Depression & anxiety not getting better

[panicdiva]

I've been off my work for 6 wks now with an "anxiety state" (docs words on my sick line).

I have been going to a local support group which has been helping.

Have been given prozac by doc (but have to admit I am not taking them - as I am petrified that I will become too dependant on them)

Some days I feel ok, others, like today I feel so...... well angry, so tired, so locked in my own head!!!!!!!!

This all started 9 long yrs ago, I still am the same, still can't go on trains, on motorways or planes, still, still, still. I read loads, talk loads to those who understand, try lots of ideas, try to be positive (and sometimes am), but yet I am still here, still in this same place.

I don't know how to let it all go, I just don't know. Lots of people say you can get better, sometimes I believe it, sometimes I don't.

Don't know how I am going to face going back to work soon, but feel that I'm hiding & this is not helping. (although work has been pretty bad - one of the reasons I was feeling so depressed again.)

Just feeling low today, sorry for ranting.

[Pink Panic]

Hi Panic Diva (Love the name)

I can identify with what you say, I have been like this for 3 years now and previously had an episode 13 years ago which left me virtually anxiety free till this all reared it's ugly head again!

I too have avoided meds mainly due to the fear of side effects and dependency.
At the mo I am also attending a Support Group and due to start a Self Esteem Course with the local Psych day unit next week.

Like you I too have good days then others are utter rubbish. I do believe recovery is possible as I achieved it 13 years ago but this time the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be harder to see.
I saw the Psychiatrist last week and he said my progess is good and there is no reason to believe that things will go back but sometimes I feel so frustrated that I can't cope with going out on my own yet or that I can't just decide to get up and go shopping on the train or book a holiday!!

I'm sorry you are feeling low and I hope things improve for you real soon. Prob best not to put pressure on yourself by worrying about your work and try to concentrate on getting yourself better. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you hun.

Take care
Pink
x

[sal]

Never apologise for ranting because you havent hun. Ive been where you are and felt just like you at the time. Saw no light, i havent been on the site for about 5 months because i let someone that didnt approve dictate to me, but when we are vunerable we take what we are given. Trust me it does get better, i never believed it would, i was at the bottom and thought i could go lower, but it does get easier and it is something we can get through and god i know at the time we honestly believe we cant.