Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[LittleLionMan]

Had an EMDR session earlier, focussing on creating a better future, and then working through roadblocks that arise. The session went well, I drove to the shop again after, and now I feel awful this evening, constantly trying to evaluate and work stuff out, which I can't stop doing, and have been on the verge of a panic attack for 2 hours. Frustrating, scary stuff.

[ankietyjoe]

constantly trying to evaluate and work stuff out, which I can't stop doing

Well yes, you can.

Now is the time to introduce the concept of meditation.

[LittleLionMan]

I just can't cope with the relentlessness of it all.

I'm having a panic attack right now, over absolutely nothing. I'm so fed up with it, it's unreal.

[LittleLionMan]

I am really scared to meditate, because I think I would panic as soon as I started. I seem to be treading on eggshells with myself, like I'm constantly walking a tightrope, and I can't stop myself from falling.
I honestly didn't know it could all get this bad.

[ankietyjoe]

This is all about a fear of panic. Nothing else is 'wrong' here.

Once you learn to accept that it's just a sensation (like hunger, feeling hot, being horny etc) things will get a lot easier. It's the mental self chatter that panic HAS to be avoided at all costs that's the issue. You cannot avoid it, you cannot escape from it. So just accept it, right?

[LittleLionMan]

That's exactly right. It's doing everything I can to constantly avoid increasing my anxiety, and that becoming the main focal point of my day. It's actually the opposite to what my physiologist wants me to do, but I can't push on whilst my anxiety is so high because it's so horrible.
I slept amazingly last night, (8 1/2 hours! I was shattered last night), forced a sausage, bacon and egg sandwich down me earlier, and am just trying to concentrate on my work now.

I want to go for my run, but have a really bad stomach ache (which I never get), and my knees are hurting, so I'm going to see how they are in an hour or so.

It's trying to stop worrying about have a panic attack, when I'm so scared of having a panic attack.

[ankietyjoe]

I can't push on whilst my anxiety is so high because it's so horrible.

Yes we know it's horrible, but you have to push on. You don't actually have a choice, it ain't going anywhere soon.

Think about why you're scared of having a panic attack. What actually happens.......? The answer is nothing, it's just a feeling. You have to get this straight in your mind. You're running from a sensation that's caused by the running. You see that, right?

[LittleLionMan]

Yeah, I see it.
I'm just struggling to gain the clarity in myself as to what to do with it. It's the confusion in my mind which is bringing the anxiety. My mind just swirls around trying to figure it all out, then when I can't resolve it, I panic.

I've just written quite a demanding day plan for tomorrow, and I'm going to try and do it no matter how I feel.

[ankietyjoe]

I still don't think you're getting what the psychologist is trying to say, and what I'm trying to explain.

It's not about ploughing on with work/running/whatever no matter what. It's about stopping, feeling the anxiety and being ok just feeling it.

You can't figure this out, you cannot out-think anxiety. I tried that for years because I thought I was cleverer than the normal sufferer, but it doesn't work. There IS nothing to figure out. It's here, and it's hard.

"I can't cope with this" - You don't have a choice.

"It's hard" - Yeah, we know.

"If I do X, then I'll panic" - Yup.


Until you learn to accept the anxiety and practice NOT reacting or running, you will suffer with it. There is no other way to deal with this, no matter how much conscious effort you put into finding a solution that a billion others never found.

[LittleLionMan]

I know, and I don't mean head down ploughing through, I mean increasing my activity, which will (and is) increasing my anxiety, and then acknowledging it, and carrying on regardless.

My psychologist wants me to increase activity so that even though I'm still anxious, I will be able to look at something and say 'that might make me anxious' (but I'll do it anyway), 'this is making me anxious' (but I know I'm OK and can do this), or 'that made me anxious' (but I was fine and nothing happened to me).

It's about exploring and facing the things that make me anxious and showing myself I can cope with it, instead of lounging around, or lying in bed, and creating numerous scary stories about all the what ifs, and not getting anywhere.

Does that make more sense?