Any Other Unpaid Carers?

[pulisa]

We may not be keyworkers but we are important to those who rely on our care and support , whether for physical or mental health needs.

For all those caring for elderly parents or for children with special needs..or for friends in distress..Just because we don't earn money we are still important yet often overlooked.

If we are ill we have to carry on regardless..So try to keep well everyone and talk about things on here if you would like a place to vent?

[Carnation]

Excellent idea for a thread Pulisa.
Myself and Mr C were unpaid carers for a decade we were just saying how much more difficult it would be with the Covid19 situation.
We have now offered our services to many in our area that need help and are self isolating.
My thoughts go out to those in this difficult time. That includes you Pulisa x

[KK77]

Unpaid carers do a very difficult yet vital job, many with their own mental/physical health problems too. You have my admiration and support, especially during these unknown and worrying times.

[pulisa]

Thanks, Carnation xx I think it's great that you have offered to help out in your community and I'm sure people will be very grateful for anything that you can do that they can't.

I've seen a lot of carers at the shops trying to get supplies for their elderly parents and finding the shelves stripped bare.. These new "silver hours" at the shops for the elderly don't cover family members buying food for them, I suppose?

I'm dealing with a terrified daughter who has autism and OCD-contamination issues and a son on a hospital ward with confirmed cases. This all seems very unreal but I have to try and make it manageable for everyone. My OH is quite relaxed about the whole thing but won't be when they close all the golf courses (we are NOT rich...far from it...but he is an addict!)

[pulisa]

Unpaid carers do a very difficult yet vital job, many with their own mental/physical health problems too. You have my admiration and support, especially during these unknown and worrying times.

Thanks, KK. It's exhausting but not insurmountable and it helps being selective with what we watch on TV and what we don't.

I don't like being "monitored" around the clock though for signs and symptoms..but then nobody dare cough these days!

[Scass]

My Dad cared for my Mum for 8 years while she had dementia. She had carers towards the end, but he did it all himself. At the detriment to his own health too, because often carers don’t have time to look after their own needs. If both my parents were still here I would be very concerned about them both. Part of me wishes they were still here though, just so I could speak to them every day & for my Dad to make me laugh.

Sorry, I went a bit off topic and made myself teary.

Look after yourself too Pulisa, you are so vitally important to a lot of people. Of course you don’t have a lot of choice in the matter, or would even consider not doing what you do, but I hope that you have someone to lean on too.

My next door neighbour has dementia, she’s in her 80’s and I’m so fond of her. She has carers and her son visits every day. I don’t know how we’ll stop her walking to the shop every day though, she just doesn’t remember what’s going on in the world. We took her some food the other day, but it’s already forgotten- it’s just her daily routine.

[pulisa]

Oh Scass, I certainly understand how much you miss your parents..I miss mine too and could always rely on my Dad to give me strength and good advice when I was at a low point. My parents would both have been 99 now had they lived so that would be an unlikely scenario but I'm relieved my Dad didn't live to have to face the threat now as he died 5 years ago. I don't think we ever really get over losing our parents, do we? Your Dad sounds as if he was an extremely resilient and caring man who took on a lot but just got on with it..Irreplaceable but the memories live on xx

I think it will be very difficult to stop your neighbour from going out..She needs her routine but she will be putting herself at risk but obviously doesn't realise this. My mother-in -law is nearly 90 but lives out in the wilds.She has just given my OH a long list of shopping but good luck with that!!! The shelves are stripped bare around
here..I think elderly people have been through far worse so maybe are a bit blase about CV or maybe are just prepared to take the risk rather than be cooped up for weeks on end if they are used to getting out and about? It's a hard one..

I hope your little girl is ok, Scass? x

[Scass]

I mean he was grumpy and so rude to people sometimes (wonder where I get it from?!) but he was funny and he (and my wonderful kind Mum) loved us wholeheartedly and without question.

Good luck to your husband getting the shopping! Mine managed to get me some bits yesterday. He just rang & told me how an old man was trying to buy 3 tins of salmon in the co-op & they told him he could only have 2, and the old man said “but the special offer is for 3” . It’s just ridiculous isn’t it?!

My daughter is fine. She’s getting way too much screen time and has lived in her pyjamas for 4 days, but she’s pretty happy. She cheers me up no end, so I’m very lucky.

Funny you should say about your daughter questioning your hygiene, but I keep doing the same to my OH who is a self-employed carpenter. He lost his temper with me this morning...

Xx

[pulisa]

I hate being "monitored" but she's frightened I'll die if she doesn't keep me under her control in terms of hygiene..but of course she can't have complete peace of mind. She certainly has her work cut out with her dad who is very laid back but has come under the cosh recently and now appreciates the extent of her contamination fears!

I'm glad your daughter is ok and hope things continue like this once the "novelty" of being home has worn off xx

[Noivous]

This is such a necessary post, Pulisa. Good idea. It's not a cliche that the caregiver is a harder job than the one being cared for. My brother and I cared for our parents through our mom's Alzheimers (she passed in 17). My brother was more hands on day to day than I was. Usually it lands on one (maybe two) and that has a lot to do with location and circumstance. I was 35 miles away and working full time. My brother was 2 miles away and self employed. I was the red tape/money/POA guy...which believe me there is tons of that stuff...selling condos/paying bills/getting medicaid/pre arranging funerals/trust accounts...and much more. But no doubt about it the heavy lifting is the day to day hands on person. Anyone who handles both jobs it's brutal. By the time our mom passed away our dad was at the point of declining. Fast forward to a little over a year ago. My brother couldn't do it any longer (god bless him). He actually said to me "I can't do it anymore." And it was said in a way that was actually frightening to hear. He had a complete and total emotional breakdown...spent two weeks in a psych ward. Then 10 months living in my house. I became the caregivers caregiver. I immediately moved our dad to a nursing home. My brother has since moved out and is slowly getting back on his feet...physically, financially, and emotionally.

I guess my point in telling anyone this is to say - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR YOU'LL WINDUP USELESS TO YOUR LOVED ONE(S)!!!

A caregiver is the toughest job you can imagine. Get help. Take brakes. And know that at a certain point you don't have the ability to keep people going.

Thanks,

N