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  1. #1

    So scared I canít stop crying

    Iíve been in a health anxiety spiral since middle of February when I developed and have since recovered from Bellís Palsy. But since the stress of that sent me in a downward spiral and now Iím convinced I have ALS and Iím so scared, I donít want to leave my babies behind without a mom :(

    I first started having what a consider to be weak muscles in my left arm and leg the night I got home from the ER after being diagnosed with Bellís Palsy. I had to CT scans and they couldnít find anything, but I was still convinced I had a brain tumor so I had a panic attack when I got home. After that I have had the following symptoms I will list: and I yes I have read the thread about ALS being about failure and not feeling and I have a failing , Iíll tell you below. :( Iím literally shaking as I type this.

    -Random twitches all over body. Comes and goes. Sometimes it twitches so hard I can see it.
    -Perceived weakness in my left arm, hand and leg. thumb feels kind of weird as Iím typing on my phone.
    -a couple of weeks ago I went to the ENT because I felt like a had trouble swallowing/had to force myself to swallow. When I told him this happened after Bellís palsy he said ďhmm thatís interestingĒ I said what do you mean and he said ďI just think itís interesting youíre having trouble swallowing after having Bellís Palsy and both those have to do with nervesĒ I asked him to elaborate what he thought but he wouldnít tell me. Now Iím freaking out thinking he was thinking of ALS.
    -hereís where Iím having a failing and literally shaking with fear since I first noticed this morning. On my left foot, the side of my body where I feel like Iím having some weakness, I canít curl my pinky toe all the down!!!!! Omg I literally canít breathe, Iím only 32 why is this happening to me?!! And no, Iíve never broken this toe. Iím so scared

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    5,905

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    All the things you describe can come from a very over-active HA mind, 'trouble swallowing' and having to force yourself to swallow has been listed in anxiety books since the beginning of - anxiety books being published LOL Twitches, yep, common. 'Perceived' weakness is just that, not real weakness. The toe thing - one of mine I can't curl in the same way as the other side, and I kid you not, I noticed it a year or so back when I was trying to do my toe nails.

    I've told this story on here before, about the power of the human mind. I thought I had a brain tumour and was losing the use of the left side of my body about 35 years ago. I ended up falling over, having the left side feel weak and with loss of function, eventually I lay in bed bar hobbling to the toilet for a few days and had assorted other left side symptoms. Pain behind left eye, pain in my head, partially closed eye and a few other things. None of them were real. Within a few weeks I was entirely physically functioning again. I think the Bell's Palsy has likely set off a spiral for you. The doctor most certainly didn't think ALS, as if he thought that you'd have been referred onwards to a neurologist !

  3. #3

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me! It really means a lot! Yep I had zero of these symptoms until the Bells Palsy attack that set me off. I have had HA since about 5 years old, and I had a good run where I havenít had a spiral for about 7 years. Unfortunately the Zoloft Iím on isnít helping as much as it used to. It makes me feel a little better to know one of your toes doesnít curl the same as the one on the opposite side. I hate that notice every little thing about my body.

    And I did see a neurologist for my Bellís Palsy, and he did the strength tests, checked my balance and reflexes. I had a brain MRI that came back fine, but I know that wouldnít show anyway if I had ALS.

  4. #4

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    I also have a toe that doesnít go all the way down. Iíve been, and kinda still am, in the ALS rabbit hole and itís honestly the worst because so many of the symptoms can be interpreted in so many different ways. I just went to the neurologist for a 6 months revisit and they said everything was completely normal: strength, reflexes, no atrophy etc. and I still asked for peace of mind can I get an emg, and she flat out said no lol. More power to her as well for not giving in. I also have what I think are tongue issues when swallowing saliva, but as cary said, itís like the number one anxiety symptom, with number two probably being those twitches we all have. Itís when you start thinking about it that it becomes harder to do because your body is not used to having to think about it, you just sub consciously do it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    5,905

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    And I did see a neurologist for my Bell’s Palsy, and he did the strength tests, checked my balance and reflexes.
    Then, you are checked by a professional- and don't have ALS. Its really that simple )

  6. #6

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    Hi
    I'm with you in the health anxiety!!
    November I started muscle twitching, and more recently my right hand and thumb doesn't feel right!!
    I have multiple sclerosis and had an appointment with my neurologist end of January and told him how concerned I was about the twitching, he examined me and said no need to be concerned, but the wrist has started since I saw him which has me worried. Also the swallowing thing is awful for me!! I've had weeks of excessive swallowing, it went away last week and came back yesterday, only when my brain thought 'oh you haven't done that for a while'!!
    Health anxiety sucks, I hope you can be a bit more reassured.
    Take care

  7. #7

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    Thank you all for taking the time to calm me! I appreciate it so much, and Iím glad Iím not the only one experiencing these symptoms. Iím glad Iíve found this forum with people who understand how terrible health anxiety is. And yes, I had my swallowing ďproblemĒ go away for multiple days to when I wasnít thinking about it. I just need to remind myself if we had something terrible our symptoms wouldnít just come and go.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    189

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    Quote Originally Posted by wishiwasfree View Post
    Thank you all for taking the time to calm me! I appreciate it so much, and Iím glad Iím not the only one experiencing these symptoms. Iím glad Iíve found this forum with people who understand how terrible health anxiety is. And yes, I had my swallowing ďproblemĒ go away for multiple days to when I wasnít thinking about it. I just need to remind myself if we had something terrible our symptoms wouldnít just come and go.
    I just wanted to let you know I am exactly on the same page as you with regards to this fear that itís taken up pretty much a year and a half of my life . I really hope you can beat it before you get to my stage As I constantly look back in regret . Iíve had this perceived swallowing problem for 6 months and twitching for 15 months - again comes and goes and not a coincidence when I am more anxious and allow my thoughts to get the better of me! For the record Iím still here with no weakness or speech problems yet !

    I really hope you feel better soon and I am always here if you need a chat - the lovely people on this forum have really helped me on some of my darkest days

    Hope you are okay!

  9. #9

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    I made the mistake of googling muscle atrophy and now Iím convinced I have it on my left side. Iím so tired of living my life in a blind panic :( my left arm still feels weak-ish and kind of aches. I havenít actually lost any strength. My husband says itís because I carry our 22lb 8 month old on that side, but wouldnít I be getting stronger and not weaker?!

  10. #10

    Re: So scared I canít stop crying

    Since yesterday I feel like I have a muscle spasm in my throat, back of my tongue and itís making it hard to talk. Iím so scared this is a bulbar symptom. Iím shaking from fear. I was up in the middle of the night for 2 1/2 from anxiety because I was woken from sleep twice with a shooting pain in my throat. My neurologist appointment isnít for another month. I canít keep living like this 😢

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