Hi i did post this about 15 months ago regarding one time i was staying over up in Scotland at a relatives house. My ocd is going through the roof hence why i,m on hear. When i stayed at this house i did have thoughts of a sexual nature against my aunty through marriage. Don’t no why but i did. I just brushed them off then the next time i was staying up there about 15 months ago, i even said to myself don’t get any ideas or thoughts about a sexual nature was even dreading it in a way. We went to the party came back drunk to my uncle and aunties house they argued i carried on drinking he went to bed, i went to my room but i feel like i,m trying to remember if i wanted something to happen. I got changed to my boxers went into the kitchen to see were she was i was very drunk. I said are you ok. Then she said shocked because maybe i was in my boxers. I wasn’t aroused but i was noticing my bulge maybe there was a bit of blood but definitely not erect. Get yourself to bed which i did. Next day i realised and was already thinking oh no. I did mention to her was i in my boxers she said yes. That was that. Then i got really depressed obsessed about why did i do that did i want to have sex. All these thoughts of me thinking that i was a dirty so and so. I was totally drunk. I did txt her to sorry for walking about in my undies. She won’t of known what i was thinking. That’s what i feel dirty and guilty for. Back then and now. I have been up twice since then with no problems recently 2 wks ago. She did say why are you not staying at mine again. I always feel welcome but why did i spoil it. I feel like a monster, and i feel like it was incest. Nothing happened. Just the guilt of what i was thinking acting etc. This started agin from a trigger from a tv show. Regarding a uncle who abused and killed his niece. I feel the urge to confess big style. Thanks if you took the time to read.