Advice please. Can’t decided if I’m getting better or worse?

[nianxiousguy]

I’ve been stuck in this hell since last October. Started off with panic attacks, but I managed to get rid of them and was left with periods of high anxiety. I say periods because i had good days and then really bad days.

This went on until January when calm came. I felt great, thought I was over it for about 4 weeks, then this low level anxiety came and it’s never left. If feels like i am waiting on someone to just jump out and scare me that type of feeling. And with this my mood has dipped. I just feel constantly fed up and pissed off.

All this hasn’t stopped me doing anything though but life has lost its sparkle somewhat. They say about dark thoughts. I’ve had thoughts no like I want to jump of a bridge more like I have the thought and it’s the opposite of what i want to do, it scares me rather than something I want to do, but these thoughts come daily and I think as a result brings me mood down.

Then came the sleep issues, taking hours to fall over to sleep.

I don’t use meds, I follow Paul David’s advice about accepting, I exercise daily and use supplements such as magnesium.

Any advice?

[BlueIris]

Are you receiving therapy at the moment? It can be really helpful to talk things through with a trained outsider.

With all that said, I wasn't able to live a comfortable life without meds; there's no shame in it.

Anxiety is a tough condition; you have to find what works for you and sometimes trial and error is the only way.

[nianxiousguy]

No I’m not

[BlueIris]

In that case, it might be that this isn't something you can handle alone right now. Maybe have a chat to your doctor?

[Carys]

It sounds to me like 'intrusive thoughts' are getting ontop of you.....and maybe just reading about them and having some understanding about how to deal with them might help. They are one of the worst parts of anxiety conditions, well, they were for me when I used to have them. They felt inescapable and I felt desperate, terrified and the more scared I got the more they came and the more intensely they came. There are lots of articles out there about overcoming intrusive thoughts, but just googled one for you -

https://www.healthline.com/health/me...ughts-coping#1

Maybe, as Blue says, its time to go talk things over with your GP as you do sound so low about it, and maybe even a wee bit of talking therapy could help ?

[Solarbind]

just do what can make you happy and better, after all, happiness is a matter of choice, not by chance...if you are confused listen to your inner soul.

[BlueIris]

Solar, no, with mental illness happiness isn't always a choice. The whole point of these nasty conditions is that they cause constant self-doubt. I'm mostly recovered, but I still often find it difficult to work out what I really need.

NI, how are you feeling?