pb's Health anxiety worries thread

[NoraB]

Im lonely and if I’m honest , I feel that I have no future.
I’m terrified of my parents dying and being alone.

You have family and friends. Feeling alone is different matter, and in your case, clearly not being supported enough by your siblings.

You don't have your own children, but you do have children to give your love to.

And while your parents are elderly and not in the best of health - you do still have them.

You have a lot to cope with, for sure. I don't need to state the obvious about your parents. This is a fear that will come true, sadly. Or not, depending on how you choose to think about it. My FIL is going into a hospice today to be made comfortable for the final part of his journey. This is life.

I lost my dad when I was 26 and my mother died 9 years ago. The difference is that I had a husband to support me both times, so my heart goes out to you there. But you do have siblings and friends - which means you won't be as completely alone as you could be...

The cards dealt to us can be epically crap ones, I mean, my dad was diagnosed with cancer on my birthday and died on Christmas Day (crap cards - even crapper for my dad!) but life isn't meant to be fair, is it?

It's not about what happens to us, (no control) it's about how we deal with what happens to us. (control)

RE your siblings, it seems to me that you could perhaps be a little more assertive? Tell them what you need. Your mum and dad are their parents too!

Like pulisa says, you deserve a better life - a FABULOUS one - and one which isn't dominated by this horrible disorder!

Here comes the but...

All the sympathy in the world won't change the fact that it's down to you to change things - which is why I take the approach that I do.

Take old Scroogie... he saw how bleak his future was going to be if he didn't change, and he changed so that he could have a brighter future. I'm not saying you're tight with money (or coal) but it's as good an analogy as any...

Ask for support cocker. Maybe tell your sis, 'Ta for the food sis, but I need your time more'.

Be assertive! Flippin girl power and that!

So, this is where I must leave you and all that. I've said all I can to help you, to the point of repeating myself, and I would be happy to keep going if I thought it was helping you, but I really don't think that's the case, so I won't be contributing to this thread anymore. However, I will be thinking of you, and I genuinely wish you all the very best. X

"Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'
'That is the only time a man can be brave, his father told him."

- George R.R Martin - A Game of Thrones

P.s - you can do this. X

[pb]

You have family and friends. Feeling alone is different matter, and in your case, clearly not being supported enough by your siblings.

You don't have your own children, but you do have children to give your love to.

And while your parents are elderly and not in the best of health - you do still have them.

You have a lot to cope with, for sure. I don't need to state the obvious about your parents. This is a fear that will come true, sadly. Or not, depending on how you choose to think about it. My FIL is going into a hospice today to be made comfortable for the final part of his journey. This is life.

I lost my dad when I was 26 and my mother died 9 years ago. The difference is that I had a husband to support me both times, so my heart goes out to you there. But you do have siblings and friends - which means you won't be as completely alone as you could be...

The cards dealt to us can be epically crap ones, I mean, my dad was diagnosed with cancer on my birthday and died on Christmas Day (crap cards - even crapper for my dad!) but life isn't meant to be fair, is it?

It's not about what happens to us, (no control) it's about how we deal with what happens to us. (control)

RE your siblings, it seems to me that you could perhaps be a little more assertive? Tell them what you need. Your mum and dad are their parents too!

Like pulisa says, you deserve a better life - a FABULOUS one - and one which isn't dominated by this horrible disorder!

Here comes the but...

All the sympathy in the world won't change the fact that it's down to you to change things - which is why I take the approach that I do.

Take old Scroogie... he saw how bleak his future was going to be if he didn't change, and he changed so that he could have a brighter future. I'm not saying you're tight with money (or coal) but it's as good an analogy as any...

Ask for support cocker. Maybe tell your sis, 'Ta for the food sis, but I need your time more'.

Be assertive! Flippin girl power and that!

So, this is where I must leave you and all that. I've said all I can to help you, to the point of repeating myself, and I would be happy to keep going if I thought it was helping you, but I really don't think that's the case, so I won't be contributing to this thread anymore. However, I will be thinking of you, and I genuinely wish you all the very best. X

"Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'
'That is the only time a man can be brave, his father told him."

- George R.R Martin - A Game of Thrones

P.s - you can do this. X

Thank you for all your replies, although it probably looks as though they haven’t helped me, they have massively and I have reread them many times . Your right , life isn’t fair and it is how we deal with things. I wish you all the best x

[pb]

Really having a bad day today.Woke up with heart beating really quickly, it did go down eventually.
Have been getting chest pain, it seems to be when I move, so think it’s muscular.
Have been worrying about angina, but all movement, stretching etc causes the pain. I’ve got tingling in my thumb, but I know that’s because I have taken my pulse so many times. If I stop taking my pulse this should get better.
I now feel that I deserve a better life free from this HA, maybe that’s a good start to overcoming this.

[BlueIris]

You're being really sensible, PB, I'm proud of you. I know you must be feeling awful, but it's going to get better.

[pb]

You're being really sensible, PB, I'm proud of you. I know you must be feeling awful, but it's going to get better.

Thank you, I’m really trying to rationalise my symptoms and know that I want more than HA in my life.

[pulisa]

What would you like to do when you are able to manage your HA rationally? Do you have a plan as to how you will structure your day? What does that "more" mean to you?

I think it's so important to have a motivation in order to challenge HA.

[pb]

What would you like to do when you are able to manage your HA rationally? Do you have a plan as to how you will structure your day? What does that "more" mean to you?

I think it's so important to have a motivation in order to challenge HA.

I think just not being totally obsessed with symptoms would be a start.
Eventually after covid , I would like to go back to work and meet up with friends. I know this is a long way off, so I have to think about what I could do in the meantime. Trying not to just post lots of symptoms, but it is difficult x

[pulisa]

It's become a routine behaviour for you over all these years but it hasn't really got you anywhere, has it? Yes it will be hard not to automatically post about symptoms when you come on here because you are so used to doing it but maybe telling us about your thoughts for that "meantime" and how you can fill your time without it being associated with anything medical/illness-related may be a start?

Covid obviously restricts things but can you still keep in contact with friends without discussing symptoms with them? Could you do any online studying on a particular interest/subject which wasn't health-related? x

[pb]

It's become a routine behaviour for you over all these years but it hasn't really got you anywhere, has it? Yes it will be hard not to automatically post about symptoms when you come on here because you are so used to doing it but maybe telling us about your thoughts for that "meantime" and how you can fill your time without it being associated with anything medical/illness-related may be a start?

Covid obviously restricts things but can you still keep in contact with friends without discussing symptoms with them? Could you do any online studying on a particular interest/subject which wasn't health-related? x

I think an online course would be a good idea, I’m going to spend some time looking at this today , rather than worrying about symptoms. Hope you have a good day x

[pb]

Really trying not to obsess over symptoms, but whenever I feel stressed , I get chest pain and am still worried I have angina.
Before it was suggested I have an exercise test, I didn’t have these symptoms, also scared to walk too far.
Surely , I can’t be imagining these symptoms.
Ive had chest pain on and off for over a year now.
Ive had a good day today, I put loads on eBay and went out to buy a coffee.
This angina fear seems so real.
I know I need to find a distraction and know an online course would be good.