Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[ankietyjoe]

I'm not resistant at all mate, you've raised some very good points which I'm trying to implement.
I think I need to exercise, eat more, and just get on with it all, regardless of how I feel, which I did last night, and am continuing to do today, even though I'm feeling dreadful.

Good for you dude.

And Scass is spot on. It takes years to become anxious (and most people never see it coming) as it's all based around low level stress, and it takes a long time for your brain to re-learn how to not fear and overreact to every little thing. You have to hand hold your subconscious through the process.

[LittleLionMan]

Good for you dude.

And Scass is spot on. It takes years to become anxious (and most people never see it coming) as it's all based around low level stress, and it takes a long time for your brain to re-learn how to not fear and overreact to every little thing. You have to hand hold your subconscious through the process.

I've just eaten a steak slice thing and some crisps for my lunch, and haven't been for my run yet, as I'm just finishing some work, so will give it a couple of hours now. I know it's not ideal, but it's calories and it's a start to getting food in me in the daytime. Going to start filling in my Fitbit nutrition thing in to make sure I'm getting enough.
Can tell what a big deal it is though, my mind increased its wandering and actually questioning why/what/for what reason I'm forcing myself to eat for. All these things need to become second nature don't they so my body expects food, and my mind sees it as the norm.

I'll keep pushing and trying, I might be bloody useless, but I'm a fighter, and you seem to need plenty of that for this anxiety game!

[LittleLionMan]

There’s definitely a case for “fake it until you make it”, but sometimes doing that is just avoiding the issue. And I’m not saying that to be patronising because I am a great procrastinator.

A lot of the things you are doing are good. It takes a while to create new habits, so whilst they might make you feel a little bit uncomfortable at first, they often just need to sink in. Your anxiety didn’t get built in a day either.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That's kind of what I'm trying to do. My psychologist wants my day to start with run, shower, breakfast. I can see her point, because if I get to be that proactive in the morning, it's hard to keep beating yourself up afterwards, even if you do feel rubbish, it just takes some doing when I'm so anxious in the mornings. I also think she thinks that it will basically break the cycle of me dreading and avoiding the day. Time will tell I suppose, but I will give it my all, and she's stripping away all my safety behaviours at the same time, so it's bound to make me feel increasing vulnerable and anxious in the short term, I just hope I see some benefit in the coming weeks / months.

I hope you are good.

Phil

[ankietyjoe]

Although I'm heavily pushing healthy food, I think it's more important that you get food in right now rather than complicate matters. From my own experience however, a good quality diet plays a massive part in mental health. I can literally feel myself slowing down cognitively when I eat too much, too often and of the wrong thing. Be mindful of what you eat, but for now just get it in.

In terms of habit, spot on. Your brain is basically a learning and repetition machine. It will want to do what it did yesterday, even if that 'thing' is self destructive. This is why self talk is so absurdly effective, positive or negative. If you think about being anxious, you'll be anxious, if you think about being well, eventually it WILL make you feel well.

If you have the headspace, I find Cronometer to be a better nutrition tracker than Fitbit. It's free, and you can fully customise recipes on there (shakes for example) so you can just add 'my favourite shake' as a food entry and it will track all the macro and micro nutrients. It will give you a good overall idea of where your diet is.

There is a mixed requirement in your own anxiety self care. You have to find the balance between being compassionate with yourself and allowing yourself time off. Sometimes even now I'll down tools for a day or two because I know I need it. Other times there is an element of 'man the fvck up' and just get on with it. You feel like crap, BOO-HOO. Etc. A lot of anxiety is about feeling sorry for yourself, and this is a Universal truth. But you need both. Being all toxic masculinity about it isn't the way, but neither is pandering to every little needy whim. It's a weird condition alright!

[LittleLionMan]

Although I'm heavily pushing healthy food, I think it's more important that you get food in right now rather than complicate matters. From my own experience however, a good quality diet plays a massive part in mental health. I can literally feel myself slowing down cognitively when I eat too much, too often and of the wrong thing. Be mindful of what you eat, but for now just get it in.

In terms of habit, spot on. Your brain is basically a learning and repetition machine. It will want to do what it did yesterday, even if that 'thing' is self destructive. This is why self talk is so absurdly effective, positive or negative. If you think about being anxious, you'll be anxious, if you think about being well, eventually it WILL make you feel well.

