Hi, I’m a 23 year old male and I’ve been a lurker of this site for nearly 4 years and it has proved immensely helpful.
I’ve had health anxiety since I was younger as a result of a bad experience I had in A&E. Today I went to the doc and had my first blood test in around 10 years. Im bricking it for the results it’s all I can think about and I feel like it’s consuming me despite my doctor telling me not to worry.
This is began To spiral in 2013, after a strange sensation in my head/headaches I diagnosed myself with a brain tumour using doctor google and I did extensive research. I knew each symptom for each stage and each different type. After worrying for 18 months I finally broke down and went to my family doctor who after a few visual tests and a physical told me he was sure it wasn’t a brain tumour.
Two years passed, when I found some pesky little lymp nodes couple in neck, groin etc, after extensive research I decided this was most likely indicative of lymphoma. This came with a generous helping of panic attacks, chest pain, general muscle aches and twinges. It also seemed to gravitate but generally always came back to the lymph nodes. For instance I would get a sore throat that would last probably because I would fixate on it. When this all got too much I saw my family doctor and he felt the nodes and told me they all felt normal and insignificant.
I then saw a hypnotherapist which didn’t help much. I was very into running at this point and I started to develop groin/hip soreness in March 2017 on both sides. I went back to the doctor who told me he wasn’t concerned and the mild pains continued. A couple of months after that I started to develop chest wall/armpit soreness. I checked for nodes and also had my doctor do the same and we found nothing. He put the chest wall pain down to anxiety.
Each time I would feel better but eventually, the cycle would continue. It’s strange because I go through months when I’m ok and then it starts and get to a point where I can’t Handle it.
In March last year I saw my doctor again With similar issues and concerns about nodes, I also had him check a testicle (tmi I know) and we discussed citalapram. I took a 10mg dose for 1 year and then elected to wean off them. I’ve been off then for 3 months. I saw another hypno in this time but found it mostly ineffective.
I felt better for some time, but with everything going on in the world and the future uncertain I seem to have relapsed again. I’m achy in my pelvic area/hips, my chest wall is sore. It’s intermittent and both come and go but most days in the last 2 months I’ve noticed it.
I saw my doc again today and he offered me some reassurances saying if it was anything sinister after this time you would likely have other symptoms and be several Ill. He said he can do bloods to put my mind at rest and we did, even tho the thought of getting/waiting for the results makes me feel physically sick. I’m worried the results will show high wbc due to stress etc and then I will go through more anxiety.
I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice, I plan to do CBT and doc wants me back on cit, but I’m kinda stuck for what to do right now.
Thanks for reading sorry it was so long winded!
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