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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    305

    I cant think of stuff to say when talking to people?

    Hi there, when ever people are talking to me telling me stories about their life, my mind goes blank, feels like I cant think and listen at the same time so I never have an answer ready when they finish talking, my natural response is, oh, ah, okay, haha comes out my mouth before I even had a chance to think, I cant make friends anymore because of this, I cant hold a conversation with anyone, I have no thoughts in my head, my mind feels empty,
    is there something wrong with my brain or is this something I can improve on?

    Anyone have the same issue? Thanks.

  2. #2

    Re: I cant think of stuff to say when talking to people?

    Hi JustBenn,

    This is pretty common with Social Anxiety. I can work with you through this if you're ok with answering a few questions?

    - When someone you are comfortable around is talking to you,
    are you trying to think of what to say, or does something just
    come if you have something to say at all?

    - When someone is telling you a story, why do you need to
    have something to say?

    - How well can you listen to the story when you're trying to
    think of something to say and how will that affect you when
    they've finished telling their story?
    Last edited by asmi8803; 03-04-20 at 15:39.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    305

    Re: I cant think of stuff to say when talking to people?

    Quote Originally Posted by asmi8803 View Post
    Hi JustBenn,

    Hi, apologies for the late response as I completely forgotten I've made this thread, please I'd like you to work with me to improve my communication..

    This is pretty common with Social Anxiety. I can work with you through this if you're ok with answering a few questions?

    - When someone you are comfortable around is talking to you,
    are you trying to think of what to say, or does something just
    come if you have something to say at all?

    When someone I'm comfortable around is talking to me, nothing comes to my head, im trying to find a response while they are talking and I feel I need to say something otherwise they might think I'm an idiot or theres something wrong with me. Yesterday a random conversation came up about Gordon Ramsay and how he swears a lot in his shows and screams where's the lamb sauce or its rawww, they began to tell me about who he is and the shows to watch, what's unknown to them is that I know all his shows very well and watched them all, I couldnt jump in and say that I know him and think he is hilarious and the shows are funny.

    - When someone is telling you a story, why do you need to
    have something to say?

    I want them to enjoy talking to me and I dont want to come across as a boring person who has no thoughts or opinions on anything. I'm Asian and I think some people assume I came from another country because of how bad my communication is, I was actually born here, in the UK.

    - How well can you listen to the story when you're trying to
    think of something to say and how will that affect you when
    they've finished telling their story?
    Mostly when they are talking, I'm already dreading my turn to talk because I know I have zero to say, I listen carefully at the words and not the story it self, I never have any questions to ask at the end when it's my turn to talk, other than wow really, I feel like I cant think or use my head to quickly find a response.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,739

    Re: I cant think of stuff to say when talking to people?

    I think it's more of case of not feeling relaxed saying nothing.
    Although asmi has mentioned some really good points and I have been guilty of only half listening while thinking of what I can say.
    Also, some people are storytellers, some are listeners.
    It's very common for a storyteller to end their story on a question anyway.. So try not to think of anything to say, go with the flow, smile or frown accordingly and let the natural way take its form.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    202

    Re: I cant think of stuff to say when talking to people?

    Im like this when i dont feel very confident , sometimes we just kinda click with people aswell and sometimes we dont ,people mostly like to talk about themselves or something they love , a dog if your out walking, there car or there kids ages or answer a question so i use those to get me by but i also dont take it to heart if we dont click .

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