lymph node anxiety

[hopegirl]

I developed a habit of poking and feeling my neck for my lymph nodes, and I did it every hour, every day for over two months. I haven’t poked for three days now, and while my anxiety has subsided somewhat without the constant prodding, the worry is still there. None of my family are concerned about the node, they are concerned about my mental health (frankly, so am I). I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve had this palpable node for over 4 years, it hasn’t changed, it isn’t visibly noticeable (Unless I crane my neck in awkward angles), lots of people I’ve spoken to also have a node here and there that they can feel. Over the phone, the doctor didn’t seem concerned and reminded me that my blood tests from the month before were all clear.

One of my current lingering thoughts is that the doctor told me to monitor the node and to come back if it gets bigger. How do I monitor the size without getting back into the habit that I’m trying to break? How do I move forward from this?

I still think I will see my GP in person when the surgery reopens. I’m so, so tired of this worry, it’s taken over my life, I can barely function.

[Fishmanpa]

One of my current lingering thoughts is that the doctor told me to monitor the node and to come back if it gets bigger. How do I monitor the size without getting back into the habit that I’m trying to break? How do I move forward from this?

I still think I will see my GP in person when the surgery reopens. I’m so, so tired of this worry, it’s taken over my life, I can barely function.

But you have monitored it constantly for months and nothing has changed Its time, as you said yourself, to stop self-checking. I think its wise to discuss your mental health with your doctor. That would be the way to move forward.

Positive thoughts

[hopegirl]

Thank you for the reply, FMP. As soon as I’m able to I will talk to the GP, about the lymph node but focusing on the stress and anxiety that is has caused me. Hopefully he’ll be able to address it and give me some help, as he has been dismissive in the past. I just can’t believe how health anxiety has taken over my life, I feel so detached from the person I was before this started happening. I’m hopeful that I can move on from this, though. Thanks again

[hopegirl]

Thought I’d give an update in case anyone comes across this in the future. Went to the doctor this morning who felt my lymph node, thoroughly checking my neck, and he said he’s not concerned in the slightest. We spoke about my mental health and he has referred me for counselling. Again, thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to me on this thread in a time of need for me. Feeling hopeful!

[Fishmanpa]

Thought I’d give an update in case anyone comes across this in the future. Went to the doctor this morning who felt my lymph node, thoroughly checking my neck, and he said he’s not concerned in the slightest. We spoke about my mental health and he has referred me for counselling. Again, thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to me on this thread in a time of need for me. Feeling hopeful!

Well done! BTW.... "Told Ya So!"

Positive thoughts

[hopegirl]

Well, I never thought I'd be back here again, but here we are. The other day I found a lymph node under my collarbone and immediately spiralled in the same way I did last year. The node is tiny, maybe the size of a grain of rice or a pea, squishy and moveable, so logically I know that it's just a regular lymph node and I can probably feel it because I'm so skinny. I have already booked myself in for counselling again (starting next week) just to nip this in the bud before it becomes a bigger problem. And even though the rational part of me knows that the lymph node is normal, I can't stop worrying about it. From all my googling last year I know that collarbone nodes are more likely to be malignant. Can anyone else here feel a lymph node around their collarbone? I don't even think it's swollen, just palpable. Trying my best to be reasonable about this!

[NancyW]

I don't even think it's swollen, just palpable.

Aren't lumps and bumps horrid for HA? Thing is lymph nodes are a normal part of our anatomy and they are literally little lumps that should be there. If we feel around enough we will find them.

My younger son had a string of visible nodes on his neck when he was little, my HA spiral was hortific. He's 27 now I can still see them when he turns his head.

Lymph nodes have a poor drainage system, they can enlarge for next to nothing and take for ever to go down. They can also scar and never go away.

I may hate them more than you, but we need them to protect us. I am glad you can feel the lymph nodes in your neck and under your collarbone, it means you're normal and have a functioning lymphatic system.

[Londonlady]

I have the same colar bone lymph node I posted about it a couple months ago, wish I'd never googled! Just wanted to sympathise as I'm going through the same lately

[Minimoonshine]

Eugh! I can so identify.. I noticed a collar bone node a few days ago... it's hard to tell the size, but it's sore, which is why I noticed it.. went down the Google rabbit hole of course and ended up reading all the horror stories about collar bone nodes and cancers etc.. also it's on the left which is apparently worse... anyway I went into complete panic mode.
After all this I then read about some people who had just had the covid vaccine getting swollen nodes in their collarbone and under arms.. it has prompted more doctor visits and there's a few articles now warning people to not worry if they get this after the vaccine... it's apparently a natural reaction. Anyway I had recieved my vaccine 2 days before I noticed the node, so it gave me slight relief.. BUT I'm in and out of panic about it, because I DO have night sweats and fatigue... although I am in perimenopause, which can cause both... so can anxiety... Also, I started questioning if it had been there longer than I thought.. had I felt it before but not looked it up so had forgotten about it?!
Anyway, my point is, I totally understood your fear and it doesn't even seem to matter that there is most likely a perfectly harmless explanation.. the real issue here is the HA and how this constant worry is just all consuming... so HUGS.
PS: Please don't think if you haven't had the vaccine, it must mean the worst... from the sounds of so many posts on here re nodes.. they are up and down a lot.. and I am still worrying even with the vaccine, cos I have the other symptoms... I've decided I'm going to keep an eye on it and if it hasn't gone down in the next week, then I'll contact gp... which scares the shit out of me...