pb's Health anxiety worries thread

[pb]

You need to change your thoughts and your dialogue. Yes, it's difficult, and it's going to take time, but you have yet to make that mental switch where you say to yourself. 'ENOUGH!'.

Time spent on here seeking reassurance would be better spent reading the pages suggested by the admin of this site. Or the success stories from the people who have beaten HA. There are podcasts out there, and books - all of which will give you great advice. Doing these things will be a step towards recovery, whereas continually posting your every ache and pain will only ever keep you in this cycle of symptom=fear=more symptoms=more fear

Out of interest, have you gone any further down the fibromyalgia route? I've just been reading through this thread, and you mentioned it. I was diagnosed last year after 9 years of symptoms affecting every part of my body. It's the numerous symptoms which sent me into HA. However, I generally have multiple symptoms at any time - not single ones. This morning I have about 5 symptoms, plus the full body shaking I had during the night due to an inability to control my body temperature. Stress definitely worsens it, and my brain definitely responds to symptoms in the night with nocturnal panic attacks. I put my fibro down to a lifetime of anxiety, my body constantly swilling with stress hormones, and finally the loss of my mother who died a week before the hip operation she didn't want to have - which makes me wonder if the old girl willed herself to die rather than end up on 'those effing crutches' (her actual words to the surgeon, only she used the actual F bomb - preceded by 'and you can stuff' )

Before you start panicking about fibromyalgia - it's not life-threatening - but it is a massive pain in the arse! (and everywhere else)

Maybe, next time you log on here - have a read through this thread. Go back to the beginning and see how many 'terminal illnesses' you've had this year. How many times you have scared yourself silly, and how many times your fears have not come true.

I think we are a similar age? I'm 50. It's never too late to beat HA. Plenty of life out there to be grabbed by the wotsits. You just have to make that mental switch... I am going to beat this.

Thank you for your reply Nora. My old gp said she thought I might have fibromyalgia and a doctor at A&E also said I may have it, but I’ve not pursued a proper diagnosis. I am in my fifties like you.
Ive managed to stop taking my pulse and the pins and needles are better than they were.
I know my fears of different illnesses have not come true and I do reread posts when I have similar symptoms.
I really hope I can get my life back and I definitely need more structure to my life x

[pb]

I cant sleep, ectopic beats waking me up. I could feel pulse in stomach and rested hand on stomach and now have a stomach ache. Pressed my wrist and now have pins and needles. I think I've damaged my aorta because of stomach pain and nerves in my wrist. This is too much I've damaged everything .

[BlueIris]

Change the messages you're telling yourself. Acknowledge the sensations, remind yourself they're just anxiety and then dismiss the thought, as many times as it takes.

Try searching YouTube for sleep music, too, it can really help you relax.

[NoraB]

Thank you for your reply Nora. My old gp said she thought I might have fibromyalgia and a doctor at A&E also said I may have it, but I’ve not pursued a proper diagnosis. I am in my fifties like you.

A rheumatologist will give you a proper diagnosis. The one who diagnosed me was really nice and explained fibro as a communication problem in the brain with pain signals - which seems plausible to me.

Ive managed to stop taking my pulse and the pins and needles are better than they were.

As predicted.

I really hope I can get my life back and I definitely need more structure to my life x

You will get your life back if you engage more dialogue like this. However, I have just seen your latest post....

[NoraB]

I cant sleep, ectopic beats waking me up.

Your heart has been tested. You have no heart issues. Ectopic beats are common, and normal.

They are waking you up because you are sensitised and hyper-focused on what's happening in your body. This is classic with health anxiety.

I could feel pulse in stomach and rested hand on stomach and now have a stomach ache.

The stomach cops for many nervous symptoms. I have this. When I am really anxious, I can see it pulsing away and I've had scans and MRIs which show nothing wrong at all.

Pressed my wrist and now have pins and needles.

What do you expect? You stopped doing it and the sensations went away. You pressed it again and they're back. (logic)

I think I've damaged my aorta because of stomach pain and nerves in my wrist.

Where is your evidence?

Both are explained by anxiety and constant pressure on your artery, so where is your evidence for aortic damage?

This is too much I've damaged everything .

I'll give you a tip. When I feel ill, as I often do with my condition, I get dressed, put my make-up on and tell myself that, yes, I feel crap, but I am going to get on with my day anyway. HA me would have crawled back into bed and stayed there - terrifying myself with delusions of terminal illness and my imminent demise. Your self-talk is negative, and it's the negative stuff that you believe. I read your comments and those positive bits slipped in-between your fears are not what you believe. Fear is in control with you, and with anybody who has health anxiety. Fear is the driver of the 'crazy train in your mind. It will stop for you. It will always stop for you, but it's your decision to get on even though it feels like it's not. Once on the train, you can't get off until the next stop, and in the case of HA this means a normal test result or reassurance from a GP. But you go have a cup of tea and breathe easily for a short while, and then you hear that sound of the train on the tracks and your heart fills with fear once more..

I absolutely understand, and empathise with where you are, but you do seem to be functioning whereas I reached a point where my brain shut down, and so did my body. I don't want that for you, or for anybody. I basically thought myself into a nervous breakdown, and it really did feel like I was broken. But I wasn't broken. It was a case of when I have too many tabs open on my pc - it gets stuck and I have to shut down and restart the computer. Well, my brain did it for me because, as always, it was trying to protect me.

You absolutely need therapy.

You absolutely need to know that you're not alone.

And you need to know that people care about you.

It will be a happy day for me when I see your success story on here, and you can do it.

