Constantly in an anxious state!

[BrokenGirl]

My anxiety is not good lately, I'm definitely in a spiral. But while I'm feeling this way I'm also trying to figure out what's going on with my brain. It seems like my brain is, for now, stuck in a permanent anxiety state. If I'm worried about something (usually health related, but not always), as soon as I get the all clear and realise I don't have to worry about that any more, I don't feel relief like I used to. Straight away my mind starts looking for something else to worry about and won't stop until it finds something.


I got up this morning, wasn't worrying about anything but knew deep down that it was only a matter of time before I found something.
And of course I did. And I know on some level that what I'm worrying about now is ridiculous, but it's as if my brain has latched onto it and is saying to me that's something to worry about.


For the record, the latest worry is my daughter. She's 12 and is wearing a lightish summer top today. Her breasts have started to grow and whatever way I looked at her, it was as if I could kind of see through her top and it was darker around her nipple and areola on one breast(she wasn't wearing any bra today). For a minute I took no notice of it, but it's like my brain decided to use that as the newest thing to worry about. I know that nipples and areolas are darker than the rest of the breast. But should they be darker at her age? Mine aren't that dark - what if there's something wrong? And on and on the worry goes.....


I assume this is nothing to be concerned about, but please someone tell me if it is. I'm trying to apply logic, and I am using some tools I've learned recently, but was wondering if anyone else on here was or is this bad? Where it's just one thing after another, anxiety is constantly turned on. I really can't believe I'm after getting this bad.
I'm just starting to worry that I'll never get better

[Scass]

I suppose you’re not getting the relief because you’re so anxious at the moment. You have to help yourself through it every day & not just when you’re in the spiral.

Nipples are all different. Perhaps her hormones are causing a change or perhaps her nipples are just like that. She’s 12, she’s fine.


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[Lady123]

I am this bad!! One thing over and then I don’t feel right, I keep feeling urges to check random things until I latch onto something else. It’s awful.

[BrokenGirl]

Today has been a little better than yesterday - not worrying so much about my daughter, and every time I do start to worry I just say logical things to myself.

It's so difficult living with HA, or any kind of anxiety, depression or mental health issue.
I think it's so important to try to take it one day at a time, or even one hour at a time. Nobody knows what the future holds, and there's nothing anyone can do about that.
I keep telling myself that before I had HA, I never knew what tomorrow would bring but it didn't bother me. So why let it bother me now?

It was just nice to have a better day today than yesterday, and as you said Scass, I think it's important to work on it when you're feeling better. If you leave it all till you're in a spiral then it's too difficult......

[ErinKC]

My mom's therapist described anxiety as a bird and your worries as branches on a tree. The bird is just constantly flitting around looking for a new branch to land on. If one breaks it will find another. I'm not quite as nice because I've always thought of it as a parasite looking for a new host... I've been in these states and it's just awful. I hope you can break out if it! Sometimes I can get out of these myself, but sometimes I need a little Lorazepam to get me out of it. It just slows my brain down and stops some of that adrenaline so I can catch my breath.

[Elen]

Hi Could I ask that you keep all your posts to this thread, rather than open new threads.

I think that this post gives a great overview of how you are spiraling at the moment.

You have got over this before and you will do it again.

Take Care

Elen

[BrokenGirl]

Hi Could I ask that you keep all your posts to this thread, rather than open new threads.

I think that this post gives a great overview of how you are spiraling at the moment.

You have got over this before and you will do it again.

Take Care

Elen

Thanks Elen. You'd think I'd know better at this stage than to start a lot of new posts, I've been here long enough!!!!

I suppose on some level we feel that every new worry should get a new post, but I totally get on the other hand why we should keep everything in one thread.
Anyway, promise not to start any more new threads while I'm in this spiral

[BrokenGirl]

I know that anxiety can cause tiredness, but how exhausting can it actually be?
I'm feeling so drained and exhausted lately. Even after 7 or 8 or more hours sleep I struggle to get out of bed. Can hardly open my eyes for a while because they feel like they're burning. I have no energy and there are so many times throughout the day that I could just imagine myself crawling into bed and falling asleep. Can anxiety really make you THAT tired?

I do think I'm in a constant state of panic. As soon as one worry goes away, another one comes along very quickly. I'm not particularly worried about anything at the moment but I can nearly feel my brain scanning my body, and my life in general, looking for the next worry. I'm not expecting to get through the day without a new worry cropping up.

A good night's sleep, lying down for a while, trying to relax with a book, even coffee - nothing helps with the tiredness any more.
Can anxiety put you in a constant state of tiredness??

[BrokenGirl]

I had improved a bit over the last few days but this evening I'm as bad as ever again.

My anxiety is very high, my thoughts are racing and I just feel like I'm on the HA roller coaster again :(
This is probably more for the ladies, but when I was showering this evening and I was washing my lady parts I thought I felt a little bit of a bump/lump at the entrance of my vagina. I've checked it a few times since then and sometimes I can't really feel anything and sometimes I can. But whatever it is it's not a hard lump, it's softish. It's not sore or itchy or bleeding.
There's a voice in my head telling me it's absolutely nothing, might just be the way I am down there. After all, i have had a vaginal birth and needed some stitches after it, so surely things can't be perfect down there anymore!!
I feel as if my anxiety is latching onto this now, and trying to turn it into something that it's not. About twice in the last few hours my anxiety calmed down about it for a minute, but in that minute I felt ok about it and felt there's nothing wrong with me. But then the HA comes screaming at me again.
I'm so tired from this. I really think losing my job has destroyed me mentally. Working was such a distraction from my thoughts, but now all I have is me with my thoughts all day, and that's not a good thing for me....

[BrokenGirl]

I really hope someone replies to this because I'm struggling so much at the moment I don't know what to do anymore!!
I'm getting obsessed with what I think feels like a few lumps just inside my vagina. I ran to the bathroom today so many times to check it.
Yes there are a few bumpy things there but I'm almost certain they've been there for a long time, they don't feel hard, they actually feel the same as the rest of the skin there.
I'm usually so good with googling these days but I left my guard down this evening and googled vaginal cancer. I didn't read much but what I did read was that it is rare, in fact only about 10 or so cases occur in Ireland each year. I actually find it hard to believe it's so little. I suppose that's a good thing, but then the thoughts of what if I'm one of those rare cases.......
I can't seem to get out of this spiral. My anxiety is sky high, my mind is racing with awful thoughts and it's on my mind all the time now.
What do I do when I'm this bad? How do I snap out of it when I'm this bad?
Sorry for going on about it, but I don't think I've been this bad before and I'm feeling at a complete loss right now :(