Symptoms

[Leon82]

Hi,

New here. Been suffering with anxiety and depression for over a decade, with a fair amount of HA in there too. I’ve gone up to 40mg citalopram in the last week as I’ve been struggling to get out of bed. I’ve convinced myself I have multiple sclerosis or chronic fatigue syndrome. To the point that I’ve thought about death as a way out. I haven’t planned anything but just thoughts of it being a way out.

I started feeling weird in March, feeling really rough, maybe it was a bit of a bug. But noticed I’d been feeling tired all the time Since Christmas, lack of energy, aches etc. I have a busy life with a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old. Running has really helped me over the last year and I was supposed to do the marathon in April but it was cancelled. I go to bed early most nights but I always notice I need a nap in the day as I’m so tired. This isn’t normal, I thought exercise was supposed to give you more energy. Anyway I went to the doctors who basically said it’s your depression. I drink every night to relax, not loads but like 3 beers. This tiredness makes me anxious and I’m in a cycle of fear at the moment. First thing I do when I eventually get up Is google Chronic fatigue syndrome or MS. It’s like there’s this thing hanging over me that’s going to take my life away. Ultimate fears are the fact I’m gonna end up losing my family, and be bed bound with one of these horrific illnesses. I do meditate most days, practice deep breathing. I’m not looking for answers, just voicing my thoughts. It’s full on at the moment in lockdown being stuck in everyday trying to entertain the little one’s, and chore after chore. I run most days as it gives me a buzz. Kids had me up at 5 am today... :(

Just can’t keep going on with this fear. Maybe going up on meds will take the edge off. Doctor has said I should try therapy again. I’ve had one session. It was fine. Anyway sorry for the rant.

Have a good day people

[BlueIris]

Okay, first things first: don't Google, it'll only make things worse.

Your doctor is right, depression does make you tired; mine's acting up right now and if I had the opportunity I'd basically hibernate. It's a pain in the backside, but it's one of those things I just have to live with. Also, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but 3 beers is a lot if that's what you're drinking every night. In any case, drinking to relax is essentially self-medication, which is another Very Bad Idea.

You need to be kind to yourself, but also to start taking measures to alleviate your mental health issues. Certainly, more than one session of therapy would be helpful. Remember, the cit's also going to make you more tired when you step your dose up - I'm on it myself and have usually been really grateful for the way it helps me sleep, but I don't have two children and I can't imagine how hard it must be for you.

Hang in there, but please don't fall down the Health Anxiety hole? The further you fall, the harder it is to claw your way back out again.

[Leon82]

Yeah I hear you. My mind and body are in overdrive at the moment. I need to try and keep ‘The fear’ at bay, the thought of it makes me feel terrible doom. I just wanna curl up like a baby. Thanks for taking the time to respond. Just been for a run so not feeling too bad. I’m
Gonna aim not to google any symptoms or look up my illness obsession today

[BlueIris]

Crossing everything for you!

You have so much more self-control than I do, I really need to get a bit more exercise.

[Leon82]

It sounds like you’ve really accepted your depression for what it is though, which is great. Re-exercise l...A good paced walk, or even a ten minute jog. Start really small.

[BlueIris]

This is the plan. I was walking for an hour or so after work, but then the depression really hit last week and a lot of things fell by the wayside. Hoping to go out again after work today.

[Leon82]

You’re doing well getting in to work, well done you. Hour walk is great. Do you find work helps in terms of structure. Im off due to covid

[BlueIris]

I'm actually working from home. I'm torn on it - I love being home with my husband and working at my comfy desk (with my cats!) but I do find myself getting distracted very easily. Then again, that happens at work, too I do enjoy having tasks to complete, though - I'm lucky that my job is fairly fulfilling.

[Leon82]

Ah well thatÂ’s great. Have a good day!

[Charlie1108]

Have you had your b12 checked? I was feeling like this and it turns out mine was low after pregnancy x