Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[LittleLionMan]

Haha, I know. I was trying to get myself into something to focus on, as I was struggling badly, and just as I seemed to settle in to it a little, bang, power out. It's been a bit of a baptism of fire though, as no power means far less distractions available. I've given myself a few, but have rationalised and then accepted the situation though, but it has been a challenge.

A car has smashed into the electric post outside my house. The power still isn't back on now.

Stuff you take for granted, hey!

[LittleLionMan]

I emailed my psychologist my usual updates over the weekend, and this was her response...

'Good morning,

This anxiety is so awful for you. I strongly feel that you are at the point where you need to try some medication. I have seen so many people with such high levels of anxiety hugely improve.'

If I don't want to take medication, which I desperately don't want to, and this is her only real suggestion going forward, is it time I found a new treatment?

We have done EMDR sessions and all sorts, and for some reason it's just made me feel worse. If after 2 months, and the best part of £3000, her only suggestion is take some pills, isn't that a bit of a cop out?

[Fishmanpa]

We have done EMDR sessions and all sorts, and for some reason it's just made me feel worse. If after 2 months, and the best part of £3000, her only suggestion is take some pills, isn't that a bit of a cop out?

Think of it like putting water on a fire and meds are the water. Its easier to manage burning embers than it is a raging inferno.

Positive thoughts

[LittleLionMan]

Think of it like putting water on a fire and meds are the water. Its easier to manage burning embers than it is a raging inferno.

Positive thoughts

Yeah, I get it, I've just always been against taking meds for it because I've tried them in the past and they have made me either considerably worse, given me awful side effects, or have numbed me too much.

I've always been OK to feel the pain and know it's there, rather than mask it, if that makes sense. I've always believed I can handle it, and was always confident I would eventually overcome it without meds, but now I'm not so sure I can.

[pulisa]

I think you would need to be careful with the start up dosage of meds, particularly the SSRIs which notoriously heighten anxiety to begin with.

You may be able to get better value from your therapy if meds actually lower your anxiety a degree or two. This is probably why your psychologist has suggested it. You can be too anxious to process anything you are told during these sessions which is such a shame and a complete waste of your time and money.

Do you actually rate her as a psychologist though? Does she "get" you and tailor the therapy to your needs?

[LittleLionMan]

I think you would need to be careful with the start up dosage of meds, particularly the SSRIs which notoriously heighten anxiety to begin with.

You may be able to get better value from your therapy if meds actually lower your anxiety a degree or two. This is probably why your psychologist has suggested it. You can be too anxious to process anything you are told during these sessions which is such a shame and a complete waste of your time and money.

Do you actually rate her as a psychologist though? Does she "get" you and tailor the therapy to your needs?

It's that start up anxiety that's scaring me, and the fact that I simply don't want to take them.

She's an odd one, because she is truly brutal. Honestly doesn't care how high my anxiety gets, because she knows it won't hurt me. That's fine, but she isn't the one that has to live with it.

When we first started, she had my driving to the shop, and actually going in to buy something (with her following behind because of COVID), which I hadn't done in months, all pretty calmly, and it seemed to be going well, and then it all just crashed around me, and I don't know why.

She thinks I try too hard, as in I take everything to the extreme, so I'm already preparing myself to face anxiety and let thoughts pass before there is anything to handle, which obviously prepares me for battle and inevitably brings anxiety.

[pulisa]

Managing anxiety isn't about battling anxiety as you know. It means acknowledging it and accepting it and letting it pass through you without reacting with panic.

Is she actually qualified in EMDR therapy? To me you would be far too anxious to benefit from it at the moment. She probably sees meds as a way of you being able to access EMDR safely?

I think you do try too hard but we have tried to tell you this. Take out the battle imagery and try to downplay anxiety into a non-threatening, somewhat boring inconvenience which just happens to be present but is like a tedious house guest ie not a permanent fixture?

[LittleLionMan]

Yeah, she doesn't want me doing anything to try and intervene when I'm anxious, not breathing exercises, talking myself down or anything. Just tolerate and don't react. Which would be fine, but the anxiety never goes. I honestly can't remember the last time I wasn't anxious to some degree, so it's a hard ask to just tolerate and not react from the second I wake up until the second I go to bed.

She's a doctor of clinical psychology, and costs me £180 a session, and I'm having 2 a week, so she's not a cheap option, but it was down to me wanting to really tackle it that made me go for the best I could find around here.

I think she just wants me to be able to push the limits of my anxiety, and obviously I can't do that effectively whilst I'm in this state, or it would be easier if I wasn't quite this anxious.

[LittleLionMan]

Yeah, she doesn't want me doing anything to try and intervene when I'm anxious, not breathing exercises, talking myself down or anything. Just tolerate and don't react. Which would be fine, but the anxiety never goes. I honestly can't remember the last time I wasn't anxious to some degree, so it's a hard ask to just tolerate and not react from the second I wake up until the second I go to bed.

She's a doctor of clinical psychology, and costs me £180 a session, and I'm having 2 a week, so she's not a cheap option, but it was down to me wanting to really tackle it that made me go for the best I could find around here.

I think she just wants me to be able to push the limits of my anxiety, and obviously I can't do that effectively whilst I'm in this state, or it would be easier if I wasn't quite this anxious.

She's just been, we chatted about my past, and tried some EMDR, I feel worse and am trembling in fear now, oddly feel panicky when my heart rate is only 60. She's just brings so much emotion out of me, and I'm scared about how I will be for the rest of the day.

Worried me that she couldn't give me a clear strategy for handling these constant thoughts, apart from 'they can't hurt you', 'you aren't going crazy' and 'this is just anxiety'.
I hoped for a clear plan, and I still haven't got one.

[MartinSmith]

What are the patterns of your sleep ? It affects directly on mind and thinking. It was very difficult for me to enjoy a good sleep, and it also affected other areas of my life. So I decided to focus on enhancing my sleep quality, that was a big challenge for me, Aromatherapy helped me much in calming my mind and body. I tried that from https://sportsinside.co.uk/ because my focus was full on quality. So my suggestion is to focus on your sleep first, then all the problems will be solved gradually.