Blood when I wiped, I'm terrified

[BrokenGirl]

My anxiety is so bad now I don't know what to do. My job officially came to an end on Monday and it really hurt me - I've been very down since.
But this morning, after my bowel movement, there was blood on the tissue. And it wasn't just a speck, maybe a blob the size of my fingertip, roughly. I'm so scared now. It was in the first wipe I saw it, and I wiped several times after that but I couldn't see any, which makes me think it's not a cut or something down there. I also didn't strain when going to the toilet, or I don't suffer from IBS.
I really feel like giving up at this stage, I'm so sick of worrying every single day. I'm in a bad state now over this and I don't know what to do. I'm really frightened.....

[nomorepanic]

Usually caused by piles or a fissure.

Are you 100% sure it was blood?

[BrokenGirl]

Usually caused by piles or a fissure.

Are you 100% sure it was blood?

About 99.99% sure. I examined it thoroughly. There was some other stuff with it on the tissue (sorry, don't want to be too gross here), so I'm not even sure if it was mixed in with my poo. And it was only on the first wipe.
I did check in the toilet bowl after and couldn't see any blood.
Of course I'm thinking that if it was a cut or pile, surely there would have been a trace of it on the tissue when I wiped again?

[Chick100]

Aww bless you. Can you ring your doctor to put your mind at rest. Could it have been a lump of tomato ? I hope you feel better soon.

[nomorepanic]

Are you sure it wasn't food?

[BrokenGirl]

I'm fairly certain it wasn't food. That has happened me many times before, but when I examine a bit closer it becomes obvious it's food. Usually there might be a bit of skin there, especially if it was a tomato or a red pepper, and it would be easy to move it around on the tissue. There was no moving what I saw this morning. It was just a blob, no skin or piece of food with it.


And I don't really want to go ringing the doctor, not today anyway. I know the doctors are up the walls at the moment, because I had to ring yesterday just to get a repeat prescription and there was a long message on the phone about how they don't want people going to the surgery at the moment. If you need to speak to a doctor they will ring you back and take it from there.

[nomorepanic]

I really wouldn't worry about it at the moment - watch and see what happens.

[MRS STRESS ED]

I really wouldn't worry about it at the moment - watch and see what happens.

l totally agree I'm sure you'll be fine

best wishes

[BrokenGirl]

I really hope you're right, that's it's just piles or a cut. And I was starting to work on my anxiety over the past few hours, trying to rationalise and think of all the innocent things it could be rather than something sinister. And I think I was doing ok - well ok for me anyway, until I received a message on my phone a while ago.
It was from my boss (ex boss now as I don't work there anymore). He was letting me know that one of my work colleagues passed away today. I'm so upset and devastated over this. It seemed to come out of nowhere.
He did have cancer (bowel cancer, the one I am fearing at the moment) but did his treatment and was given the all clear about a year ago.
I can even remember congratulating him at work one day, when he was given the all clear.

It's just put my anxiety through the roof again, and I still can't believe what's happened. Life can be so cruel

[BrokenGirl]

I've been very scared and on edge the last few days, dreading going to the toilet.
I think it's been ok, but I got my period on Thursday and as they are quite heavy it can be difficult to tell where the blood is coming from (sorry if that's tmi for the men)

I went this morning, was not sure about it after the first wipe but convinced myself it was my period. A few more wipes and I was happy enough, that there was no blood there. But what happened next is going around in my head and worrying me - I stood up for a minute but then decided I would check once more before I finished. When I looked at the tissue there was a tiny blood clot on it. It was fairly small, nowhere near the size of a pea or anything like that. I'm trying not to sound too disgusting here, but the part of the tissue that would have touched against my anus, it wasn't exactly on that part of the tissue, it was very slightly above it. I just don't understand where it came from, as the couple of wipes before that there was nothing there. Could it possibly have been that when I stood up a small piece of period blood just moved around? I'm terrified it came out of my anus but trying to be logical and tell myself that something like that couldn't just fall out of there. Surely the tissue would have caught it in the previous wipes?
I'm sorry if this sounds awful to read but I'm so worried about it. My anxiety is getting out of control the past few weeks. I'm waking up worried and staying that way for the day. It's like I'm at a complete loss now and I don't know what to do anymore....