Platitudes

[Pamplemousse]

One of the worst examples of a platitude (and insult) was the Cameron "austerity" era mantra of:

"People who work hard and want to get on in life..."

Most people work hard simply to exist but this platitude was alluding and aspiring to some dream while austerity measures were ripping the heart out of the country.

I even doubt whether many Tory voters believed this barefaced rot

I agree with very little you say, but on that I am with you 100%.

[pulisa]

Now, here's something allied to that:

The Nocebo effect.

I just try not to expect too much of things then am not disappointed when they don't work out. If they do work out it's a bonus.

[Pamplemousse]

I just try not to expect too much of things then am not disappointed when they don't work out. If they do work out it's a bonus.

Now that has been the way I have treated things all my life; and the one time I was encouraged - nay, TOLD (by nursing staff) to show optimism around others - to wit, my late wife's treatment in hospital I believe has contributed to how I have been so heavily damaged by her death.

[pulisa]

You were right and justified to be angry in such tragic circumstances and anger can be so damaging for mental health. So can platitudes when doled out by MH/medical professionals to cover a lack of appropriate support/services.

I can imagine that you have carried around your anger for many years, Pamplemousse? I'm not going to mention therapy but does anything help to lessen the pain?

[AntsyVee]

Now that has been the way I have treated things all my life; and the one time I was encouraged - nay, TOLD (by nursing staff) to show optimism around others - to wit, my late wife's treatment in hospital I believe has contributed to how I have been so heavily damaged by her death.

That sucks, PM. I lost my best friend in 2014. I found his body, and I can't imagine how worse that would have been if those who were supposed to be helping treated me like that. I'm here if you need to talk.

[Pamplemousse]

You were right and justified to be angry in such tragic circumstances and anger can be so damaging for mental health. So can platitudes when doled out by MH/medical professionals to cover a lack of appropriate support/services.

I can imagine that you have carried around your anger for many years, Pamplemousse? I'm not going to mention therapy but does anything help to lessen the pain?

It has changed from anger to despair over the years. I did seek bereavement counselling which helped considerably - not least because I became suicidal a few months afterwards and was 'talked down' from it. About a year afterwards I considered suicide again but different circumstances prevailed this time which at first had me in a better headspace than I'd been in in many, many years but turned utterly toxic in due course and left me even more damaged.

There are triggers that still leave me utterly bereft.

[Pamplemousse]

That sucks, PM. I lost my best friend in 2014. I found his body, and I can't imagine how worse that would have been if those who were supposed to be helping treated me like that. I'm here if you need to talk.

Have you ever seen CPR being performed in a hospital setting, Vee? It's nothing like it is on the telly - it's brutal, it's violent. When you've seen your loved ones limbs flailing around like a rag doll being stamped upon and found yourself screaming and being dragged bodily from ICU by your brother and a nurse, it damages you deeply and on occasion, that image comes back. It's the last image in her life I have.

Am I f****d up? You bet. The worst bit is that I consider myself to blame for it, just as I hold myself responsible for my father's death some 30 years ago.

[BlueIris]

I don't know what to tell you other than that my heart goes out to you, I can't imagine how it must feel and I hope I never have to.

I know good wishes don't help, but I'm sending you all I have anyway.

[whispershadow]

Have you ever seen CPR being performed in a hospital setting, Vee? It's nothing like it is on the telly - it's brutal, it's violent. When you've seen your loved ones limbs flailing around like a rag doll being stamped upon and found yourself screaming and being dragged bodily from ICU by your brother and a nurse, it damages you deeply and on occasion, that image comes back. It's the last image in her life I have.

Am I f****d up? You bet. The worst bit is that I consider myself to blame for it, just as I hold myself responsible for my father's death some 30 years ago.

It was not your fault, PM