Third time's the charm?..Right?

[panic_down_under]

There is 10 days until I move into University at which point my dosage will increase to 20mg. Which will make it day 25 of taking 10mg. I really hope the increase solves the morning anxiety and the sleep issues.

Why so long at 10mg/day? It probably won't lessen any increase in side-effects from upping the dose and delays kick-in. Plus, do you really want to increase the dose on the day you return to the university?

The rule of thumb on this is upping doses at intervals of less than 5 times the half-life of the med, 8 days for citalopram, may significantly raise the severity of any subsequent side-effects spike, but delaying increases won't significantly reduce it no matter how long the delay.

[Aleman200]

Hey PDU, hope you're doing well! The reason I'm waiting is because I have a lot of travelling to do to get there and didnt want the side effects if any, while doing the long journey. Due to COVID we get two weeks from when we move in to when lessons start so I was going to use that time to get used to the 20mg.

[Redsmum]

Hey PDU, hope you're doing well! The reason I'm waiting is because I have a lot of travelling to do to get there and didnt want the side effects if any, while doing the long journey. Due to COVID we get two weeks from when we move in to when lessons start so I was going to use that time to get used to the 20mg.

Good call Aleman, that makes sense. How you doing today, for the first time in ages i’ve woken up feeling calmer not shaking, i think maybe because i’ve decided on a plan of action with a few issues in my life & am determined to not carry on living half a life.

[Aleman200]

Good call Aleman, that makes sense. How you doing today, for the first time in ages i’ve woken up feeling calmer not shaking, i think maybe because i’ve decided on a plan of action with a few issues in my life & am determined to not carry on living half a life.

Good morning Redsmum! I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today, its such a nice feeling to wake up without being in panic. Im not doing great today, I wake up at 7am still constantly, and when i am awake my first thoughts are my heartbeat feels weak because I can't feel it. But in reality it's probably just because I'm relaxed!

Im beginning to have slightly better mornings each day. But im still a long way off not feeling anxious as soon as I wake up.

[Redsmum]

Good morning Redsmum! I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today, its such a nice feeling to wake up without being in panic. Im not doing great today, I wake up at 7am still constantly, and when i am awake my first thoughts are my heartbeat feels weak because I can't feel it. But in reality it's probably just because I'm relaxed!

Im beginning to have slightly better mornings each day. But im still a long way off not feeling anxious as soon as I wake up.

Its a long process Aleman, i hate that feeling of the minute your eyes open its all back again, for me i can wake up anytime from 4.30 onwards, i know its madness! Its strange how different we all are, i can honestly say i’ve never given my heart a second thought it never crosses my mind to even consider it, but when it comes to anything to do with the throat well thats a completely different matter sends me into a complete tail spin of panic, shaking constant anxiety. Utter madness but thats the way we’re made. On the BBC website was just reading about George Ezra who for his entire life has suffered from OCD but his is called PURE O where by he has these constant obtrusive thoughts & he can’t shake them of, interesting to read about, just shows it doesn’t matter who you are mental health can affect anyone. Hope you can manage to have a better day Aleman & take care, always here for a chat.

[panic_down_under]

Due to COVID we get two weeks from when we move in to when lessons start so I was going to use that time to get used to the 20mg.

Ah, okay, makes sense.

[Aleman200]

Not much to report on the tablet front. The past few days have all been the same. My worries are centred around very specific things to do with my health. Mostly worrying about heart disease, also I've been getting tight feeling in my calf again lately which I'm putting down to muscular because its been happening for the past couple of weeks on and off.

In terms of anxiety the mornings feel like they're getting worse, but i calm down before the evenings now so that's progress. I imagine when i switch to 20mg things will get better on that front. My therapist has now put me on the waiting list for CBT so that's good, just gotta wait for now.

[Redsmum]

Not much to report on the tablet front. The past few days have all been the same. My worries are centred around very specific things to do with my health. Mostly worrying about heart disease, also I've been getting tight feeling in my calf again lately which I'm putting down to muscular because its been happening for the past couple of weeks on and off.

In terms of anxiety the mornings feel like they're getting worse, but i calm down before the evenings now so that's progress. I imagine when i switch to 20mg things will get better on that front. My therapist has now put me on the waiting list for CBT so that's good, just gotta wait for now.

Hi Aleman yes evenings always seem better for me too. I’ve been on 30mg from 20mg since saturday & thankfully have had no side effects, i can honestly say something has shifted in my mindset & i am starting to feel much better, or should i say more better days than bad ones. Really hope things will happen for u soon as well. Wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, people who say snap out of it have absolutely no idea what we are going through. I’m glad you’re down for CBT I found it really helpful & i do still practice a lot of it still.

[Aleman200]

Thank you so much for your reply Redsmum, I know from previous experiences that something just clicks while you're on the medication and you start to feel better gradually. Im hoping that kicks in soon. My thoughts are all over the place at the minute. And I agree, its not something you can just kick to the curb over night thags for sure. I hope you have alot of success on 30mg!

[Aleman200]

Day 20 - For the past few days things have been feeling ever-so-slightly better than when i first started citalopram. I still get the chest ache and the calf ache, both of which I have been assured by multiple doctors is absolutely anxiety. I'm coming up to the end of my third week, most of the time Citalopram hasn't kicked in for me until week 4/5 or at least started to so hopefully things will be similar this time. I'm proud of being able to go on holiday for 3 days to York with my partner recently without needing to attend an A&E centre or GP for reassurance. Saying that, during my trip as you can tell from my HA thread, my calf began playing up after walking for extended periods of time, which would then make me focus on it and make the symptoms worse. And sure enough when I was relaxed on the bed and doing other things, the pain died away. I also had an issue where I spat some blood out when brushing my teeth, this also terrified me, despite the fact it's happened before and my dentist told me to brush better. I went out and bought an electric toothbrush and some corsodyl to just be safe. I think this fear came on because COVID has stopped my usual dentist appointments every 6 months.

Today I went for a walk around a woodland path nearby, it took me 40 minutes, and for 30 of it I was walking at a brisk pace and feeling pretty good, as soon as I was driving home I think i had a mild panic attack, my throat felt like it was closing up and my chest pain is back. Part of me is worried I won't ever recover this time round, I have even more fears of things I hadn't even thought of before. To illustrate my point and both sides of the anxiety, I went to the Yorkshire Air Museum with my partner while we were on holiday, I love World War 2 stuff and she's not overly keen but fancied looking at some planes, while we were there it was lovely weather so we sat outside in the picnic area looking at some of the planes. Next to us was an old couple with their grandson having lunch, my first initial thought was "Oh god, i'm so scared of getting old, what if my body breaks down and I can't do anything about it" which I said to my partner, and she just chuckled at me and told me to look at them again, the old guy had gotten up, was walking around and playing with his grandchild while his wife prepared some more lunch, they looked incredibly happy. This really put things into perspective for me.

Once I got back home at mid-day I felt quite tired, I'm not sure if it's from the walking, the anxiety or both. But I'm hoping things will improve soon.