Quote Originally Posted by ajpowers View Post
I know the acceptance will be hard for me, but I'm working on it. Same with the not running. I've 100% lived my life thus far not being able to accept that sometimes things are less than ideal (or have to be for a while) and running away from super uncomfortable things.

My therapist and I started with grounding techniques today, so we've officially kicked off down the CBT road. I'm actually excited to start putting this stuff into practice and trying to wrap my head around it conceptually.

Ugh, the idleness is such a problem. You're totally right about that. I have an intense phobia surrounding death and dying (I lost my mom to cancer a while back and I was her primary support during the whole process) so being in the middle of COVID-19 and the resurgence of (necessary) attention to the BLM movement makes me feel like I'm surrounded by it all the time.

I've been trying to fill my time as much as I can. Taking a couple of online courses, doing puzzles, painting, baking...anything that requires focus and concentration.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, that will of course be an additional complication in your mental process.

In terms of acceptance, yes it's hard. Try not to tell yourself that though. Lots of things in life are hard, but we just have to get on with it. 'Yeah but'.....is a subtly powerful statement as it's a mental excuse to repeat negative behaviour. That was my experience with it at least.

There's a fine line between filling your time and not being mindful. Sometimes acceptance just means doing nothing and dealing with the consequences. So if you're sitting around doing nothing and you start to feel bad, say to yourself 'so what?'. What's really going to happen? The answer is nothing, it's just sensation. That's a more powerful reaction than immediately distracting yourself with something else, because in the long run it removes a lot of the power of anxiety.