I developed a habit of poking and feeling my neck for my lymph nodes, and I did it every hour, every day for over two months. I haven’t poked for three days now, and while my anxiety has subsided somewhat without the constant prodding, the worry is still there. None of my family are concerned about the node, they are concerned about my mental health (frankly, so am I). I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve had this palpable node for over 4 years, it hasn’t changed, it isn’t visibly noticeable (Unless I crane my neck in awkward angles), lots of people I’ve spoken to also have a node here and there that they can feel. Over the phone, the doctor didn’t seem concerned and reminded me that my blood tests from the month before were all clear.
One of my current lingering thoughts is that the doctor told me to monitor the node and to come back if it gets bigger. How do I monitor the size without getting back into the habit that I’m trying to break? How do I move forward from this?
I still think I will see my GP in person when the surgery reopens. I’m so, so tired of this worry, it’s taken over my life, I can barely function.