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Thread: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

  1. #1
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    Jun 2016
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    Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    I have been on paroxetine for two weeks or a little over now, and I have felt some improvement. It’s hard to explain, like I still worry, but not the panic attack kind... it’s like I am able to tell myself that one way or another it is going to work out. So I think that’s a positive. I am only on 20 mg and I have an appointment soon for her to check my progress and possibly up my dosage if she feels it needs to be.

    So I have had these bumps in my armpit area above my bra line for awhile now. I did a video chat a month ago and had a dr look at them, he told me they did not look like skin cancer and told me that it was hidradenitis suppurativa. I felt better for awhile, but then I felt myself worrying again because they have been there months and months. I video chatted another doctor this morning. She told me that the color and location does not raise alarms about skin cancer and told me to try warm compresses on it and see it that helps me any. So I have had two doctors tell me it does not look like skin cancer, but the thing is is that i latch onto this statement she made, “if it does not go away or gets worse, I would suggest getting them looked at in person.” Out of everything she said, I find myself latching into that. And I am not panicky or anything, or asking for reassurance other than what the doctor just told me, I just keep thinking about it. They have been there several months, I don’t think they are going away, but she said there are not any big red signs for them being cancerous.

    I guess I need to just work on accepting what the doctors tell me. And it is hard to not play the what if game.
    Last edited by UserName20; 08-07-20 at 15:52.

  2. #2
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    What tactics do you use to not focus on "what if's".

    Why do you just keep thinking about it?

  3. #3
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    If you want to make absolutely sure it sounds like you should visit one of these doctors. Have you been applying the warm compresses?
    __________________
    Just keep going folks. It may be difficult, but it's worth it!

  4. #4
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    I am just afraid of bad news and also going to doctors right now because of the virus. I feel like I am starting to spiral a bit after having a couple of good weeks. Even though two doctors have looked at pictures of them and don’t seem overly concerned, that alarm in my head is just going off constantly. Last night in the middle of the night I started to feel weird bubbly feelings in my legs, that freaked me out. I woke up this morning and sneezed which turned into a bloody nose, I’ve been getting quite a bit of them lately, of course that worried me. Now I am back to feeling short of breath, a typical anxiety symptom for myself. But in my anxious mind, it guarantees my lymphoma fear.

    After going back and forth and back and forth fighting myself on paying for therapy I have an online therapy session set up tomorrow and an appointment soon for my medicine to possibly be upped. In the mean time I am doing as the doctor said and putting a warm compress on the area, and trying to remember the things that the doctor reminded me are are reassuring about the bumps. She seemed mainly concerned about making sure they do not get infected. I need to remember I am not a doctor and I do not know more than them!
    Last edited by UserName20; 09-07-20 at 16:33.

  5. #5
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    I have been applying the warm compress. On one of the bumps it is kind of tender right now. After the warm compress I squeezed it ( maybe not the best idea ) to see if I could pop it but just a little bit of pus came out after the warm rag was on it. They are not firm bumps or anything, and I have even really worried about lymphoma but they are barely even bumps, and definitely are not hard. The doctor said they did not look like skin cancer to her and that with the location it would be unlikely. The one is a bit tender since I messed with it, so I am just going to try and leave it alone besides the warm compress.


    On another note, tonight I was in a car accident. I was driving and a lady pulled out and I layed on my horn but it was too late and she hit me. Thank goodness her and I were both okay. I was pretty shook up, but after I got home I realized that the cops I talked to nor the lady and myself did not have masks on. In that moment I was not thinking to put it on, my mind was obviously racing. My parents came and my mom just kinda mentioned afterwards that we should have had masks on, so I am a bit worried about that now. The lady who hit me was a nurse just coming out of her shift.

  6. #6

    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    I can’t figure Out how to start a new post!!! Can anyone help me?

  7. #7
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    I had my first therapy session yesterday. It was more of just an answer question session though and my therapist said she was trying to make a personalized treatment plan for me. She told me that she is going to do a combination of strength based therapy to work on my self esteem with combination of CBT. I will have a one hour session once a week and she is giving me worksheets to work on in between. It was nice to talk to her, she really asked me some good questions and I feel like I even learned a little about myself.

