Just want to feel normal

[Redsmum]

Sick & tired of feeling shaky & so depressed & anxious. I’m on 20 mg citalopram since 13 th june (first 2 weeks 10mg) the last 3 times i’ve started on it i’m sure i felt better quicker. Just can’t find joy in anything, had my two gorgeous grandchildren at weekend & quite frankly i was just going thru the motions which i don’t want to be like i want to enjoy every moment with them. I feel like i’m just willing the day to be over without me having a melt down. Husband who i work with doesn’t understand which makes me resentful that i’ m going thru this & it doesn’t even register with him, he doesn’t get how debilitating mental illness is. If anyone realised how i felt inside most days they would be shocked that anyone could even function let alone drive the miles i do for work, i must be a very good actress to hide it. Sorry to ramble just needed to vent. Hope everyone can manage to have a good day.

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry you're having such an awful time right now.

Is it worth having a chat with your GP?

[Redsmum]

Hi blue iris i’m thinking should i go upto 30mg

[BlueIris]

Might not hurt; I'm not the expert but I do take cit and if it's been 2 months I think you should probably be feeling better by now.

[Redsmum]

Might not hurt; I'm not the expert but I do take cit and if it's been 2 months I think you should probably be feeling better by now.

Yes i think so to, i feel i’ve gone into a deep depression which i haven’t had before so will have a word with dr, just want to get out of this deep black hole😥

[BlueIris]

You'll get there, I have faith in you. Feel free to drop me a line if you just want to chat.

[Redsmum]

You'll get there, I have faith in you. Feel free to drop me a line if you just want to chat.

Thanks blue iris you’re a kind lady & your thoughts are much appreciated, take care

[MRS STRESS ED]

Hi Redsmum

really sorry to hear your feeling like this, to be honest its not surprising the way things are at the moment

l I'm going through it myself at the moment forcing myself through the day its like you said people don't realise, you have to live it l really hope you find some peace soon its one of the most debilitating things you can have sending you hugs 🤗xx

[pav1984]

I would see your gp for sure.

While you are waiting I found physical exercise helps wonders with my mood. Obviously I dont know your health status but if you are safe to exercise then I advise it.

I found that the hardest part was getting motivated to do so. But force yourself to do it and you will start feeling a little better.

Best way I describe my depression is it is like wearing a hood. I dont see the bigger picture and only see in front. I also fond that I can now spot when I am going into this state and snap myself out of it by changing what I am doing. Change of room is sometimes all I need.

Depression is different for everyone and is hard to understand if you are lucky enough never to have suffered. Try to understand that next time you find yourself resenting your husband. Resenting him will just isolate you further.

[Redsmum]

Hi Redsmum

really sorry to hear your feeling like this, to be honest its not surprising the way things are at the moment

l I'm going through it myself at the moment forcing myself through the day its like you said people don't realise, you have to live it l really hope you find some peace soon its one of the most debilitating things you can have sending you hugs 🤗xx

Thanks Mrs Stress Ed so sorry to hear you’re also suffering too,it truly is horrible isn’t it, i just wish someone could wave a magic wand & we wouldn’t have to go through what we do we have to believe we will get better & that better times are coming. Take care & hope you can find some peace.