Scared I might have leukaemia??

[Toby2000]

I chew and bite my fingers a lot to the point where there's a lot of hard, dead skin. It's just a habit. I noticed that there was like a 'cut' in some harder skin on my left hand's index finger, and it opens whenever I bend my finger. There's no red inside of it anymore, but it hasn't closed yet or scabbed over, and it's been that way for like a week

and I was trying to get rid of a spot below my mouth and made a mess of my skin and it scabbed over but I think I may have removed the scab and there's like a cut beneath it (maybe where I pulled the scab) and it's still open, and a little red inside

I know it sounds stupid, but I'm scared that I have leukeamia. What triggered this was reading about a boy of my age (19 I think he was) who caught COVID-19 and died because he had undiagnosed leukaemia, and he couldn't fight COVID-19 because of a low blood cell count caused by the cancer

I've also been a little breathless recently which is a symptom

I hit myself on my arm hard with a remote a few times and bruises seem to be forming, so I'm gonna see if they heal or not. Bruises that don't heal can be a sign of leukaemia

[BlueIris]

Toby, this is just a response to scary external stimuli. Why don't you see if you have any elderly neighbours you can help instead?

[skippy66]

Toby. Let me explain to you as somebody has been in a worse situation than you, what needs to happen for you to get better.

You need to change your mindset.

Ask yourself now - why have I posted this on the health anxiety forum?

The answer is simple. You are worried and you're looking for reassurance. You're looking for me, or someone else, neither of whom is a medical professional (and even they get things wrong), to tell you "no you're fine, it's just x or y, not leukaemia"

This loop of reassurance seeking you are stuck in is difficult to escape from, but you can. I did.

Here's how you need to approach this:

"I might have leukaemia, or I might not. I may get COVID-19, or I may not. I may die from either of these. I probably won't, but I might."

Then, you need to realise that nobody knows how long they have left on this planet. And once it's gone, it's gone forever. No second chances.

Whether you have 3 days left, or 70 years - how are you going to spend your life? Are you going to waste it worrying, or are you going to approach it with the attitude: "F*** IT, I'm going to enjoy this crazy ride, however long it lasts for".

My moment of clarity came when I imagined myself on my deathbed, thinking back at what I'd done with my life. The thought of having wasted it worrying scared me more than any potential heart disease or cancer i may have got.

You will beat this, but you need to stop looking for reassurance. Now.

[nomorepanic]

Toby - you really should not be hitting yourself to cause injury to test a response for an imaginary illness.

Can you not see how self-destructive this can be?

[Toby2000]

Thanks for the replies.

Skippy, you're right about the reassurance seeking, looking at it in retrospective. It's easy to say that though but hard to stick to not seeking reassurance when the next worry comes about

I probably shouldn't have run to make a thread because it was based on a quick scare

I don't even have bruises forming, and you bruise easily with leukaemia, right?

[Fishmanpa]

Toby. Let me explain to you as somebody has been in a worse situation than you, what needs to happen for you to get better.

You need to change your mindset.

Ask yourself now - why have I posted this on the health anxiety forum?

The answer is simple. You are worried and you're looking for reassurance. You're looking for me, or someone else, neither of whom is a medical professional (and even they get things wrong), to tell you "no you're fine, it's just x or y, not leukaemia"

This loop of reassurance seeking you are stuck in is difficult to escape from, but you can. I did.

Here's how you need to approach this:

"I might have leukaemia, or I might not. I may get COVID-19, or I may not. I may die from either of these. I probably won't, but I might."

Then, you need to realise that nobody knows how long they have left on this planet. And once it's gone, it's gone forever. No second chances.

Whether you have 3 days left, or 70 years - how are you going to spend your life? Are you going to waste it worrying, or are you going to approach it with the attitude: "F*** IT, I'm going to enjoy this crazy ride, however long it lasts for".

My moment of clarity came when I imagined myself on my deathbed, thinking back at what I'd done with my life. The thought of having wasted it worrying scared me more than any potential heart disease or cancer i may have got.

You will beat this, but you need to stop looking for reassurance. Now.

REALITY!

Toby - you really should not be hitting yourself to cause injury to test a response for an imaginary illness.

Can you not see how self-destructive this can be?

Again REALITY, but this is someone who posted intimate personal images and picked apart and examined excrement, so its not surprising.

Positive thoughts

[Confetti]

You had any drastic loss of weight or unusual lumps alongside this? If this is the first thing you’ve noticed I highly doubt you have something so terrible, to be blunt you would know about it before you began piecing together a theory.