Worried about melanoma at the moment

[Fishmanpa]

Let the dermatologist make this assessment....But you'll plough on regardless, won't you?

Isn't that obvious? A week in and 4 pages of watching the rabbit hole consume her Its going to play out like the other fears...

FMP

[utrocket09]

Sorry yes that's what I meant - any multicoloured mole is dysplastic, not necessarily skin cancer. I don't know if I have skin cancer right now, but I do have moles that are dysplastic so my risk of developing melanoma is high.

I'm not sure how many exactly are dysplastic. I have the big weird one on my lower back, I have a multicoloured one on my arm, so that's two at least.

I guess I'm just scared that I have loads and loads of dysplastic ones, more than I thought, and so my risk is super high.

I mean everyone is at risk of skin cancer whether they have dysplastic moles or not. My husband I know has at least 10 or more dysplastic ones. It doesn't impact our life at all. We just make sure he wears sunblock, limits time outdoors and gets checked every 6 months by the dermatologist. In fact, he is having another mole removed next week that believe is dysplastic, but not sure. This will be his 20 something mole removal.

[O_O]

Thanks for everyone's replies so far. I hope your husband's appointment goes well, utrocket.

I've been not too bad the last few days, but now I'm feeling really bad again and can't sleep.

I don't think this is health anxiety, because I actually legitimately think I might be screwed.

I have tried to remember all the sunburns I've ever had. I remember aged about 10, I burned my shoulders a bit and was surprised because I didn't know why they were sore. I'd never been burned before. The skin peeled.

Then age 15 I'm pretty sure I burned on my chest I think, and it was painful for several days.

Then in my late teens and early 20s I burned several times. I think a couple of times I may have had some small water blisters from the burns. I definitely had lots of peeling. Sometimes it was thighs, sometimes stomach, sometimes shoulders, sometimes face.

I think I've burned at least 10 times in all. I really can't be certain of the exact number.

I think of the redheads I know, who are at high risk, but most of them don't have any moles.

It's the sunburn plus all the moles that paints a very bleak picture.

I keep thinking about the mole on my retina.

I don't know what to do. Having all these moles puts me at 7x the risk or something ridiculous. The burning probably quadruples my risk again.

I don't know how often other people burn. I've never seen peeling sunburn on anyone else. They don't have many moles, either.

[utrocket09]

Thanks for everyone's replies so far. I hope your husband's appointment goes well, utrocket.

I've been not too bad the last few days, but now I'm feeling really bad again and can't sleep.

I don't think this is health anxiety, because I actually legitimately think I might be screwed.

I have tried to remember all the sunburns I've ever had. I remember aged about 10, I burned my shoulders a bit and was surprised because I didn't know why they were sore. I'd never been burned before. The skin peeled.

Then age 15 I'm pretty sure I burned on my chest I think, and it was painful for several days.

Then in my late teens and early 20s I burned several times. I think a couple of times I may have had some small water blisters from the burns. I definitely had lots of peeling. Sometimes it was thighs, sometimes stomach, sometimes shoulders, sometimes face.

I think I've burned at least 10 times in all. I really can't be certain of the exact number.

I think of the redheads I know, who are at high risk, but most of them don't have any moles.

It's the sunburn plus all the moles that paints a very bleak picture.

I keep thinking about the mole on my retina.

I don't know what to do. Having all these moles puts me at 7x the risk or something ridiculous. The burning probably quadruples my risk again.

I don't know how often other people burn. I've never seen peeling sunburn on anyone else. They don't have many moles, either.

I am a redhead and burn easy. I have had peeling sunburns and have freckles and moles. I am at high risk of skin cancer, does that high risk run my life...nope. You can't let a what if or a high risk of something ruin your life.

[O_O]

Having some moles is normal, I think it's only when it's 50+ that it gets problematic - but yh I think being red haired does increase your risk. It's good that you're philosophical about it. I am struggling with that.

I think it's because I don't know my exact risk level.

I suspect it could be more likely than not that I get melanoma.

I'm worried I may already have it - I've just never paid any attention to my moles before so I might not notice any changes.

I've tried to have a look at them all over the last few days, and compare them to random old photos of myself, and I haven't really noticed any obvious new moles or changes to existing ones. But as I said I do have some that look weird.

The one on my arm is bothering me... it just looks different from the rest. I have no idea how long it's been two colours for.

[pulisa]

You're not a dermatologist though, Jenny..It's just that melanoma has become the new focus for your HA and the morbid fascination in the subject has taken root.

[O_O]

I know that I have definitely become obsessed with it, and that worrying doesn't help... but this really is something I'm high risk for. I'm probably more high risk for this than anything else.

I think the four fears I've had have been pretty legit... well, the first one that set everything off was the general anaesthesia fear during my second miscarriage which wasn't rational but I was pretty badly mentally ill at that point I think. And even now I can't explain the 'premonition' so most of the time I just try not to think about it.

Then I had the infertility / recurrent miscarriage fear, and was diagnosed with those things.

Then I had the lymphoma fear, and my GP literally seemed to think I had lymphoma. So it was a great relief that it "only" ended up being toxoplasmosis (which may have been a contributing factor to my third miscarriage).

Now melanoma, which I will be high risk for and have to monitor as long as I live.

I don't know how I'll be able to monitor the moles on my back properly at home as I'm single. I'll have to get a friend to check them or something.

Or maybe I have already had melanoma for years and it's too late.

I don't know if I should try to have a child again if I am so high risk for this disease. I wouldn't want to orphan my child.

I feel overwhelmed, and I've cancelled all of my walks and social activities. I was going to go on a date this evening but I'm going to cancel.

[pulisa]

Please don't..Get away from all this melanoma spiralling and go out. You'll just get ill again if you narrow everything down to melanoma fear and obsession for the next 2 weeks.

[BlueIris]

This is what I've said, repeatedly, because I've been there and it took me years (about 3) to get out.

It drives me loopy that my advice is being ignored.

[O_O]

Sorry Blue, I don't mean to ignore your advice, but I can't seem able to look at this situation positively atm.