If you have the headspace, I find Cronometer to be a better nutrition tracker than Fitbit. It's free, and you can fully customise recipes on there (shakes for example) so you can just add 'my favourite shake' as a food entry and it will track all the macro and micro nutrients. It will give you a good overall idea of where your diet is.

There is a mixed requirement in your own anxiety self care. You have to find the balance between being compassionate with yourself and allowing yourself time off. Sometimes even now I'll down tools for a day or two because I know I need it. Other times there is an element of 'man the fvck up' and just get on with it. You feel like crap, BOO-HOO. Etc. A lot of anxiety is about feeling sorry for yourself, and this is a Universal truth. But you need both. Being all toxic masculinity about it isn't the way, but neither is pandering to every little needy whim. It's a weird condition alright!

You've actually just hit on what my problem is, and that's that I can't 'down tools', because the quiet times are the worst for me, as the worst of my symptoms are cognitive, so it feels like there is literally no escape. I used to be able to have a lazy afternoon and it would clear my head, now it does the opposite. This is by far my biggest problem, I can't ever give myself a break. I'm never relaxed, and if I do anything relaxing (Sitting down time watch a film or a football match, lie in bed to watch a box set for an hour etc.), even like trying to sleep, I start panicking.

I've been for my run and eaten dinner, so that's a couple of big-ish meals today, had a good nights sleep last night, so could hopefully be a good place to build from.

[ankietyjoe]

Yep, you can definitely build from there.

In the background you need to constantly tell yourself that times of quiet are not to be feared. Panic is not to be feared. If you start panicking it doesn't matter. This is YOU doing it to YOU. If that wasn't the case, you would panic with your psychologist as well, but you don't. And again, she is absolutely right. You do need to do something that triggers the anxiety just so you can get used to it. My own battle was with going out and doing things (the complete opposite of you), but that used to cause me incredible anxiety. For 18 months I used to force myself to go to Tesco 5 times a week because I hated it and it caused me anxiety. There is a wall clock half way round the store and I would often stop there and pretend to use my phone so I could stick my thumb on my neck without people noticing and check my heart rate (always over 120bpm by then). If the panic used to get too much I'd go back to the car, calm myself down and go back in again. If you don't expose yourself to it and learn to live with it, it WILL get worse. There is no other way to deal with this effectively.

Recovering from the place you are in now is a holistic task. It's not about doing one thing, it's about doing 20-30 things that will work together to solve the issue over time. You have to accept that some of the things you have done to make yourself feel better short term are going to have to change.

[LittleLionMan]

Up until 4 months or so ago, my problem was purely going out and doing things, (and still is that as well), but I used to be able to lounge around all day, doing whatever I wanted around the house, perfectly happy and fine, until I started having panic attacks at home, and now nowhere feels safe, and I can't find peace anywhere, anytime.

You have done immense mate!

The problem I have pushing my comfort zone now is that I don't have a comfort zone to return to, so my anxiety is just constant, even if it drops down to a 4/10, I'm always feeling it to a certain degree.

[ankietyjoe]

Even more reason to get used to it, right?

But I used to be in that place too. Anxiety was constant. It was either bad, or worse.

I think eating enough will help. It won't fix it, but you're taking one source of stress away because your body won't be running on empty all the time. Even though you're making effort now I still think it's worth tracking what you have each day just so you know where you are. It would be very easy for you to think you're eating enough and still be basically in starvation mode. At my worst I had a diet like yours and I got down to about 11 1/2 stone and I'm a little under 5ft 10, and I looked really ill, so we know your body is going to need feeding up.

And as for the permanent anxiety, remember again that when your psychologist is there, the anxiety diminishes, so you are capable of being in that place. You've just got used to not being able to cope with it by yourself.

I cut out the bloody fags Been there too, don't miss it!

[LittleLionMan]

I'm a big 6' bloke, and weighed myself last night, and I'm 10st 5lbs! You can imagine how ill I look! It's really not good.

I know the healthy basics are important. I can't expect to be strong mentally when I'm so weak physically.

I'll keep going. Had an awful night last night, so just trying to put that behind me.

[ankietyjoe]

I'll keep going. Had an awful night last night, so just trying to put that behind me.

Bingo. Sh1t happens. Get on with today.