*trigger warning* Does reassurance really help?

[Jabberwoxx]

Hi everyone,

I've been recently lurking on this forum, having had bad health anxiety for various issues over the years, and even posting a few threads myself a long time ago.

Recently I've been having bad bouts of health anxiety - the "dying suddenly in my sleep from an undiagnosed heart condition" has reared its ugly head again, as well as various other diseases/illnesses.

However, something which occurred to me when browsing this forum is that I am not entirely sure why people seek reassurance, because even if they are reassured from one disease, the nature of Health Anxiety would surely mean another "disease worry" will strike.

Surely the better way to combat anxiety is accept the possibility of actually being ill (even if it is like a 0.00000001 % chance), rather than being reassured that you are definitely not ill. This is because it can honestly happen to anyone at any time. As I am likely to have GAD rather than specifically HA, I don't just worry about illness, but also about other ways I could suddenly 'die' e.g. a random accident, terrorism, traffic accidents, etc.

I've learned that anxiety and uncertainty are best friends, but anxiety and acceptance are not.

It sounds quite dark but as a fellow HA sufferer myself, I know that no matter what, I will always be worried about something - and that you really cannot control everything in your life. Death can occur at any time, anywhere, and no one is immune to suddenly developing a serious illness. This is when I get the stark realization that worrying about my health is absolutely pointless. Surely it is better to come up with ways of how you would cope IF you did happen to get a serious illness, no matter how unlikely it is. And how it is such a waste of time to be worrying about something completely beyond your control, as we take years and years of enjoyment from our lives. As I have done.

Just a thought. I hope this thread has not offended anybody but I have sought reassurance for practically every disease in the medical journal over the years, and I am exhausted/weary with it, because I still continue to worry about disease/dying. Because I know no matter what, my brain will latch onto 'something'.

[Fishmanpa]

Does reassurance really help?

While for a few it can offer some short term relief, based on what I've seen here, the overwhelming evidence is not in the least and in fact its detrimental to recovery.

Positive thoughts

[skippy66]

Does reassurance really help?

While for a few it can offer some short term relief, based on what I've seen here, the overwhelming evidence is not in the least and in fact its detrimental to recovery.

Positive thoughts

This all day long.

In fact I'd go a bit further to say that short term relief in itself is detrimental in the long run as it keeps you locked in the cycle.

[Jabberwoxx]

A person who does not suffer Health Anxiety: Gets symptom, may get a bit worried/anxious, gets all-clear from doctor, forgets about it and carries on enjoying life.

A person who suffers Health Anxiety: Gets symptom, gets extreme levels of terrible anxiety, gets all-clear from the doctor, gets temporary relief, finds another symptom and obsesses, gets extreme anxiety, believes doctor to be wrong, seeks reassurance from forum and family/friends, Googles obsessively, gets extreme levels of even more terrible anxiety, goes to another doctor to get a second opinion, believes that doctor to be wrong, etc.

There is a terrible never-ending cycle and I really do believe "reassurance" does absolutely nothing to help. What if a person with HA was actually diagnosed with a serious illness? How would they cope?

[Scass]

No, reassurance doesn’t really help.
Doubt will always creep in, or the next thing will happen.

Sometimes reassurance can be helpful - if the person asking is willing to believe the answer.

[ToasterOvens]

Constant reassurance makes health anxiety much worse. Its sole purpose is to try and remove uncertainty, but it typically fails.

Living with uncertainty and accepting it is a much better idea. Its incredibly uncomfortable. Family, hobbies, passions, and trying to reduce the uncertainty using healthy methods like diet and exercise really help.

[Jabberwoxx]

Which leads me to ask: why is some of the advice here for example: "you do NOT have *** cancer" etc.? Surely that's a method of reassurance?

No-one can absolutely definitely tell someone they don't have a disease unless they are a qualified medical professional.

I know a lot of the advice here, is to go to a doctor, and that people on this forum cannot diagnose others. But I have seen some replies where someone will quite staunchly say "you do NOT have cancer, you are fine". When surely it is better to say something more like "your chances of having this cancer are, statistically, very very low, but please do go to the doctor to be on the safe side where your mind will be put at rest". It only then becomes more reasonable to say someone doesn't have cancer when they have sought medical advice, been told they don't have it and yet STILL think they do.

[BlueIris]

To be fair, Jabberwoxx, that does account for most of the people here who get flat-out told they don't have cancer. In I'd guess 95% of these cases, the individuals concerned have had multiple medical investigations but still choose to believe their anxious brain over qualified professionals.

[whispershadow]

Reassurance only helps if the person getting the reassurance is able to believe the other person above their brain.

I know this from experience.

For example, i get very scared and worried that i'll get banned from forums and can get so fretful i constantly ask the staffs i trust whether i'm getting banned

they'll tell me no but i then cant believe them and keeping wanting to know if they are sure and then are they sure they are sure

they then get pissed off and i get in trouble :(

[Jabberwoxx]

I'm only speaking from personal experience, but my biggest problem with my own HA was the absolute inability to accept that I could one day develop an illness and die. In essence, it's a paralysing fear of death and leaving my loved ones behind. I just could not accept it.

I couldn't accept that something, no matter how rare, could still happen to me.

I'm not saying this would be applicable to everyone. But my concern is: how would a person with Health anxiety genuinely cope if god forbid they did actually get diagnosed with a very serious illness?

In that respect, surely it is better to work on acceptance that life is uncertain rather than reassuring that someone does not have a particular disease. Because that's where a lot of anxiety stems from: fear of the unknown, and fear of not being in control.

Accepting uncertainty, dealing with uncertain situations e.g. a strange symptom is key here. That's why I think it's better to deal with the overall coping mechanisms with anxiety rather than reassure someone they haven't got a disease.