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Thread: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

  1. #1
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    Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    This morning I was thinking back to when I was a young child (from about 4-6 years old) and I vividly remember my mom warning me whenever we were inside certain shops and the like that if I played up or messed with anything in there, the man (or lady) who run the place would smack me really hard. She also used to make threats about having me carted off to the 'naughty boys' home' that was run by nasty men who whacked the kids in there with big sticks that they used the money to spend on instead of light bulbs!!

    I know it may have been said in jest (and probably also out of desperation) at the time, and I forgive her now all these years later for scaring me witless at the time, but I am interested to know if anyone else on here was ever on the receiving end of such extreme warnings/threats from their parents as kids, and to whether they believe it was justified at the time, etc?

    P. S, Please try not to turn this thread into a 'kids today'-bashing match.

  2. #2
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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Well yes, of course parents lie. Santa Clause, for example.

  3. #3
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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Oh l remember my mum always told me l would go to the nuns home if l was naughty and they would sort me out, at the time it was scary if l ever saw a nun l would hide, l understand why she would say it l was one of six looking back she must of been demented with us all xx


    best wishes

  4. #4
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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Oh yes - "put up for fostering" is one I got.

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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Quote Originally Posted by MRS STRESS ED View Post
    Oh l remember my mum always told me l would go to the nuns home if l was naughty and they would sort me out, at the time it was scary if l ever saw a nun l would hide, l understand why she would say it l was one of six looking back she must of been demented with us all xx


    best wishes
    I've read and heard a fair few horror stories about nuns abusing kids in their care from over the years, though probably less commonplace today with more stringent legislation in place concerning childcare.

    Regarding the 'naughty boys' home' threats I mentioned in my opening post, by coincidence a number of children's homes in my county of Staffordshire (run by the County Council) were involved in the notorious 'Pindown' scandal of the mid-late 80s (approximately 1983-89), where a lot of kids with challenging behaviours placed in care were treated in extremely harsh and punitive ways (partly fuelled by the chronic austerity measures of that period) with those places often employing unscrupulous staff members with little to no formal qualifications on a 'first come first served' basis, and often being blasť about the dubious antics of the staff members concerned.

    Another two corkers from my mom:

    First, was when my younger brother was about 2-3 years old, the one day he was looking through a couple of children's books that my mom had borrowed from our local library for him and myself to read and she warned 'Don't you dare rip those books or the lady at the library will smack your bum'!!

    Second, when I was about 7, one day I was standing on the settee in our living room (with no shoes or slippers on) and she suddenly came into the room and screamed at me 'If I ever catch you standing on the settee again I will take you to the police station'!!

    I can't imagine a librarian actually physically chastising a young toddler for damaging books borrowed from there, more likely giving the parents the bill to pay for the damage.

    Also had my mom literally carted me off down to our local nick over the settee incident, they would have probably told her to sort the problem out herself and to stop wasting police time over trivial things like that. And it's most certainly not the job of shopkeepers, etc to discipline little kids who misbehave within their establishments, but would (in the worst-case scenarios) probably just simply ask the whole family concerned to leave.
    Last edited by Lencoboy; 04-08-20 at 13:08.

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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Well yes, of course parents lie. Santa Clause, for example.
    I don't really consider the Santa thing a big deal, it's been a remarkable thing of fantasy for kids the world over since time immemorial, though it obviously becomes far less significant beyond the age of 8, when most kids naturally stop believing in it and finally realise it's nothing more than just another fairy tale, same with the tooth fairy thing.

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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lencoboy View Post
    I don't really consider the Santa thing a big deal, it's been a remarkable thing of fantasy for kids the world over since time immemorial, though it obviously becomes far less significant beyond the age of 8, when most kids naturally stop believing in it and finally realise it's nothing more than just another fairy tale, same with the tooth fairy thing.
    I wasn't suggesting it was a big deal, but it is technically a lie.

    Your examples from your childhood however, bigger deal imo. There's a defined line between discipline and mild abuse.

    As a parent, I get it. Using fear to elicit a disciplinary response is attractive after you've been worn down by the little buggers, but it's not a tactic I care to use. Actually, the exception being dangerous behaviour. If I ever catch them doing something really stupid, I will exaggerate the potential consequences if I feel the need.

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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    I wasn't suggesting it was a big deal, but it is technically a lie.

    Your examples from your childhood however, bigger deal imo. There's a defined line between discipline and mild abuse.

    As a parent, I get it. Using fear to elicit a disciplinary response is attractive after you've been worn down by the little buggers, but it's not a tactic I care to use. Actually, the exception being dangerous behaviour. If I ever catch them doing something really stupid, I will exaggerate the potential consequences if I feel the need.
    My parents has never been full-on abusive nor malicious in any way, but they (especially my mom) were probably just going by the prevailing norms of the time, and no doubt due to the ways they might have been brought up themselves, though I agree that those methods of discipline might be considered mild abuse by today's standards, but I have no desire to shop my parents over it all these years later.

  9. #9
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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    here's another one Lencoboy mum told me never to swallow my chewing gum because it would wrap around my heart 🤯 and die I wonder why l have extreme anxiety

    l don't think my mum was thinking she was a stress head like me

    best wishes xx

  10. #10
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    Re: Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

    I've got to be so careful with what I say to my children in view of their ASD. The fear factor has the potential to do long term damage. I always remember when a playground assistant told my daughter she would cut her tongue off with scissors if she didn't stop talking...She's never forgotten that! This was at a special school too!

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