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Thread: Third time's the charm?..Right?

  1. #21
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    May 2020
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    197

    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aleman200 View Post
    Day 9 - Today was the worst day since i started taking the citalopram. I woke up at 3am in an anxiety induced panic. Managed to fall back asleep and woke up yet again at 7am. THis time I got out of bed and got moving around, took my tablet at 9 because i went out with my parents to do some shopping. I was okay on the anxiety front while out and about but my right calf has felt very tight while walking around lately, and since getting a positive d-dimer yesterday (this apparently showed up because im healing from surgery). I've been terrified i have a clot in my leg, it only ever hurts when im walking, not sitting down though. It's odd.
    Citalopram messes with your head at first its horrible it will take a good few weeks to settle down. I started it again 13th june & now i’m going upto 30 mg which i’ve never done before only ever took 20 mg on all my previous start ups, guess i must have really lost it this time on the nerves/ anxiety front. I do feel a bit better but i suppose i’m looking for a miracle which is not going to happen but we’ve got to have hope haven’t we.

  2. #22
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    Jan 2017
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    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsmum View Post
    I started it again 13th june & now iím going upto 30 mg which iíve never done before only ever took 20 mg on all my previous start ups, guess i must have really lost it this time on the nerves/ anxiety front. I do feel a bit better but i suppose iím looking for a miracle which is not going to happen but weíve got to have hope havenít we.
    It may require a progressively higher dose each time an AD is restarted to achieve previous levels of control, the side-effects may be more severe and/or different than before and it may take longer for the med to kick-in too.
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  3. #23
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    Jan 2016
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    344

    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    I forgot to update this recently but here we go! The main common symptom that's carried on since i started them was the incredible anxiety for the first hours in the morning and waking up at 7 am constantly. Which sucks. Days 10 - 12 have roughly been the same all round. I wake up, panic for a while, then somehow manage to get out of bed and get busy. If you've followed my health anxiety thread, i've seen the GP about various things which seems to all amount to anxiety. Lately i've been feeling some really bad fear of getting old and age dysphoria. I'm 29 but I feel much older compared to my friends, most of which are only a year younger. It's been upsetting, I went with my parents to help their friends move in they're 80 years old, and one has survived a stroke and they're loving life. But, to me I was terrified of getting older. I'm sure once the Citalopram kicks in I'll forget about it like I did before. But for now i'm really hating these intrusive thoughts. My GP has prescribed me 20mg to go up to, he wants me on that for three months and then we'll review. I am going to York for 3 days soon and I'll be moving back to London in about a week and a half, with that in mind I asked If i could stay on 10mg and then take the 20mg when i'm back and settled in London. He said that's fine, Delaying the dosage increase for a short while won't cause problems, he would have seen me at 3 weeks anyway.
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  4. #24
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    Aug 2012
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    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Yeah, Week 2 was very tough for me too, but the good news is that Weeks 3 and 4 should be a bit better. I'm now on Day 29 (or Day 8 of 20mg), and this week has been better than the last, and last week was better than the week before that. The progress appears to be very slow and gradual, but at least it's given me hope that I will be able to recover again, just like I did 5 years ago.

    Your thoughts about getting older are very similar to mine. A few weeks ago (this was actually just a few days before my anxiety got really bad), I went for a walk with my parents and eldest sister, and we walked past one of my sister's neighbour's bungalow - they were an elderly couple and the lady chatted to us and said we could look at their fish pond. The lady looked fairly fit and healthy, but the man looked very aged and frail, and he was also in a wheelchair. He was still doing some gardening, though. This triggered some thoughts about getting older, thinking that this must be awful for him and I hope I don't end up like that when I'm older! Of course, there was really no way I could know that the man wasn't still happy with his life. I managed to put it out of my mind reasonably quickly, as this was before my anxiety had got bad again, but even then I could tell I was heading downhill with my anxiety and depression. This memory popped into my head again because I visited my sister a couple of days ago - when we drove past that neighbour's bungalow, I noticed they now had a tall wooden fence instead of a hedge in front of their garden, and you could no longer see the pond - I mentioned this to my sister and she said it's probably because the elderly man doesn't want the trouble of cutting the hedge any more.

  5. #25
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    Jan 2016
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    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkle1984 View Post
    Yeah, Week 2 was very tough for me too, but the good news is that Weeks 3 and 4 should be a bit better. I'm now on Day 29 (or Day 8 of 20mg), and this week has been better than the last, and last week was better than the week before that. The progress appears to be very slow and gradual, but at least it's given me hope that I will be able to recover again, just like I did 5 years ago.

