Worried about digestive issues, ha spiralling

[Librella]

Inanna, I completely understand about your cancer worries. Both of my parents had cancer, and my mother passed away from a rare form of cancer a short time after her diagnosis. I think that is why I blow health issues out of proportion. I agree with pulisa that you don't have much to worry about because you had the colonoscopy just last year, and the stool and blood tests should put your mind at ease.

[pulisa]

I completely understand why cancer terrifies..especially when it affects your closest blood relatives. I'm at the age when my Mother first developed it but all I can do is accept that it may happen to me and I will have to deal with it or it may not and I will have been very fortunate. There is no way of knowing and that's the way it is and will always be. I'll go to all my screenings but won't subject myself to unnecessary radiation due to HA. That's so counter productive and doesn't help anyone manage their fear of cancer.

I hope these tests help you, Inanna but I suspect you won't be entirely reassured by normal results. You said before that your sister was keeping her distance from you but I hope that things have got better now?

Losing both parents to cancer must have been terrifying for you, Librella.

[Inanna]

Hi Pulisa

No, I'm afraid my sister still doesn't speak to me. My nephew moved out, as he got a job in a different town. The day after he moved out, I got an envelope pushed through my door with just the word "rent" written on it, and a wad of cash inside. She will never acknowledge me, that was so hurtful. Even if the word "thanks" had been on that envelope, it would have been something. As it was, it was a way of paying me off, so they didn't have to be grateful, or acknowledge me (I gave the money to charity).

You are right of course, there is no way of knowing what the future holds, and aside from trying to live a healthy lifestyle, we have no control over it. The logic side of my brain knows that, but the limbic part overrides it.

Librella, that must have been so hard for you, and its absolutely understandable why you worry so much. My Dad also died of lung cancer 3.5 years ago, and its a horrible thing to watch your parents suffer like that.

Inanna xx

[pulisa]

Your sister's behaviours must really upset and sadden you but maybe it's her way of coping by pushing you away? She knows you have HA presumably so maybe she's being cruel to be kind? I've probably got it totally wrong but just an idea...

Yes it's all very well knowing the theory behind HA but coping with the emotional challenges can be just a bit more tricky!! It would be great if it were that easy but could you maybe look at what you said re the limbic part of your brain and view it not as a statement of fact but more as an obstacle to tackle rather than just accepting it?

[Inanna]

Hi pulisa

no, that’s not it. Things fell apart when my dad died three years ago, mostly due to her horrible husband. I told her that some of his behaviours upset me ( like him expecting to borrow my dads car less than 48 hours after dads death) and she got really angry , stormed off, and hasn’t spoken to me since.

when she got her diagnosis, I sent her a note saying how sorry I was to hear, and to let me know if I could do anything. She didn’t respond, just as she didn’t respond when I took her son in. I’ve done all I can, and the ball is in her court.

ha is really odd. Nearly all of my pains have gone now, probably because I now have the blood in poo to torment myself with. I keep telling myself “ what will be, will be”

thanks for posting, it really does help

Inanna xx

[pulisa]

Perceived blood...Wait for these results before writing yourself off? There are many more common reasons for blood in stools even if blood is detected but you won't be considering these of course.

That is so sad re your sister. You took in her son when you didn't have to and were treated very "clinically" with the rent money. You can't do any more. Her husband sounds horrible-I hope he can give her the support she wants and needs but it's very distressing for you as her sister.

I expect it will seem a long weekend..Have you got anything distracting to do? xx

[Inanna]

Hi pulisa

im feeling a bit calmer, I went to my boyfriends this weekend ( my bubble person) and did a lot of walking in the countryside.

i did the stool test, and posted it off, it will be 2 weeks TIL I get the results. Of course, HA being what it is, I’ve already panicked, worrying that I did the test wrong, and the results will not be accurate!

So, I’ve told myself there is no point in staring down the loo each day, as the test is done, and I’ll find out one way or another. Also, I had a bit of an appetite today, which is the first time in over a month.

i still have pain in my left ribs and side, but it’s not intense, so I’m hoping it means it’s not sinister, as I assume if it were a tumour, it would only get worse?

thank you so much for your posts, it really helps

Inanna

[pulisa]

I'm glad you had a bit of respite over the weekend. Also that you've got that test done and dusted. Of course you'll imagine the worst but you had a clear colonoscopy and other tests just a year ago which would be very reassuring for someone without HA and for any doctor looking at your symptoms now.

Maybe the walking stimulated your appetite..or the change of scenery and being with your boyfriend? Maybe you felt happier and more relaxed? It's good that you had a break from the worry xx

[Inanna]

thanks Pulisa

I just wish I knew. And then do that all the time. I woke up this morning with stomach pain, and have been having sharp pains in my ribs, zapping around, and also to my breasts. BM was loose too.

I did not eat that well yesterday (I am usually super healthy). I had a giant choc chip cookie, 4 slices of chocolate orange, tons of bread and a roast dinner. Maybe thats the reason

Thanks again Pulisa, I would send you a bunch of flowers if I could xxx

[BlueIris]

Ahh, yeah, that'll be gas pains from the bread. If they're sharp and they move, they're usually has. Really unpleasant, though.