hi everyone, i feel dissapointed and exhausted.

this morning, after i had gotten out of the shower i could feel a small twinge like feeling in my heart/chest. my muscles started to tense up and my anxiety started to rise. i tried not to pay any mind to it and carry on, but the feelings became more and more overwhelming and the thoughts started to spill. i went outside to calm myself down, trying to ride the waves as they came, and it worked until i tried to run and burn some of the adrenaline off. i came back inside and walked around the house for a little bit and then the lightheadedness/dizziness came on and i felt like i was going to black out, my heart literally RACING, faster than i remember it ever being during other panic episodes, there was a tightness around my ribcage muscles that was intense, it felt like my lungs were about to collapse/had already done so, there was a point where i literally couldnt breathe and i was basically gasping for air and hyperventilating, trying to get enough air into my lungs. i was scared to death that i was going to pass out. i was shaking like a leaf. it took a little while to slow my heart rate down and to finally calm down. im calm now, but exhausted. my muscles are sore and i feel like crap.

im going to make an appointment with a doctor tomorrow, hopefully. i've been doing so well and now i feel so drained. my brain just cant shake the feeling that this isnt anxiety and this could be something more sinister. it feels the same but some things are just a little different every time. the feeling is the same...