panic again

[claire jenkins]

Hi, I'm new to this and NEVER EVER shared anything on email with people I don't know. So this is a first for me (maybe this is my first step to helping myself?).

Anyway, I suffered my first panic attack back in about 1996. I don't really know why I did but looking back I was pretty miserable and low in general and I had a very selfish boyfriend who was a bit of a bully emotionally. I also hate confrontations and therefore seem to play my cards close to my chest and bottle up feelings.

After my first attack happened I was very nervous and knew I had had my first panic attack. From there on it was a vicious circle BUT I did eventually conquer it through exercise, positive thinking, relaxation, treating myself to facials, head massage, back massage, and the anxiety eventually after about 12 months petered out and went completely. I was able to get back on the underground tube, go in lifts - you name it, I could do it!

Anyway, completely out of the blue I suffered a panic attack about 2 weeks ago whilst I was in bed trying to get to sleep. For the last 2 weeks it's been pretty awful at night time because I now associate a panic attack with bedtime. It takes me ages to get off to sleep and I lay awake, trying to breathe properly to get myself through the waves of panic that 'try' to come over me. I've kind of managed to get through the anxious feelings and have eventually fallen off to sleep. But last night I had a really bad attack of the shakes. I was quite upset that this had happened because I felt that the attack had won - when for the last week or so I'd been fighting them off. So now I'm paranoid that I'm now going to experience an even worse attack of the shakes or something even more horrible.

I haven't yet seen my doctor but feel that I should because obviously I cannot avoid going to bed each night, so I'm hoping the doc will help me. Additionally does anyone have any recommendations on how I can be peaceful just before bedtime (I've done the usual bubble baths, reading). I'm quite on edge at the moment because my sleeping pattern is really mucked up and I start getting really worried when it's time to get in to bed.

My lovely boyfriend is very supportive but he's never had an attack so it's hard for him to understand properly.

Anyway, it's a relief in itself just to tell whoever's reading this.

Love Claire x

[Meg]

Welcome Claire - Glad you made it here !!

I've just copied and added to what I sent you via email earlier today..

Betablockers help stop your heart racing and can sometimes assist with the symptoms of panic. Not for ashmatics.

It’s worth taking a Vit B too.


It is highly likely that it’s the big changes again that are ahead that you’re thinking about that have just overloaded you a bit much.

Bedtime is often a time for reflection and letting thoughts drift and perhaps that’s what set it off. Also, because you've been aware that you've been fighting the feelings and working yourself up to extra worry these last few days.

I’m sure you’re already doing all the right things to relax yourself but these won’t be vastly successful if you’re telling yourself subconsciously about how awful it will be..


You could try going for an active walk in the late evening and keeping your mind heavily occupied on something else or if you know you’re dwelling on things try taking some time to just write it out – just for you. Write feelings, issues as well as plans for moving back to London etc It’s like talk therapy for yourself. A familiar relaxation tape that you know and play often can be really helpful in these situations.Find one that feel right and play it each day whether you're fine or not.Soon it will create a relaxation space whenever you play it and that includes getting you off to sleep.
Valarium root can also be very effective-

Nytol won’t prevent panic but may well decrease the amount of time you lie awake so perhaps take it routinely for a few days earlier to see if you can’t avoid that part..

Good news about going to Yoga- have you been going long ? I go to one at 8 pm and I always sleep excellently that night.





Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[jonny]

Hi Claire,

I am new to this site too and i really feel for you because i, like everyone else on here, knows exactly what panic is all about and how horrible it is. But you will win through, you will i guarnatee it.

You have been down this road before haven't you? And you seem to know all the right things to do - staying positive ect.. So keep telling yourself that this spell is just a minor setback and your old self will be back very soon.
As for bedtime i am sure that Radar has given you all the best advice for relaxing and you should listen to her as in my opinion she seems to know her stuff.
But
If you are anything like me, you can do all the relaxing you can but when it comes to turning out that light and laying in the dark those feelings just seem to come back again and again. So my advice is this:

Let the damn thing come and do its worse BECAUSE YOU ARE BIGGER THAN IT. Let it come and then show it that you ain't scared. You will come through it, it cannot kill you as it is only your body, your thoughts and your feelings. And after all you have beaten it before.
I know that you have probably heard all this before about not fueling the fire with more fear but it is so true. I have learnt that adding second fear (fear of fear) to any attack will only make it stronger and more dramatic, so let them first feelings come and watch them fade away. Do not respond to them.
I am sure that i am winning my battle if not won it. Now if only i could get to grips with my depression!!!!

Chin up kid,

Jon

[nlancashire]

Hello Claire

I think it would be worthwhile to visit your GP as at times anxiety and depression can be linked, one bringing on the other.

I found that anti depressants in themselves have an affect on tackling panic attacks.

Neil

[Meg]

Jonny -

Depression is exactly the same as panic and anxiety - You're just replacing the fear with unworthiness.

In panic - we do lots of 'What if'and 'Yes buts' and feel fear which can prevent us from flying.

In depression - we do lots of 'why me' 'if only' 'I can't' and feel sad which prevents us from flying . Listen out for your own internal catch phrase.

I'm in no way saying it's easy to get rid of either panic or depression BUT use the same formula.
When black clouds strike - change the depressing thought patterns to something both realistic and uplifting.
Think back to previous successes and repeat these to yourself continually.
Do pleasant things for yourself, keep the humour going.

Know that you are beating panic and dealing with many other things in your life so you can sort out your depression too..especially if it only came with panic. Once you're finished with one then deal with the next...

We only have to face one minute at a time.






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Hi claire

Welcome to the site - glad to see you found us.

Radar has excellent advice for everyone and I am sure her advice will help you to.

Maybe you could pop in the chat room one night to say hi - after 9pm is good

Keep working at it - we will get there



Nicola

[jennie]

I'm quite overwhelmed by the reponse I've had from people on this site. I have never shared my feelings/worries with anyone other than maybe my closest friends. I feel so much better just by reading your advice and knowing that you know how I feel. Thank you.

Thank you Jon for the advice on depression. I must admit I do get very sad feelings from time to time (usually they're about people I love - dying on me).

I'm going to visit the doctor on Monday who will, hopefully, help me.

Last night I went to the gym and had a hard workout, came home had supper, took my bach rescue remedy and had a cup of camomile tea. I then took 2 nytol which made me feel quite fuzzy. I was shaking and nervous when I got in to bed and tried to relax. It still took me ages to get to sleep because my adrenalin was pumping and I was nervy - but - the waves of panic didn't seem to rise as much, they seemed much more 'toned down'. Maybe I can put this down to the nytol. Anyway I eventually got off to sleep and woke up this morning feeling better than I had done for ages. Today I almost feel 'myself'! I don't know what tomorrow will be like or the next day - but most importantly I feel because I did all those nice positive things for myself last night - it weakened the attack and I felt that I'd won, that I was in control now. I know I've still got a way to go but am positive I'll beat this as I did before.

Thanks again for your support.

c

jennie

[twister]

Well Done you sound like you're doing really well!

Stay positive!

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jennie

Isn't a lovely feeling to wake up and feel human for once :-)

Obviously something you did last night has helped so try it again tonight and then tomorrow you will just as bright again.

Once you break the cycle of whatever it is that makes you panicky, you are half way there to winning the battle.

Good luck


Nicola

[Meg]

Excellent !!! Great progress

When you're in bed , play a relaxation tape that you're getting familar with .. that should help the 'trying' to get to sleep bit soon.

Hope Yoga goes well tomorrow. I hope it's one that teaches a meditation/relaxation at the end. Take a blanket/throw with you. Enjoy !



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...