I have no idea where to post this, I need help, some form of help, I'm losing it. I read into eternal oblivion, how when we die our consciousness ceases to exist.
We end up nothing, we remember nothing, we are nothing. The thought of that is driving me mad, granted I'm 19 years old and have a long way to go.
I don't want my loved ones to just cease to exist, I know anything I tell myself is just me trying to have closure in the thought of death.
The world is infinite, our energy gets converted after we die and is the only thing that remains of us, life is meaningless.
Every breath I take is closer to death, I sleep 20 years of my life away, I'll work the other quarter away.
Only to return to the state I was in before I was born, I don't want that, I want to remember my loved ones when I pass. I want to be with them.
I want to hold them. This anxiety has been going on for two days and I just keep crying, I'm not eating right at all. Life is too much of a mystery,
what if there really is no afterlife? What if this is just a one way ticket into nothingness? Everytime I seek any form of closure, everyone just says "don't fear nothing because you won't feel or remember it" but.. I want to feel things, I want to remember. I want to spend eternity with my loved ones. I can't take this. :( I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong section but I need help, I don't know where to turn, the anxiety is destroying me knowing that once the invetieable comes, the most logical outcome is that nothing will exist for me. I'll be gone forever, and everyone I love is gonna be gone forever. I really don't mean to offend any religious people, my mind is spiraling right now, I don't know whats real and whats not and I'm asking questions that have no answers.

Please help me.