Hi everyone! I wanted to ask your opinions about something that has been bothering me for a very long time.
So, I've been having some issues down there. I could even say that I am in quite a complicated relationship with my vagina. The problems started when I tried to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time many years ago. I experienced a very sharp pain, so we stopped. We tried a few more times, but it didn't work. It was as if I had some sort of a wall that was preventing him from going inside. Naturally, I started feeling very anxious and developed a huge fear of the pain. I felt traumatised from that experience and so we soon stopped trying to have "real sex" (it's a bad term, but I don't know what else to call it. By this I mean sex with penetration). Ever since then, I've been experiencing weird sensations in my vagina. Sometimes it stings, sometimes it just feels overly sensitive.
I have seen a few gynecologists, but as soon as they found out that I'm still a virgin, they sort of lose interest in me because they can't really give me a thorough examination. A few of those doctors tried to take a more careful look at me and said that physically, everything seems to be OK and suggested that my issues are psychological.
Sometimes I also feel a sharp pain in my lower abdomen and some doctors suspected endometriosis, but of course, they couldn't check it out properly, so that diagnosis is still just a theory.
Fast forward to now. My boyfriend and I had broken up. I have been using some vaginal dilators and the situation seems to be getting better slowly, though I am still far from being able to have "real sex". Also, the stinging sensations in my vagina have reduced a lot, but I still experience "sensitive days" from time to time.
The thing I have been worrying about most is cervical cancer. My family doctor (who doesn't know that I am still a virgin) suggested that I get a pap smear. And I really want to do it, because I am really scared of cancer and if something really was wrong, I want it to be detected as soon as possible. But, I feel like I am unable go undergo this procedure due to my condition.
The problem is, even though I haven't had "real sex", my boyfriend and I had done something that I now regret. I was taking birth control pills for about a year, and during that time we had rubbed our genitals for a few times while making out. I fear that during those times, he could have transmitted HPV onto me. And that was 3 years ago. If I understand correctly, you have to have the pap smear every 3 years, because that's how long it takes for the cancer to develop, is that right? And that's why I'm panicking right now. Every sting and weird sensation now feels like it could be cancer. I feel like I'm long overdue and I feel a tremendous pressure to hurry up with my dilators, so I can get a proper gynecological exam and also a pap smear.
Like I said, I am working on everything and I will definitely see a doctor about it, but I was wondering if you guys could comfort me a little until I am able to do that.
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