Hey,

I’ve tried to stay away from this place and tried to manage my health anxiety in general and have been doing ok for maybe a year or so. But I’ve recently spiraled once again with lymph nodes and just wanted to write it down somewhere for people who “get it” and maybe get some third party perspective.

So to back up, I felt a lump in the back of my neck in 2015 and went to get it checked out bc I was freaking out. My doctor said she was going to do a CBC and an ultrasound for my peace of mind but she didn’t feel anything concerning. I was lucky to get all of that done within 24 hours and she called to say there was nothing concerning on the ultrasound. I put the issue behind me and vowed never to touch my neck again.

Now, a few weeks ago, I rediscovered this same lump in the back as well as another toward the front. I tried rationalizing that this was nothing but I kept poking and prodding and couldn’t shake it (I even read the sticky post here to try to stay calm and even that wasn’t doing it for me.)

I went back to the same doctor and she said she didn’t feel anything concerning but she would once again order an ultrasound for my peace of mind. I had actually just had a CBC a few weeks prior for my annual check up and all looked good there. This time I had to wait almost 2 weeks to get into the ultrasound and then later that afternoon she called again to say nothing looked concerning and she wouldn’t worry about it.

The story should end there, right? But nope, because I logged onto my portal to actually read my report and I’m seeing a BUNCH of red flags.

It lists the measurements of one as 7mm x 1cm x 2mm and another is listed as 1.7cm x 2mm with no third measurement, and then randomly says 7mm in another sentence. I almost wonder if this 7mm has to be the short axis measurement of the second node because otherwise the measurement makes no sense and the node would be the shape of a skinny pencil? But who knows.

I look at this and I think—ok are there THREE nodes or are those last three measurements all referencing the second node?

Then I think, holy s***, these are 1cm and 1.7 cm!!! Aren’t they supposed to be under 1cm??? And no, I haven’t had a recent infection to make them reactive.

Then I googled about ratios for benign lymph nodes and the long axis/short axis should be >2 for a nice oval appearance and that nodes <2 of a more round appearance can be malignant. Well my first node’s ratio is only 1.4 (1cm/7mm).

Then, the radiologist makes no mention of which node is which, and acts as if they didn’t even bother to do a comparison to the 2015 u/s which they said they would. In 2015, that posterior node measured 8mm x 1.3cm x 3mm, something I just found out NOW, 5 years later, because I was looking at the archives in my portal. So I feel like, wait, why am I trusting a radiologist who can’t even label these properly and fails to compare them to a previous report? And why am I trusting a doctor who allows that to happen?

Lastly, the “impression” on the report labels these as “indeterminate” but without a neoplastic appearance. My doctor never mentioned that this was an indeterminate finding! So why did she blow it off? Don’t indeterminate findings warrant further investigation?

So now I am fighting this internal battle where I know that my health anxiety causes me to seek reassurance and then even question that reassurance, but my black and white facts mind says “wait a minute! There are some mathematical facts here that concern me, and some steps that appear not to have been taken!”

So yeah, that’s where I am at. I am thinking of calling the radiologist directly and demanding more report details on Monday.