    Your thoughts about getting older are very similar to mine. A few weeks ago (this was actually just a few days before my anxiety got really bad), I went for a walk with my parents and eldest sister, and we walked past one of my sister's neighbour's bungalow - they were an elderly couple and the lady chatted to us and said we could look at their fish pond. The lady looked fairly fit and healthy, but the man looked very aged and frail, and he was also in a wheelchair. He was still doing some gardening, though. This triggered some thoughts about getting older, thinking that this must be awful for him and I hope I don't end up like that when I'm older! Of course, there was really no way I could know that the man wasn't still happy with his life. I managed to put it out of my mind reasonably quickly, as this was before my anxiety had got bad again, but even then I could tell I was heading downhill with my anxiety and depression. This memory popped into my head again because I visited my sister a couple of days ago - when we drove past that neighbour's bungalow, I noticed they now had a tall wooden fence instead of a hedge in front of their garden, and you could no longer see the pond - I mentioned this to my sister and she said it's probably because the elderly man doesn't want the trouble of cutting the hedge any more.
    I'm definitely feeling less panic-attacks since starting so i'm hoping even though it's my third time round I will get better. I'm able to realise even though im not feeling anxious - sub consciously I am.

    Yes I think so too, my age dysphoria came on quite heavily recently because of the heightened anxiety I think. It's hard to deal with the intrusive thoughts. I know many older people probably live a much more fulfilling and happier life than me right now but it still terrifies me.
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  6. #26
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    Jan 2016
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    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Day 13 was the same as the others.

    Day 14 - This was by far the worst day since starting the citalopram. My anxiety went through the roof, I woke up in a panic and couldn't settle down for most of the morning, I ended up having to speak to a doctor about the panic and they did some quick tests again and told me i'm fine, it's just the anxiety. He told me i've had more tests in a month then any average person has in a year. Which kind of made me realize just how bad I had gotten. After a thorough talking to and an explanation of the tests they've done over the month and why my heart isn't in danger, I went home and was absolutely exhausted emotionally and physically, I gained a post-adrenaline headache so took a paracetamol and climbed into bed. Sleep came very quickly.

    Day 15 - Today has been much better than yesterday, I still had the thoughts of heart disease while out and about today. I tried to distract myself by going to buy things for university, I picked up some new clothes and kitchen items. It was a busy day because of the bank holiday in town. I had a small mental slip and googled british hear foundation statistics and realized that the story of the 28 year old who got a congenital heart disease which triggered my fear is actually a rare condition that is usually found in babies, but very rarely later on. This served to help calm me down a bit. I've come home now and my parents are having some friends over, I've managed to eat one half of a sandwich and drink some actimel. My appetite is shot once again from yesterday. I've been managing to eat Subway sandwiches because for some reason they tickle my appetite and make me want to eat. However I don't want to eat too many of them in a week. It could be unhealthy haha. The intrusive thoughts of growing old and dying were strong again today, I parked next to an old couple outside Matalan and saw he was sat in his car waiting for his wife hooked up to an oxygen bottle. And all i could think to myself was "I really hope I don't end up like that". Which is rude to him, because he may very well be happy as hell.


    There is 10 days until I move into University at which point my dosage will increase to 20mg. Which will make it day 25 of taking 10mg. I really hope the increase solves the morning anxiety and the sleep issues.
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  7. #27
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    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Day 14 was my worst day, too! That is the day when I asked the doctor for a sick note, as I feel like I didn't sleep at all the previous night, and I felt in no fit state to do my work. Up until then, I was hoping I would be able to get away without needing any sick leave. I remember my anxiety was sky high and I also felt very low and hopeless. Thankfully, I haven't had a day as bad as that since then.
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  8. #28
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    Jan 2016
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    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkle1984 View Post
    Day 14 was my worst day, too! That is the day when I asked the doctor for a sick note, as I feel like I didn't sleep at all the previous night, and I felt in no fit state to do my work. Up until then, I was hoping I would be able to get away without needing any sick leave. I remember my anxiety was sky high and I also felt very low and hopeless. Thankfully, I haven't had a day as bad as that since then.
    I hope that's the case for me! It was definitely a horrible experience. I feel like I barely slept on that day too. Thankfully on the end of day 14 I was so exhausted from worry I just zonked straight out on my bed! I'm glad the increase seems to be helping you though Sparkle!
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  9. #29
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    Nov 2009
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    132

    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Hi Sparkle/Aleman,

    Iím currently upping my Citalopram to 30mg after relapsing on 20mg Which Iíve been on for a few years.

    Iím 6 days in at the moment and itís tough going so far. I understand you are in different circumstances as your restarting but thought Iíd send my best wishes and hope all three of us get recovery soon.

    Jeb.

  10. #30
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    Jan 2016
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    344

    Re: Third time's the charm?..Right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jebdog View Post
    Hi Sparkle/Aleman,

    I’m currently upping my Citalopram to 30mg after relapsing on 20mg Which I’ve been on for a few years.

    I’m 6 days in at the moment and it’s tough going so far. I understand you are in different circumstances as your restarting but thought I’d send my best wishes and hope all three of us get recovery soon.

    Jeb.
    Thank you Jebdog, it's a tough few weeks starting out, and I wish you the best and speediest recovery aswell.
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