Constantly in an anxious state!

[BrokenGirl]

I don't know what to do anymore. I can't take much more of this.
I'm so worried all day every day it's destroying me. I'm going around like a zombie because I'm so exhausted from being stressed.
This isn't living. I can't even remember what it's like to live somewhat normally.
Every lump, bump and other symptom is sending me deeper into a hole of despair.
My family deserve a proper mother and wife. I've let them down.
I'm so alone with this, it's too much for me.
I only ever wanted a normal(ish) life, and to be able to deal with the ups and downs like a normal person.
A lost cause is all that comes to mind now

[BrokenGirl]

I just made an appointment with the doctor. My usual doctor isn't there - she's off for the month of July. So I'll be seeing a new doctor who I've never seen before.
Yes, I'm going to mention the anal cancer worry I currently have. I just can't let it go. But then I'm going to talk about medication. Enough is enough. I can't go on like this for much longer.
I don't want to go on meds but I don't want to live like this either.
My appointment is 2:30 today and I'm so nervous. I wish it was my usual doctor, at least I could talk to her with a bit more comfort.
I'm terrified what she'll say about the anal cancer - will she think I'm crazy or will she refer me cause she thinks there's something wrong?
And then it's hard to pour your heart out to a stranger and tell her you need medication.
I hope I'm doing the right thing......