach upset and very anxious. I think it's because my husband has gone away for two days and will be staying overnight in Leicester (a course). The last time I was alone was about 16 years ago and with my anxiety/panic attacks I'm much worse now than I was then. He's only just gone and I'm like how am I going to get through tonight? I am off work today and tomorrow as I cannot travel on public transport because of my panic attacks and claustrophobia so am taking two days off and I cannot get out as I have trouble walking by myself because of anxiety. Once it gets light I think I can manage but the night is the worst as it's dark, like now, and I feel soooooo alone. I just have to keep thinking that my husband's back soon but it seems so far off and I feel sick with my anxiety. I haven't taken a Diazepam (2mg) yet as I took one yesterday morning but I am really praying it gets light soon.

I haven't got anyone who will come and stay with me, I know my neighbour is next door and I have a couple I know over the road but how can you call them in the middle of the night? I've even printed off the Samaritans help line just in case I need it - but I could do with someone just being here with me tonight. My two sisters and oldest brother is on holiday and my younger brother and Mum live a 2 hour journey away, can't even get up there by myself. Roll on Wednesday evening.

I'm trying to think positively saying my husband's just gone to work and it's a day at home for me to craft - want to do a mini-album (scrapbook) for my brother for Christmas but I just wish I could fall asleep for 36 hours and then when I wake up I know my husband's coming home.

Has anyone else experienced this and how do you cope?

[tnt808]

I completely understand what you're going through. Just know that you will make it through these 2 nights. You're strong, capable, and as you said yourself you have things you can do.

It's no fun being lonely, but 2 days is a walk in the park hun. Busy yourself and enjoy the alone time if you're able to.

I will gladly trade your 2 days for my 1 year w/out my hubby.

[yorkylover]

Hi Valerie Im sorry your having such a bad time at the mo.We are all here if you need us.Its Tuesday already so only a few more hours to go and hubby will be home.You have done really really well.try and keep busy if you can.I know the nights are worse.Try having a nice soak in the bath,have a camomile tea and try and go to bed.Read for a while or listen to a relaxation tape or cd.Your doing well and satying strong,you can do this.Just think when he is back,you will have acheived a goal

[valeriej]

Thanks for the replies.

I hate clock watching but seem to be doing it. I calmed down for a while and managed to sing along to the radio and do some crafting.

I've now got QVC on and a crafting programme till 4 pm then some other things I normally watch so that should keep me occupied.

Hopefully this time tomorrow hubby will be on his way home.

I've had some bad anxiety moments but have kept myself off taking a Diazepam, I don't really like taking them so if I have to take one tonight then I won't worry quite as much if you see what I mean.

You are right it'll be a major achievement doing this and I know my neighbour is just next door if I'm desparate. Still I can sit in bed and watch TV, listen to my relaxing CDs as you suggest so hoping the night will soon go.

Thanks for listening, I think it's because I haven't done this before why it's so full of anxiety, but I keep reminding myself my home is my safe haven and I'm safe here and I know my hubby is safe in Leicester as I've been getting regular phone calls from him. I sat on the sofa earlier crafting and my anxiety was there and I told it off and said go away there's nothing to worry about.

Praying I'll be okay for tonight.

[yorkylover]

Valerie you are doing great,your hubby will be so proud of you.If you find you cant sleep come on no panic for a while.Just think tomorrow night hubby will be with you and you can say you spent two nights on your own. What an acheivment.I havent even managed to do that,Iv been on my own for one night only.
Do you have any pets?

[jonoaus]

Hope you managed OK Valerie. I have been in the exact same situation when my girlfriend went away for three nights. Mornings and when I tried to get to sleep were the worst times but I got through it! I had Kalma (alprazolam) to take if I needed it (haven't had those in a long time!).

Anway, remember that it is challenging but worth it. Be strong