Just looking for a bit of reassurance and for someone to talk to some sense into me.
I know my anxiety is very high lately and I will jump to the worst case scenario straight away. And it's not just health issues I'm doing this with, it can be anything and I will automatically think the absolute worst. I feel I'm in a downward spiral and I don't know how to stop it at the moment.
It's another health worry for me tonight. I rubbed my hand along my stomach, the right side of it, just under my ribs. And of course I thought I felt a lump or something. So I've been feeling around on my stomach, both on the left and right side. There's definitely a little lumpy thing in there, smaller than a pea. It's not rock hard or anything. But there's lots of lumpy things down a bit lower, on both sides. But this one that I can feel is just slightly more prominent than the others. And it seems to be the highest up (slightly below my ribs). I felt my left side around the same area and I can't feel anything there. My left side seems to be a bit less lumpy overall.
Deep down there's a voice telling me that this is nothing. It's just part of my anatomy,nothing to worry about. But it's the HA voice is the one screaming at me. I'm desperately trying to rationalise this but the HA is winning.
I really want to turn this around. I want to not freak out at every little lump and bump I find. Because I've found many lumps in the past, went running to the doctor only to be told everything is fine.
I remember reading somewhere before that if something is really wrong then your body will let you know. If you go poking for lumps and bumps then you will find them. But of course with the HA mind, I'm thinking I want to find whatever it is before it gets too serious. Any rational words would really be appreciated - I'm feeling so hopeless at the moment.
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