Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[LittleLionMan]

I'm getting myself in such a state about this baby shower. It starts at 3, there are about 30 people coming, and I dreading it! Trying to remind myself that I've done testing things before, and nothing has ever happened to me.

I just want to fast forward to 8:15 when one of my horses is running, and I'm focussing on that as a distraction.

Day done, and truly one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I didn't give in once.
Been in a total mess all day, but didn't give in.

Haven't got the 'relief' feeling I was expecting, but the intensity of the day is bound to drag on I suppose. I'm tense, tired, can't swallow, and am breathless, but I did it.

[LittleLionMan]

After getting through the weekend, my worst panic attack came last night as I was going to sleep.
I often get these 'big questions' which come in to my head and make me panic. Questions about existence and things that I can't let go of.
In an awful way today, and am terrified again now.
Today is actually the worst I've ever been, and I don't know what do do with myself, it's horrible.

[Lencoboy]

After getting through the weekend, my worst panic attack came last night as I was going to sleep.
I often get these 'big questions' which come in to my head and make me panic. Questions about existence and things that I can't let go of.
In an awful way today, and am terrified again now.
Today is actually the worst I've ever been, and I don't know what do do with myself, it's horrible.

No doubt all the seemingly endless stuff in the news about Coronavirus over the past 6 months has exacerbated your anxiety situation, which is totally understandable, of course, as we have all been in the same boat.

Although I'm still gravely concerned about the CV situation, I'm a lot more chilled about it now than back in March, when it was really starting to become panic stations in this country!!

Sadly the media seem to revel in and exploit many people's anxieties often in pursuit of £s as you probably already know full well.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

[LittleLionMan]

I'm sure it doesn't help.

I haven't particularly been bothered about COVID, but I'm sure the fear in the news and changing of the world can't help anyone.

[ankietyjoe]

When everyone is able to describe these symptoms as harmless, tolerable, and almost trivial, it's makes me wonder why mine are so bad and why everyone obviously must cope with them so much better than me? It makes me think something is seriously wrong with me.

Yours aren't so bad. It's your reaction to them that is bad.

You are suffering with a bit of self pity and victim complex, and in some respects you just need to bloody pull yourself together.

Yes, it feels crappy, but you need to stop the internal whining about it.

Have you also noticed that your last panic attack was 'your worst one ever'? It's also common for people to think that's true, but it's not. It's just your accumulated reaction to it that's getting worse. A panic attack is really nothing more than a shot of adrenaline in the wrong scenario, and you are now firmly in the place of being able to sustain and repeat your own adrenal response.

The same advice you've been given for 25 pages or more still applies.

If you don't know what to do with yourself, go outside and sit under a tree and watch the world go by. It's got to be better than sitting in and focusing on how bad you feel right?

[BlueIris]

Drat it, Joe, I wish the forums had an upvote facility - you put that perfectly.

I suffer from panic attacks, health anxiety and depression, and can get some pretty horrendous bodily sensations as a result. They're a f***ing nuisance and sometimes stop me being as productive as I'd like to be.

It's not some great tragedy, it's bloody annoying.

The only thing wrong with you is that you haven't yet had the epiphany that wrangling anxiety requires damned hard work.

[LittleLionMan]

Hi Joe,

I know, and I'm not sitting doing nothing. I'm pushing so hard. I did a party on Saturday with 40+ people there. Running, working, spending time with my nephew, and I am getting far worse.

My psychologist is just pushing the medication now, and my father has phoned the GP because he's worried about me, and he's called this morning pushing the meds too, Escitalopram they are, but I desperately don't want to take them.

I'm trying to apply everything you are saying, I'm trying to just sit with anxiety, I'm trying not to focus on it, but I'm just getting worse. I can't do anything else but keep trying, but it's like my mind is torturing me 24/7. It's horrible.

Ps. I know I sound whiny, I'm just desperate and struggling.

[BlueIris]

For what it's worth, I had a bad experience with an SSRI when I was around 25, and vowed to never take meds again. The years passed, and the anxiety got worse until I was living with constant suicidal ideation. Therapy would help for a few months, maybe a year, but eventually the anxiety would get a grip again and I'd be back to where I started.

Eventually (around 15 years later), I was desperate enough to try anything, including another SSRI. Since I started it, I've had the odd speedbump but I haven't really looked back. The thing about meds is that they can buy you the breathing space you might need to use the coping strategies you've been given.

[LittleLionMan]

I've had terrible experiences with meds too, that's why I'm so against taking them. I also think when there is nothing actually physically wrong, I feel I should be able to do it myself. I'm also terrified of starting them any way.

All my family think that because I'm not taking them, that I'm refusing to help myself, and all my support has pretty much gone now, I think that's what's making it harder at the moment. They are ignoring all the actually effort I'm making that it causing me to be more anxious, and just think I'm getting worse without trying, and won’t listen when I try and explain what I'm trying to do.

[Fishmanpa]

My psychologist is just pushing the medication now, and my father has phoned the GP because he's worried about me, and he's called this morning pushing the meds too, Escitalopram they are, but I desperately don't want to take them......I'm just desperate and struggling.

You're "desperately", suffering and in a lot of mental pain. If it were physical pain, would you not take pain meds?

Positive thoughts