Finally, I used to be terrified of my own pulse. I would feel sick at the sensation of it, and I was hyper-aware of it, and pulsing all over my body. I would lie in the bath and watch my tummy pulse and fear would consume me. As I said, my scans were clear. They've always been clear. And then, instead of Googling symptoms, I researched anxiety. I also got CBT and I got better. Now, I feel my pulse, and I thank my body for keeping me alive. I also use it as a gauge for my anxiety. If I can feel it (not by taking it) I know I have to up a few gears with relaxation. When I am no longer aware of it - I know my anxiety levels are falling - so gold star for Nora!

I'm rooting for you pb.

[pb]

O

Your heart has been tested. You have no heart issues. Ectopic beats are common, and normal.

They are waking you up because you are sensitised and hyper-focused on what's happening in your body. This is classic with health anxiety.



The stomach cops for many nervous symptoms. I have this. When I am really anxious, I can see it pulsing away and I've had scans and MRIs which show nothing wrong at all.



What do you expect? You stopped doing it and the sensations went away. You pressed it again and they're back. (logic)



Where is your evidence?

Both are explained by anxiety and constant pressure on your artery, so where is your evidence for aortic damage?



I'll give you a tip. When I feel ill, as I often do with my condition, I get dressed, put my make-up on and tell myself that, yes, I feel crap, but I am going to get on with my day anyway. HA me would have crawled back into bed and stayed there - terrifying myself with delusions of terminal illness and my imminent demise. Your self-talk is negative, and it's the negative stuff that you believe. I read your comments and those positive bits slipped in-between your fears are not what you believe. Fear is in control with you, and with anybody who has health anxiety. Fear is the driver of the 'crazy train in your mind. It will stop for you. It will always stop for you, but it's your decision to get on even though it feels like it's not. Once on the train, you can't get off until the next stop, and in the case of HA this means a normal test result or reassurance from a GP. But you go have a cup of tea and breathe easily for a short while, and then you hear that sound of the train on the tracks and your heart fills with fear once more..

I absolutely understand, and empathise with where you are, but you do seem to be functioning whereas I reached a point where my brain shut down, and so did my body. I don't want that for you, or for anybody. I basically thought myself into a nervous breakdown, and it really did feel like I was broken. But I wasn't broken. It was a case of when I have too many tabs open on my pc - it gets stuck and I have to shut down and restart the computer. Well, my brain did it for me because, as always, it was trying to protect me.

You absolutely need therapy.

You absolutely need to know that you're not alone.

And you need to know that people care about you.

It will be a happy day for me when I see your success story on here, and you can do it.

Finally, I used to be terrified of my own pulse. I would feel sick at the sensation of it, and I was hyper-aware of it, and pulsing all over my body. I would lie in the bath and watch my tummy pulse and fear would consume me. As I said, my scans were clear. They've always been clear. And then, instead of Googling symptoms, I researched anxiety. I also got CBT and I got better. Now, I feel my pulse, and I thank my body for keeping me alive. I also use it as a gauge for my anxiety. If I can feel it (not by taking it) I know I have to up a few gears with relaxation. When I am no longer aware of it - I know my anxiety levels are falling - so gold star for Nora!

I'm rooting for you pb.

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m so consumed with fear it’s really difficult.
Your right i am functioning, but not at a good level. At the beginning of this in April, I just stayed in bed unable to eat and feeling very sick. I now get up and go to the local supermarket and for coffee, but that’s about it.
The heart palpitations and missed beats are so scary and I’m so worried that I will eventually permanently damage myself by taking my pulse, as I write this I can feel my pulse, but I’m scared to take it.Can taking your pulse on your neck damage the vagus nerve, I’ve just done this. I’ve just taken my pulse - it’s 96, but I’ve now got the pins and needles in my fingers.

[NoraB]

O
I’m so consumed with fear it’s really difficult.

I know mate, trust me, I know.

Your right i am functioning, but not at a good level. At the beginning of this in April, I just stayed in bed unable to eat and feeling very sick. I now get up and go to the local supermarket and for coffee, but that’s about it.

That's excellent!! That's a huge deal. Good on ya!

The heart palpitations and missed beats are so scary

They are, yes, but only in your mind. They are not dangerous. In reality, your heart is responding as it should to you triggering the stress response, and fear - despite what you've seen in the movies - will never kill you - unless you have a bad heart, and you don't.

The ectopic beats are common - especially with anxiety. Drink lots of water and another top tip from Nora is to cough when you get one - that stimulates the vagus nerve and you will feel ok. Or burp. Try it.

I’m so worried that I will eventually permanently damage myself by taking my pulse, as I write this I can feel my pulse, but I’m scared to take it.Can taking your pulse on your neck damage the vagus nerve, I’ve just done this.

You won't damage yourself. Your body is tougher than you think pb. However, the tingling will continue as long as you continue to put pressure on your arteries. Constant checking is key in keeping you mentally unwell. Your pulse will start to race at the thought of taking your pulse. My heart races as soon as I clap eyes on the BP monitor in the doctors!

Why are you taking your carotid pulse?

I cannot stress this on you enough, pb, you need to STOP checking your pulse!

[pulisa]

But there needs to be something for you to focus on other than monitoring your body.Any news on the possible work opportunities for October? You must be so bored with nothing to do other than think about illness?

[pb]

But there needs to be something for you to focus on other than monitoring your body.Any news on the possible work opportunities for October? You must be so bored with nothing to do other than think about illness?

I’ve not heard about the school work yet. I’m so worried about the ectopic beats it’s consuming me at the moment.

[BlueIris]

Seriously, stop reinforcing your fears by typing them out!