Hi everyone,
I have used this site for about four years now, and in that short time I have posted about my anxiety, regarding a wide range of different subjects but MAINLY health anxiety. I just wanted to offer my thoughts about my symptoms today, and to try and help anyone else who is suffering from HA.
Today, my brain has tried to convince myself that I have had: COPD, HIV, heart disease, a heart attack, asthma, diabetes type 2, and now prostatitis... ohh and I mustn't forget pneumothorax.
Reading that back just makes me laugh but I know for a fact that it is a common theme amongst anxiety sufferers. That we convince ourself, no matter what evidence we have to the contrary, that we must have some severe illness because of a trivial symptom we have been suffering with.
And what makes it worse, is that most of us are probably aware of the fact that we are unlikely to be severely ill, but we still have feelings of overwhelming anxiety. For example, I was running for a train earlier, and when I sat down on the train, I was concerned as to why I was slightly out of breath. Instead of focusing on the obvious (the fact I was running 30 seconds previously and probably increased my heart rate and thus, my respiratory rate), I began to focus on the slight unpleasantness of the feeling. In turn, I began thought swirlling in my head, about the possibility of having asthma, and because of having asthma, catching Coronavirus and then dying because I am in a high risk group (even though it is extremely unlikely to die of covid-19 even when in a high risk group, just look at the facts), but then surely no, I can't have asthma? I must have something worse, something imminently life threatening. A heart attack!?
Spoiler alert. I didn't have a heart attack. I'm not sure what my point is with this post, but I feel like today I finally realised the insignificance of thoughts. Even if I do have asthma, the most logical thing to do is to go and see a GP and get it checked right? There is no point in worrying about it in the present, as at that moment, I was on a train, and there was nothing I could do about it.
In the past, I have worried about having so many illnesses, starting from when I was 17 years old. Pancreatic cancer, bladder cancer, oesophagus cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, heart cancer, lung cancer, cancer of the thyroid, throat cancer, skin cancer... and do you know how many times my self-diagnosis was correct? 0% of the time. Exactly 0%.
I am not shrugging off the severity of disease. There are dangerous illnesses out there, I admit, but the likelihood of having multiple life threatening diseases simulationaneously and dying imminently are incredibly slim. What I'm trying to say is, the illness you think you have, you most probably don't.
I would promote healthy living however, especially in HA sufferers. I am not here to preach, but smoking 100 cigarettes a day is going to raise your likelihood of developing lung cancer quite a bit, and that isn't anxious thoughts, that's a fact. In this case, one could use their anxiety about lung cancer or cancer in general as a stimulus to cut down on cigarettes, or to start living healthier. As I have started to do this myself, I have become more at peace with the uncertainty of life.
If anything I have written has promoted any anxiety in any of you I wholeheartedly apologise, as I was aiming to do the opposite. My overall aim is to illustrate that for all of us here on the No More Panic forum, the most dangerous illness that any of us have in common is anxiety, and that illness must be given as much attention as any physical ailment.
God bless and I hope you all have a speedy recovery from any anxiety you may be feeling,
Anxiouscow
PS. I had appendicitis when I was 18, and the pain was EXCRUCIATING. I have spoken to many people in all walks of life, including my father, who has heart problems, and I can assure you that a heart attack is not vague. You would not be reading this article and typing a reply if you were suffering from one. When I had appendicitis, I knew I had something wrong with me. Severe illness is almost always not vague, and warning signs will almost always not be trivial (however, I am not a doctor so follow any medical advice you have been given, and if you are unsure, please please see a trained and qualified physician).
Reply With Quote
