Found tiny lump in breast

[BrokenGirl]

Like many people here, my anxiety has been very high since lockdown. I gave my breasts their monthly check about 2 days ago and I was reasonably happy. But I checked them again last night and I found a small lump in my left breast. I couldn't sleep all night worrying about it. It's not like any other lump I have, but it is quite small. The size of the tip of a pencil or a pen.
The fact that it is so small is really worrying me, could it be the start of a sinister lump.
I don't even know if my doctor will see me due to lockdown but I can't even ring until Tuesday as it's a bank holiday here this weekend.
I'm so scared right now, wish I hadn't checked them again last night :(

[BrokenGirl]

I'm so scared right now. It seems to be a bit bigger than what I described above - maybe a quarter size of a pea.
It's also quite hard and I can't seem to move it. When I rub my fingers along my breast, using the flat part and not the fingertips, it's very easy to feel it.
I'm going out of my mind with worry here, I just have such a bad feeling about this.
I've had breast lump scares in the past but this one feels different.
It's been about 12 months now since my last mammogram

[Fishmanpa]

Perhaps working on the downloads for CBT is in order?

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

Perhaps working on the downloads for CBT is in order?

Positive thoughts

I have started working on them over the past few days.
I'm trying so hard to put what i've read so far into practice - so far everything bad is only a thought in my head. Nothing has been confirmed and there are other possible outcomes apart from the worst case scenario.
But I am struggling.
While those downloads look very promising, I didn't think I'd be put to the test so soon into it

[Fishmanpa]

You said you checked and everything was Ok. Obviously, you're poking and prodding and feeding the dragon. The "test" is you logging off and working on the course instead of continuing blatant HA behaviors and reassurance seeking but the bottom line is it comes down to you. Youasked for advice, got it and now its up to you to act on it.

Hope you feel better mentally soon.

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

You said you checked and everything was Ok. Obviously, you're poking and prodding and feeding the dragon. The "test" is you logging off and working on the course instead of continuing blatant HA behaviors and reassurance seeking but the bottom line is it comes down to you. Youasked for advice, got it and now its up to you to act on it.

Hope you feel better mentally soon.

Positive thoughts

I know I said I checked them a few days ago, but deep down I wasn't happy that I checked them properly. And I know that sounds like my anxiety talking, but I was after getting myself into a state before I even checked them, terrified I'd find something. So I was really afraid to take my time and check them thoroughly.


There is something there, I can't argue with that or say that my anxiety is causing it. Anxiety doesn't cause lumps.
And while I know I have a LOT of work to do on my HA, surely the right thing to do here is to contact my doctor next week and keep working on the downloads?


I'm also thinking that if she tells me to go in I'll talk to her about my anxiety and the possibility of medication, as I can't fight this anymore on my own. I know I need help, and as much as I don't want to use medication, perhaps a few months of it will help set me on the right path?

[BrokenGirl]

I'm so worried about this lump. Even though it's small, it's very hard and I can't move it. I'm struggling to calm myself down. Tuesday seems so far away. And even at that I don't know if I'll get to see a doctor then.
But what's really scaring me is that all breast check clinics are cancelled here, so even if the doctor does refer me, I won't be able to get a mammogram. Covid really has messed up so much. I feel I'm at such a loss right now :(

[Pearly queen]

I'm so worried about this lump. Even though it's small, it's very hard and I can't move it. I'm struggling to calm myself down. Tuesday seems so far away. And even at that I don't know if I'll get to see a doctor then.
But what's really scaring me is that all breast check clinics are cancelled here, so even if the doctor does refer me, I won't be able to get a mammogram. Covid really has messed up so much. I feel I'm at such a loss right now :(

I can't tell you what you feel is or isn't sinister but I know the feeling of panic over health issues, especially now. I would say don't keep checking the area as you may be causing bruising. Try to accept the worry as normal and real but don't let it take over. Have a plan of action for Tuesday to see your doctor and take it from there. I really wish I could be more comfort. I hope your doctor can give you some reassuance. Maybe there is a helpline you could call whilst you are waiting. Please let us know how you get on.

[BrokenGirl]

I can't tell you what you feel is or isn't sinister but I know the feeling of panic over health issues, especially now. I would say don't keep checking the area as you may be causing bruising. Try to accept the worry as normal and real but don't let it take over. Have a plan of action for Tuesday to see your doctor and take it from there. I really wish I could be more comfort. I hope your doctor can give you some reassuance. Maybe there is a helpline you could call whilst you are waiting. Please let us know how you get on.

Thank you Pearly Queen. I am doing my best to not let the worry take over, but it's so bloody hard.
I actually think the lump feels a bit bigger than what it did 2 days ago when I first noticed it. I'm not sure though. When it comes to my HA I never know what's normal for me or if something is changing or not.
I'm trying to tell myself that whatever will happen will happen and worrying won't change anything, but as we all know that's easier said than done.
I hate feeling like this, can't believe I'm back to this level of worry again. And not knowing if I can even see a doctor and what would happen after that is so tormenting.

[Fishmanpa]

Perhaps by taking a look BACK in your history would shed some light? What is your track record on your fears?

Positive thoughts