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Thread: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    685

    I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    I don't feel like myself anymore. Last few days I've felt completely empty and low, the lowest I've felt in years honestly. I've had depression since I was around 14/15, now I'm 32 and the last few days have been building up (or down you could say), into this dark, empty place where I can't sleep, I don't enjoy anything at all, not even eating. I feel like I'm either going to scream or burst into tears, all I want to do is run away to a quiet place where no one can talk to me, where I don't have to talk or listen to anything. My insides feel torn apart, like I'm fighting myself. I'm exhausted.

    Sometimes I stare in the mirror and don't know who I'm looking at, as though I'm completely detached from the person looking at me. Today has been the worst day, after a draining argument with my mum, and my dad not paying attention to social distance (even though he worse a mask, he was still too close to the man talking to him), it's taking a toll on me having to care for my parents 24/7 and no one cares about what their doing. I've absolutely no where to go to escape, I've no friends where I live, so I'm isolated.

    The weight of everything is crushing me inside and out. I don't even look like I use too, my hair, skin, face, all feels older, worn thin. I can't honestly remember what it felt like to be happy, it's been years. But this last few days have felt worse, as if it were all being drained out of me.

    I don't know how to describe this, or how it really feels. I just know this feels different than how my depression normally feels. Bottom of the pit kind of way. I can't find any comfort either, no one wants to understand, so I'm left alone as if I'm on a small empty island while people are passing on a ship, waving but not really caring.

    I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    2,567

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    Oh, how I can sympathise with this place you find yourself in

    I'm in an identical place right now so all I can say is; you are not alone.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    685

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    I'm sorry you're in a similar place, it really is hard to explain this to others who don't quite understand this kind of thing.

    It's easier knowing I'm not alone, but hate that anyone is suffering the same. Hope you are okay though, and you are not alone either x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    Hey you two. Not exactly depression with me at the moment but lots of DP/unreality/disconnected. Though I know what depression feels like so I empathise with you both. Take good care.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    685

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    I know what you mean @fishman65 I definitely have that disconnection at the moment, almost surreal detachment. Maybe it's everything going on in the world and other factors too.

    Thank you, hope you feel better soon x

  6. #6

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    I've been to that suffocating place, and while it feels it will last forever, it won't, it will pass, and the sun will shine again x

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2018
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    1,073

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    hugs mischa
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  8. #8

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    I really sympathize with you. I understand you perfectly because I have been in a similar state for half a year already.
    I've been thinking about suicide for a month now. I try to cope with it but I'm not really good at it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    704

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    Gloria have you spoken to anyone about how you feel?maybe look at some links on here about getting help.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    415

    Re: I Feel Completely Empty and Alone

    I get where you are coming from - and like Fishman65 am suffering from the same this last week. Haven't had depression and anxiety like this for years and all it took was 4 months of the current nonsensical crisis to reduce me to my current state or semi-hopelessness. I'm sure for you too it is just an accumulation of anxiety and fears over not knowing what is going to happen, not helped by all the 24-hour doom-mongering everywhere you look.Any yes I too have looked in the mirror some days and thought 'God you look rough/haggard/old' - but remember it is just your mind's eye seeing that....You are not alone ... many of us are feeling like this ... and NMP is always here.
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    Dorabella

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