Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[LittleLionMan]

Just actually been for a drive with my therapist.

Didn't go too badly, but I'm in a tangle now.

[Sez86]

This rings so true to me. Apart from lockdown I have had an incredibly stressful summer losing several family members (not to COVID) and having some personal issues to work through. I have recently decided that I need to relax and put some of this behind me, but when I try to relax I end up having a panic attack and it all goes wrong again.

I have started trying to eat better and also to rest, even if I can't sleep. Someone I work with used to travel a lot and said that when they couldn't sleep because of time zones they would lie in bed with their eyes shut and just rest. It really does help to feel less tired the next morning if I do that. However, it is still early days and I am struggling to make myself relaxed. That said, maybe the more I worry about relaxing the less likely I am to actually recover.

[LittleLionMan]

The relaxation thing has sort of eased for me now, my biggest advice would be not to try and relax, just do relaxing things, not caring how you feel, if that makes sense?
Mine has turned into a constant derealisation thing. I keep trying to remind myself that the way it moves around, that it will move around again.

I learnt a trick about sleeping, where I lay down and pretend I'm going to sleep, as if someone is about to ask you to get up and do something and you pretend you're asleep. It works for me.

[LittleLionMan]

I'm in a really mess today from pushing myself yesterday and then struggling all last night. This is why I can't just blindly push myself through. I'm in such a mess it's unreal. I hate it.

[LittleLionMan]

My derealisation has made any 'big question' into a huge event for me. Any suggestion of anything about the universe, existence or anything like that and I spiral into panic instantly. I'm so f*cked.