So recently there has been more of a collective interest in the Law of Attraction. Especially on the Tik Tok app, I don't know if it's just me but I've been seeing a lot more about it on the app. I've learned more and more about what manifestation is. I've learned that if you put out certain thoughts, whether that be negative or positive the universe will kind of, grant you it. Apparently you can 'manifest' without even doing it on purpose. This sudden knowledge, whether I even believe it or not has been really detrimental to my mental health. It's caused a lot of obsessive thought patterns and has actually caused actual physical compulsions to stop myself from thinking that awful things are going to happen to me just because I imagined them. Many people suggest that even just thinking about something happening can cause things to happen in your life, so how can I cope with my OCD thoughts when a lot of them consist of worrying about horrible things happening to me or me doing and believing horrible things.

My mum died in September last year, really suddenly of a brain aneurysm. I've always been terrified of brain aneurysms and always believed I, or someone I loved was going to have one. In the days leading up to my mums death, I imagined what it would be like to lose a parent and vividly imagined myself crying at a parents grave. How can I not believe that I somehow caused this? Did I 'manifest' these things?

I just saw a tik tok that claims that something big is going to happen on August 27th, and that I am supposed to see the video as it was some kind of destiny thing. I thought to myself what will happen (not fully believing it) my brain being my brain immediately thought of all the bad things that might happen. Death, financial ruin, pain etc. I've really freaked myself out worrying if this is true, and obviously as someone who has patterns of ocd thoughts, it's not helpful at all.