feeling hopeless

[josephine]

Hi everyone,I am not feeling great at the moment and wanted to come on here where i know there are people that understand. I feel so alone with this anxiety that i sometimes feel there is no hope for me . I cant cope and i know i will never have a normal life. just a continual fight.I suffer from general and social phobia. I am just an anxious person. Yesterday i ahd to go to a meeting at my sons new school. It was my worst nightmare. A small, hot room with bright lights, and we had to mingle with other parents and get to know them. i had taken an atenolol before i went, so felt spacey and horrible. My husband said my pupils had dialated and i looked stoned. We had to listen to an hour and a half talk, and all i wanted to do was get out of there. I didnt concentrate on what they were saying and felt so anxoius. One of the mums i have just met came over to me and i went bright red and i couldnt hide it. The self loathing i have for myself is indescribable. I cant even manage a small thing like this.i came home and told my mum and she says that i will have to get used to it as there will be lots of things like this at my sons new school. I feel that i will let my son down.My husband and mum think i should learn to live with it or get over it. I can do neither. My dr has no answers and seems more concerned with blood pressur and cholestral than mental health issues.I am on atenolol at the moment which makes me feel bad, and i think gives me mood swings and depression. I have been on propanolol, and i think it made my hair fall out. Does anyone else feel like me and can recommend different meds or just advice. I have no one to talk to in the world who understands and dont know what to do next. I lay in bed last night and thought i had three options, live with it, lock myself away or jump of a cliff. I dont like any of them but i hate living in fear like this too.Sorry to go on,Thanks for listening,Josephine.x

[valatpaws]

Josephine.
We have all felt hopeless. 4 weeks ago i felt the same. I am lucky that i have a husband that understands but i have had no help from the doctors. 4 weeks ago when i was feeling soooo bad he told me he would send a mental health worker out to see me. Result-----she phoned me and said she could see me in 3 weeks---- dah that was a great help i needed help then. I think you will find this site good. You will know you are not alone and read the articles at the side about ways to cope they are great!!!! Take little steps and congratulate yourself when you do something no matter how small. You are a good and wonderfull person and dont loose site of that. You will get to a stage where you are better than this. Hold on

[strawberrie]

hi josephine, i'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I havent really got any practical advice for you, but i can totally relate to the living in fear so please dont feel that you are alone in this because so many others feel like this too. A lot of people seem to find the whole school thing very difficult (i went to hypnotherapy to try and deal with my anxiety over the school run), but just because you are finding school meetings etc. very difficult, you're not letting your son down. I used to dread my kids getting party invites because i was so scared of having to take them there.

Your doctor doesnt sound very understanding, could you maybe find someone else who actually listens to you, and they might be able to suggest different meds that don't give you side effects.

things will get better and you will get a lot of support here from people who understand.

take care
mag

[groovygranny]

Hi Josephine,

You are having a rotten time aren't you? I can really relate to all you're going through.

But, if you can, look at the one positive thing that came out of that awful meeting - you stayed, even though it was very difficult and you were suffering.

You must give yourself credit where it's due, as the little positives are so overshadowed sometimes by the big black clouds that hover over us.

Please, don't feel alone - there is hope, there is always hope.

PM or email me if you would like to chat ok?

big hugs for you

[CliveL]

You are probably anxious because of what you expected to happen, but you got through it. The next time will be easier. I was struggling going into shops recently, but by going shopping for 1 thing daily I am now nowhere near as bad.

[bluesparkle]

hi josephine...
well that is a post i could have written myself except... i would avoid going with any excuse
so you did really really well to stay it doesnt matter that you werent concentrating what matters is that you were there.
i have four children and have missed so much of there things at school , but it does get easier over the last few years i have gradually pushed my self to go and it has and probably never will be easy but it will get better. once youve done it like last night put a posative thought in your mind "i went i stayed nothing bad happened" and push those bad thoughts of "i couldnt concentrate" out.
hang on in there you are doing fine
rach

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Josephine

Despite all your anxieties, you stayed in that room. That's one small thing to congratulate yourself for. In fact, it's a big thing and you should give yourself a pat on the back.

None of us like to live in fear and you are not alone. Maybe it was just a setback? The fact that you have a husband and son indicates that you have achieved a great deal and can go on to achieve more.

Sorry, I can't recommend different meds or advice. I wouldn't like to tell you what to do but simply offer encouragement and try to reawaken some hope for the future.

You won't always feel like this.

All the best

[little mutt]

Hi..... I know how you feel about the school meeting, I was exactly the same a couple of years ago. To get over this I used to try to get someone to go with me either my mum or my husband. I would get there early and sit at the back or as close to the exit as possible and I would make sure that I always sat on the end of the row so I could escape if I needed to. I am much better now and can go by myself but I still always make sure that I can get out easily if I get anxious. It will get easier.

karen x

[Nicki22]

hiya try keep ya chin up and well done for staying at the meeting
i know what it feels like to feel trapped im getting help for it and taking little steps all helps hun x
tc xx

[Bill]

Hello there,

I hate to say this because I know we need "something" to help but I do feel sometimes that meds create more problems than they actually solve.

I found my anxiety was much worse when I was on them. How they made me feel just made my anxiety worse. How can feeling spacey and horrible help you feel relaxed?

I'm sorry saying that because I know how anxiety makes us feel.

They tried virtually every med on me and I went along with them thinking it was the only way to cope but like I say, I just felt worse. The also make you dependant because you feel you can't survive without them and in doing so I almost feel somtimes they trap you within your anxiety.

I know some people won't agree with this because they find them help and I'm not knocking that. I just feel if you can find a way to cope without them, it's better in the long run.

It's very difficult to relax in a situation like that, not only Because of the situation but how you're feeling inside before you get there.

When I feel anxious like that, I just say I need the bathroom. Take some deep breaths, re-charge and try again. Doesn't matter how many breaks you take! Concentrate on breathing and distract the mind away from the situation. Get into deep conversation about something you really enjoy. NEVER give up though because there's always a way to cope and people who understand.