Hemorrhoid?

[Honeynut]

I suffer from ulcerative colitis and had a pretty bad flare up lately where I was going to the bathroom up to 20 times a day. A lump formed and has gotten a lot bigger very quickly to the point of looking like I have a grape attached to me. It’s incredibly painful and no cream is easing the discomfort or making it shrink. I’m trying not to panic about it and tell myself it’s a hemorrhoid but I can’t shake the anxiety of it being something serious (I have major cancer anxiety). I called up my doctors but due to the current situation, they aren’t seeing patients and I can’t get it examined. I’ve never had a hemorrhoid this big or painful before, it’s causing an intense amount of pressure and aching down below. I panic googled and saw things about getting clots in them and stuff but I’m just wondering if it’s normal for them to be as painful as this one is? I cannot ignore it at all.

[BlueIris]

It sounds as though it's a thrombosed external haemorrhoid, I had one once and it hurt like nothing on earth. It burst eventually, though, and the relief was absolute bliss.

Stay brave, wait it out, and take hot baths if you need to. I wouldn't be worried in your position, just sore and grumpy