im just so tired of this year, it seems as though it just keeps getting worse and worse, not only in general, but in my own personal life as well. because of the pandemic, my anxiety's gotten much worse and mixed with the muscle issues in my neck that have become chronic, it's made it very hard to properly function. my depression is through the roof, i dont think i've ever been this low in my life. im unbelievably tired of worrying about my mom or dad getting sick, my mom was having a coughing fit (she's not sick dont worry) in her room and it made me almost break down into tears because i thought she might've caught COVID...

i have a doctors appt on the 16th as well, and im terrified that the docs arent going to know what to do about my muscle issues in my neck, and just send me away with muscle relaxers instead of looking into why and what's going on. im also terrified of catching COVID in the office and possibly spreading it to my parents.... im tired of just WORRYING over everything. the unknown is one of my greatest fears and i keep staring into it everyday. i don't know what to do anymore, i would give literally anything in order for my life to go back to normal and for me to feel good again. i miss feeling good, i miss feeling carefree, i miss being HAPPY. i feel like crying at the moment because im just so TIRED, and i need something to give because i cant keep living like this anymore.


thank you for your time, hugs are very very very much appreciated ;;