Hello folks,

I'm going through a really tough time right now and could just use some words of encouragement/support or just logic (A good slap on the wrist).

To explain, 2 weeks ago, my HA spiked when i had a panic attack, I went to A&E they told me everything is fine. Had an ECG/Chest X-Ray/Blood test. Nothing was found. All normal. Great. Cool.

Fast forward 2 days and I ended up in A&E again this time however, they were going to take out my appendix as I was taken there by my dad with incredible stomach pain to the point where I could not even move properly. At the time I was happy to finally realise the difference between and actual emergency condition and an anxiety one. God that pain was awful.

Since then however, my anxiety has become absolutely fixated on things pretty rare/ridiculous and even unrelated to that particular operation. The main one right now of course as most HAers have is their heart. I am terrified i have some form of coronary heart disease, and i'm waiting to keel over. The reasoning behind this? Well, recently i've been walking 30 minutes a day to recover from my operation, which is great, until about 20 minutes in when I start to get chest ache and a slight shortness of breath, If i stop walking it dies down, if i carry on it flares up again and goes on and off during the walk.

Now before my HA spiked, I had a rule of no googling at all, regardless of minor or major the illness was. But since I slipped mentally I ended up on a path I wish I hadn't. I googled pain during excercise and got Angina/Heart Disease etc, you know the drill. And of course this absolutely terrified me. I rang up my GP after 4 days of getting this while walking and he told me that at 29 years old, even overweight(Which i'm losing atm) it would be incredibly rare for a heart disease to manifest itself, even angina. I have no family history of heart problems (Except my grandad but he's like 90). I do feel tense alot during the day and my shoulders feel sore. Is it possible that all this ache and pain while exercising is nothing more than a combination of poor posture and muscular tension? The GP also mentioned that because I haven't really exercised well since lockdown began it could be my body adjusting to it. But a week seems a while for it to adjust. And of course, even though I've had ECG's i'm like "hur dur but what if they didnt pick up the angina". It's stupid. I know it is.

Secondly since then, my appetite has gone to shit. I wasn't eating after the operation which they said was normal but it's been 2 weeks and my appetite is still gone. Although, my GP prescribed me Citalopram 10mg which I have been taking for 7 days so I imagine that's a contributing factor. I also seem to get this really odd cramp on the left side of my stomach just under my ribs, could be IBS.

If you got this far, thank you . I don't know what else to do right now, I just had to vent my frustrations. I have my first therapy appointment next week and the citalopram is stacking up so, I'm not just sitting on my laurels and letting this rule my life entirely. But...any support would be appreciated. I'm so exhausted from the worry. I feel trapped in my own mind.