    I have been trying to keep myself busy the most that I can with this pandemic going on. At times I feel more willing to accept that these bumps may not kill me, and then other times I am checking them and prodding them constantly. My mom came home from work and told me that one side of her nose was stuffy and told me she was scared this meant she had covid. She kept asking me for reassurance and at that point it really started to freak me out. This morning she woke up and said that her nose is fine, but she isn’t sure if she can smell or taste right and told me that she is very worried again that she has covid so that obviously set me off a bit. I woke up with a stomach ache, and I told her and I honestly was not too worried about it until she freaked out about it and now I am very anxious about that. She has been constantly asking me for reassurance and it’s hard to give reassurance when now I’m worried too. I’m not in the best place myself.

    I don’t know why she thinks she’s being funny. She told my dad that she has covid and she said “I think she has the covid too.” She knows how I am. I don’t know why she thinks getting me all worked up is funny. Now I am worried and keep checking my temperature.
    Last edited by UserName20; 11-07-20 at 20:39.

  8. #8
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    I'm sorry you're struggling. I can't relate for sure. My anxiety has been in an excellent place for a very long time now and then the pandemic hit. It wasn't even like the pandemic sparked my health anxiety either. My family and I got into a routine pretty quickly and my fear of the virus has remained pretty low because we don't go anywhere.

    Way back in April I planned to have surgery this week and thought I was ok. I was nervous, but mostly in the way a normal person would feel nervous about a big surgery, not the big health anxiety catastrophizing nervousness. But, then when the day came I couldn't do it. It wasn't until then that I realized how much this pandemic is really beating me (and all of us probably) down. I had acclimated to our new life and not really noticed how much it was affecting my overall mental health and ability to cope with things. I think that could also be why you've been doing so well but are having trouble coping with the bumps on your arm. Also, virtual visits just aren't the same. We need human contact, even if it's just a doctor looking at your body and telling you face to face that you're fine.

    I can also sympathize about your mom. My mom has anxiety also - it's why I have it - and despite understanding exactly where she's coming from when she's anxiety I get so frustrated when she seeks reassurance from me because it always sparks my own anxiety. Then I get both anxious and resentful because I can see my own anxiety mirrored.

    I'll say that, with surgery planned I had gone to a few pre-op appointments and it wasn't as scary as I expected. If you really want to be seen talk to the office and find out their protocol. I was able to wait in the car until it was time to be seen and then walk right into the exam room with my doctor and right back out again with no other interactions. They didn't take a copay or anything at the visit.

  9. #9
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    Thank you for your response! Yes, I believe mine stems from seeing my mother be anxious all of these years. My sister had anxiety about health things as well. For example, my sister has not been able to sleep well for a few months. Her doctors tell her it’s anxiety, but she is convinced it is fatal insomnia syndrome. Her doctor’s told her that it is incredibly rare and not to worry about that, but then my mom is always asking me “but what if she does have it?? What if the doctors aren’t taking her seriously? I read online it kills the people in 12-18 months... you don’t think she has it do you? If she had it it is hereditary which means we could all have it...” and conversations like that really get me anxious.

    In regard to the bumps, they have all gone down so they are not really bumps anymore. So logically, things getting smaller usually does not mean cancer. Also, after doing the warm compress the one that was a bump had pus come out of it and it has now gone down too. I have one that is still a bump, but it is painful and gets irritated by shaving. The doctor told me they don’t look like cancer, and that with the location it is unlikely, so I do feel some relief reminding myself of that.

    I have my first actual therapy session tomorrow via video chat. Hoping it will go well.
    Last edited by UserName20; 12-07-20 at 20:08.

  10. #10
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    Re: Working on accepting what doctors tell me

    As I said in the past I video chatted two doctors about these 2 now 3 bumps in my armpit. I popped one of them which was full of puss. I then developed another bump right above it which began as being painful and went down but then went up again and was again filled with blood and pus. I went to my regular doctor yesterday to show him. He examined the three bumps and pressed them for about 10 seconds and then told me he believed it’s infected hair molecules and to be safe in case it is a staph infection he will call me in an antibiotic along with a cream. He really did not seem concerned at all but it really freaked me out. My mom told me that staph infections are scary which obviously set me off a bit. I guess on the bright side he did not jump to cancer as my mind does, ( shocker, right!) and he really was not concerned at all so I guess I shouldnt be either. As soon as I said “I was worried because on google I read-“ he immediately cut me off and repeated folliculitis.

    I am continuing my medication and therapy, and I have had two sessions so far and I really like the therapist and I feel like I will learn a lot.
    Last edited by UserName20; 24-07-20 at 15:05.

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